


Searching for Paradise

by Nonahana



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Alpha Lee Taemin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Baekhyun and the NCT members in later chapters, Beta Kim Jongin | Kai, Blood, Bottom Lee Taemin, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of abusive childhood, NCT babies, Obvious idiots in love, Panic Attacks, Smut, Taemin and Jongin being soft boyfriends, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, Violence, they just don't know it, this is much softer than the tags suggest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27723185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonahana/pseuds/Nonahana
Summary: “We are going to present soon,“ Taemin mused aloud as he dangled his feet into the cold water of a bubbling creek. It was a hot summer day and he and Jongin had skipped out on their duties to relax in their favourite spot.“Hm…,“ Jongin hummed and threw a small stone into the water.“Are you still worried about presenting as a beta?“ Taemin asked his best friend since childhood.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin
Comments: 48
Kudos: 120





	1. Waiting for Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely person,
> 
> Thank you for clicking on my first fic. It's a bit of an experiment as I find the a/b/o trope interesting but always felt a bit uncomfortable because of how absolute it can be. I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea. There will be smut, but I tried to figure out my own take on it. If that is not your cup of tea and you prefer the usual trope, I take no offence and I hope you have a lovely day.
> 
> The tags make this fic seem more hardcore than it is (I think), but I wanted to give a fair warning because I do not wish to trigger anyone.

It was a sunny day that was almost bordering on too hot to be pleasant. Taemin was sitting with Jongin at the edge of a bubbling creek. They were dangling their feet into the cool water to cool down their bodies after a tiring morning. They had skipped out on their duties to relax in their favourite spot. The other young wolves of their pack were busy collecting nuts and berries.

“We are going to present soon,“ Taemin mused aloud. They were the next in line age-wise.

“Hm…,“ Jongin hummed and threw a small stone into the water.

“Are you still worried about presenting as a beta?“ Taemin asked his best friend since childhood.

“Wouldn’t you be if you were me?“ Jongin said and sighed. “I don’t want to lead the life of a beta. They only get two options. They are either whored out to unmated alphas during their rut or they have to drink teas that completely suppress their sexuality as they serve omegas. How is that a life?”

“You are too good at hunting and fighting. Aren’t you the best of all the unpresented wolves? Betas tend to be average hunters and fighters. The younger ones look up to you so much, too,“ Taemin tried to comfort.

“That’s just it. I am too good with the cubs. Alphas never are. Never mind the dancing,“ Jongin buried his face in his hands. Taemin reached over and massaged his nape. He didn’t want to show it, but he was concerned for his friend, too. Jongin was a soft soul. Even a bit shy at times. Some would say too soft for an alpha. It was a side Jongin guarded carefully, but it tended to come out when he tussled with the cubs or when he was alone with Taemin, but he never showed it in front of the alphas of their pack.

“There have been alphas who were good dancers…“ Taemin trailed off at Jongin’s look.

Dancing was usually reserved for omegas.

“We won’t know for sure till we present,“ Taemin eventually said. He moved his hand further up to tangle his hand in Jongin’s hair and massaged his scalp the way he knew the other liked.

Jongin nodded and pressed back into Taemin’s hand.

“What about you? Aren’t you worried to be pawed off to the strongest alpha in a heartbeat?“

Taemin had known that he would be an omega since he had been a very young wolf. He always had been a head shorter than most children his age and his build was slender but agile. He liked to dance and preferred to play-fight with the little cubs over getting into fights to ascend in the pack hierarchy. Therefore, he knew what he had to expect in life.

“They would have to want me first.“ Taemin said and scratched his nose.

Jongin scoffed.

“You live too much in your own world. There are alphas only waiting for you to present. I’ve heard them talk.“

„Well, my father will have to agree first. He won’t want our family to miss out on becoming the leading family for another generation. He will pick an alpha who can be a strong leader. His son turning out to be an omega was already the greatest insult.“ Taemin grimaced as he remembered his father’s dissatisfaction with him.

Jongin shook off Taemin’s hand and wrapped an arm around his shoulder instead.

“Your father shouldn’t get to choose your mate.“

Taemin hummed and leaned against his friend’s side. He would miss this the most. Just spending time with Jongin in the forest and doing nothing much. Moreover, he didn’t like to think too much about what mating entailed for him. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind whenever they surfaced in the blind hope the problem would solve itself.

In a way, he had hoped they could always stay two kids playing in the forest. Now, they had reached the age where they could reach maturity at any time. Taemin expected to present first, though, since he was a few months older.

“We are a sorry pity-party. Come on, let’s dance.“ Without waiting for an answer, Jongin pulled him up and moved them in position, so they stood back to back. Taemin’s lips tipped into a smile as he took the familiar stance and knew without looking that Jongin mirrored him perfectly.

The bubbling of the creek, the rustling of the leaves and the songs of the birds had always been their music. They moved in perfect sync over roots and fallen logs as their limbs painted lines of movement into the air.

Jongin’s sharp and precise movements contrasted nicely with the fluidity of his. Taemin gave himself over to the music and shut out his thoughts. He was only aware of the noises around them and Jongin’s movements.

Despite the heat, they must have danced for hours because when they stopped it was dark and the moon high in the sky. Sometimes it scared Taemin how much he lost himself when they did that, but at the same time, he felt light and content as they parted ways after saying goodbye for the night.

*

Taemin’s father sat in front of the stove when he tried to sneak in. He dropped all pretence of tip-toeing when he locked eyes with the man.

“You are late.“

“I am sorry. I got distracted.“ Taemin noticed his mother sitting to the side. His mother lowered his head when he looked at him. Like always, his mother would not get involved in any of the arguments he had with his father. As a child, he used to feel betrayed.

“Tomorrow, you are home before sundown. Don’t think you can stay out all night just because you haven’t presented yet.“

“Yes, father.“ As experience had proven to him, agreement was the fastest way to get these talks over with.

“And don’t think that I don’t know that you are with that Jongin-kid all the time. His smell is all over you. Whatever you might hope for, that boy will never get to claim you. His family is not part of the pack-elite.“

Taemin balled his fists. It was nothing new for him that his father disliked his „middle-class“ friend and reminded him of his status. It had never mattered to Taemin who the other’s parents were. He disliked the snobbish kids his father had always wanted him to play with. To him, Jongin was his only friend.

“Yes, father,“ Taemin pressed out. However, he didn’t delude himself into thinking he would choose his mate.

His father lifted the hot poker from the stove to point it at him. Taemin took an involuntary step back in surprise.

“Good, and don’t get any dangerous ideas. If you think you could get away with giving your virginity secretly to that boy, you have another thing coming. There would be hell to pay for making me a disgrace to the whole pack.“  
Taemin stared at the hot poker as he answered.

“We aren’t like that.“

“Not yet maybe. After you present you will stop seeing that boy alone. Now, go to bed.“

“Good night, father, mother,“ Taemin said mechanically. He went to his small but very comfortable room and dropped on his furs.

He massaged his eyes. He had heard talks about omegas that had tried to avoid their chosen mate by losing their virginity to some other wolf. However, he also knew how those tales tended to end. The other wolf got banished from the pack and the omega got shunned for the rest of their life. It was even worse when the two had mated as their souls would be in constant agony from being kept apart. That wasn’t a life he considered worth living.

Did his father seriously think he and Jongin would do something like that? Who did he have in mind for Taemin to entertain such concerns?

Helplessly, he did his best to banish the panic that built as he thought of his fathers promise that he wouldn’t be allowed to meet Jongin alone anymore. What would that do to their friendship? Could they even continue being friends without meeting each other?

He had felt so good after dancing for hours, but now, he had to swallow down his dread.

*

The next morning Taemin got up early after a very restless night. His body felt tired and worn out, but his mind was a jumbled mess. He needed something to keep him busy if he didn’t want to turn into a nervous wreck. When he stuck his head out of his room, his father was thankfully not there. He ate a quiet and fast breakfast with his mother before he got out to look for some work.

He joined a group of young wolves to go pick firewood in the forest. It was exhausting, but dull work and his brain went right back to worrying.

“Yo,“ Taemin jumped into the air at the greeting.

Jongin looked at him weirdly.

“Did I just surprise you?“ The last time Jongin had managed to sneak up on him was years ago. There wasn’t much that could give him a scare.

“I was just deep in thought.“

“Right.“ Jongin said sarcastically.

Taemin huffed and started loading his firewood into his friend’s ridiculously strong arms. Whenever he looked up after placing another log or branch on him, he met Jongin’s lifted eyebrow that showed him his friend was calling his bullshit.

They did two trips to the camp to unload the wood they had collected before Taemin finally cracked.

“Okay, fine.“

“About time,“ Jongin said and broke a bigger branch into two, before loading them on Taemin’s shoulder, “Spill.“

“Father thinks I could try to run off to lose my virginity after presenting.“

Jongin stopped what he had been doing to stare at him.

“We all know the stories. You would be insane to do that.“

“Exactly!“

“Do you think he has someone in mind already? Someone that might cause you to seriously consider such an option?“

“That’s the only reason I came up with,” Taemin said.

“I guess you don’t want to try and run away?“

Taemin shook his head.

“Father would hunt me down in no time. In one way or another, I have to make my family the one leading the pack.“

“What if it is a terrible person?“

Taemin just shrugged and Jongin sighed.

„There is something we should be able to do. It shouldn’t matter as what we present,“ Jongin grumbled.

“It shouldn’t, but it does.“ Taemin might have broken that branch into two pieces with more force than necessary.

They continued collecting wood and did two more trips. Taemin kept kneading his hands whenever they were free enough to do so, even though, he tried not to.

“What else?“ Jongin asked as soon as they were behind the trees again.

Taemin breathed in to deny that there was anything else bothering him, but then he just blew out his breath. They always fared better when they told each other what was going on. It concerned Jongin anyway.

“After I present, father said I wouldn’t be allowed to meet you alone anymore.“

Jongin looked like he had been hit over the head.

“What? Why?“

“You are the one he thinks I would try to run off with.“

“To be fair, if I thought we stood a chance, I would try to convince you.“

Now, it was Taemin’s turn to stare at Jongin dumbstruck.

“And live without a pack?“

“We could try to find a new one.“

Taemin opened and closed his mouth, and Jongin waved him off.

“It doesn’t matter. I think you are right when you say your father would hunt you down no matter what.“

“I can’t believe you thought about that.“

“And I can’t believe you haven’t.“

They silently continued their work.

“We will find a way to meet,” Jongin eventually said.

“My father can smell you on me.”

Jongin grimaced.

“So what do we do? We won’t meet anymore?”

Taemin looked at his best friend. His stupidly kind best friend with the soft brown eyes that tended to read him like a book. His throat closed up. Mutely, he shook his head. They simply had to continue seeing each other or he would go insane. How was he supposed to handle his mate without having Jongin in his life?

Jongin blinked his eyes rapidly. He must have imagined it as well.

“We will find a way,” this time it was Taemin who said it.

They did one more trip and then stopped by the hut with the cubs. It was a hut where the omegas met with their offspring to exchange advice and where the little ones got to play with each other. That was how Taemin and Jongin had met as well. It was also a place they liked to visit when they were feeling down. Jongin was naturally good with the cubs and Taemin had learned from his friend how to get over his fear to hurt them.

Jongin got down on his knees and let the slightly bigger children crawl on his back to ride him. They bubbled over with laughter as Jongin swayed carefully to make it exciting for them. Taemin felt too tried to play-fight today. Instead, he transformed into his wolf form and curled around the cluster of napping babies to share his warmth. They snuggled into his white fur in their sleep and he listened to their calming heartbeats. He let his eyes slip close.

When Taemin came to again, there was a warm weight against his side. Without looking, he pushed his snout under the neck of the caramel-coloured wolf at his side and went back to sleep.

He woke up completely when the babies pressed against him, were picked up one after another. Jongin was already awake and waiting for him to wake up. When he saw Taemin’s eyes were open, he changed back to his human form.

Taemin stretched and yawned before changing back as well.

“I take it you didn’t sleep at all last night. You were completely out.“

“Would you have?“ Taemin asked as they exited the hut.

Jongin only sighed in answer.

“I should go back home before I am late again,“ Taemin said, but didn’t move to leave. He looked around them to make sure they were alone. The omegas had left already and there was just one beta walking away from them. He got on his toes, reached up high to throw his arms around Jongin’s shoulders and then threw his full weight at him.

“Ompf!“

Taemin grinned to himself. He could still surprise the other with the action, even though he had started doing it since the day Jongin had grown over his head. Jongin was the bigger cuddler of the two of them, but Taemin always enjoyed knocking the breath out of him. Jongin was quick to hug him back with one of his bear-hugs.

“Hugging shouldn’t be sadistic,“ Jongin sulked.

“Indulge me. I have to go back home.“

“Fine.“

He got hugged tighter.

They separated and Taemin immediately felt cold. Jongin was a furnace, but it had probably more to do with the fact that he was going to a place that lacked the warmth of a true home. He forced a smile as they said their goodbyes.

Thankfully, his father was still out and he had a silent dinner with his mother. He frowned when he told him about his day, but didn’t comment. Even if he didn’t mention Jongin, they knew he had been with him, but they had given up to end their friendship for the time being. Taemin could be stubborn.

When he got ready for bed, he decided to spend as much time with the other as he could. He had no idea how much longer they had before meeting up became way more difficult. Taemin figured he would lay awake again as he had slept so much, but he fell asleep quickly…

…only to wake up a few hours later hot and sweaty.


	2. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back!
> 
> I got a bit over-excited because of my first comments and this turned out to be longer than I had intended. I wanted the chapters to be equal in length, but I guess I still need to figure out my own rhythm.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Confused and disorientated, Taemin blinked at his surroundings as he tried to pierce together what had woken him. Where was all the heat coming from? He kicked off his blankets and felt the cold night air touch his overheated skin. The heat came from him? He touched himself. His body was burning like he had a high fever. His eyes widened and he quickly reached between his legs. His cock was aching and hard, but there wasn’t any slick. He froze. This didn’t make any sense. Where was the slick? Omegas always produced slick when they went into heat.  
His heart beat a mile a minute as his brain tried to grasp the situation. Was he defect? Was he a beta? But betas didn’t burn up. They just felt restless as their scent changed overnight. Dread settled in his stomach like lead as he reached down again. This time he touched his cock. It was there. Small but unmistakable. A knot. He pulled his hand away as if he got burned. He had not gone into heat, but he was experiencing his first rut. He was an alpha. He panicked. Shaking, he scrambled up and threw on his clothes in a rush. He almost fell face-first out of his window as his legs felt like jelly. His whole body protested as he forced it to move. He had always hated that they lived on different ends of the camp, but today it was pure agony.  
When he finally reached the hut, he dragged himself along its wall till he reached Jongin’s window. The window was only a hole in the wall that got covered with wood in the winter.  
“Jongin?“ Taemin almost didn’t recognise his own voice. It sounded hoarse and shaky. There was no reply. There was a collection of beautiful stones on the windowsill. He pushed one off the edge and it made a loud clanging noise inside.

“Reeeeeennwhaaa?“

“Nini?“

“Minnie?“

“Nini.“

Taemin heard noises of someone getting up. Jongin appeared in his window. He looked barely awake.

“Wha?“

Taemin breathed heavily. His mind was a mess. How could he possibly explain what was happening when he didn’t even understand it himself?

“Nini.“

Something in his appearance or voice must have been enough to kick Jongin’s brain into gear. He blinked his eyes fully open. Taemin saw the exact moment his nostrils flared and his changed scent registered with his friend.

“What the…“ Jongin stared at him for a moment, “Move aside. I am coming through.“

Taemin dragged himself to the side.

Jongin got out only slightly more graceful then Taemin had. His friend immediately felt his forehead.

“Unbelievable…,“ Jongin looked at him slightly dazed before he shook himself out of it. “We should go somewhere more private. Can you walk?“

Taemin let go of the hut with one hand and swayed. Jongin immediately reached for him and pulled him on his back. Jongin’s soft shirt felt really good against his hot skin as he clung on to the best of his ability.

They moved quickly through the night and Jongin carefully placed him on a log at their favourite spot.

“Okay, good.“ Jongin said, probably more to himself than Taemin. “You are experiencing a rut. It’s alright.“

“It’s not fine! It’s all wrong!“

“We can talk about this later. You need to take care of it first. You can give yourself a real fever if you don’t.“

“This is bullshit. I was not supposed to be an alpha. This body is all wrong. This isn’t me!“ Taemin breathed heavily. He knew he was being ridiculous. Jongin probably knew much more about ruts than Taemin. He had only ever learned about heats. His body hurt. He didn’t feel any kind of desire. He just wanted everything to stop.

“Minnie please.“

“It hurts.“

“I know. That’s why you need to take care of it.“

Taemin groaned, and fisted his hair and pulled at it painfully to distract himself from the pain he had no control over.

“Whoa! Stop right there.“ Jongin grabbed his hands and pulled them out of his hair.

His friend sat down in front of him and pulled him into his lap. Taemin went willingly and pressed close. Whatever was happening to him, it needed to stop.

“You need to calm down. I can’t help you like this,“ Jongin murmured close to his ear. Taemin held on to his shoulders to try and stop his shaking. Jongin drew random patterns on his back and Taemin followed them with his mind. Eventually, he calmed down enough for his breathing to become more regular.

“Okay,“ Jongin said again.

“And now?“ Taemin whispered.

“And now? You rub one out. It’s no big deal.“

Taemin sighed and placed his forehead against Jongin’s collarbone.

“Look, you don’t need to worry about this whole purity crap anymore. You are not an omega. Moreover, everyone will expect to smell sex on you after you presented. This is all perfectly normal.“

Taemin didn’t move.

“I can give you some privacy.“ Jongin leaned away slightly and Taemin immediately felt his breathing accelerate. “Or not.“

“Not.“

“Not. Okay,“ Jongin scratched his head. „Fine, just hump against me then.“

Taemin almost gave himself whiplash as he pulled away quickly to stare at the other incredulously.

“What? How else are we going to do this? We are not leaving before you have taken care of your rut. You might not feel it, but you are completely burning up. More than you should.“

“I can’t just use you.“

“I have always wanted to feel someone else. Jerking myself off after a successful hunt is nice and all, but I always wondered what it would feel with someone else. I have never been close enough to the other boys I go hunting with.“

Taemin’s brain felt too sluggish to properly understand what Jongin was telling him. They had never really talked much about sex, but it sounded like Jongin wanted it. That was the only thing that mattered to him.

“Uhh? Okay?“

Jongin nodded and reached behind his knees to hike him further up his lap. Experimentally, Taemin pressed forward and hissed. He had neglected his cock for too long. It was painful and not at all pleasurable.

“Do you want to take your trousers off to take some of the pressure off?“

How embarrassing would it be to be naked against Jongin? Taemin pushed those thoughts aside. It was Jongin. It would be fine.

“Yeah.“

Jongin helped him manoeuvre out of his pants and hiked him back up in his lap. Taemin tried again.

“Better?“

“Yeah.“ Taemin started rolling his hips. The pain started to recede slightly as pleasure build. He leaned closer and dug his fingers into Jongin’s shoulders to anchor himself. Jongin moved one hand to his hip and the other wrapped around his back.

Taemin sighed. It felt good. Hugging Jongin felt familiar. He uncurled his cramping fingers to wrap his arms around the other to turn this into even more of a hug. Jongin started to thrust up and it felt good enough to make him gasp. They quickly found a rhythm as they timed their movements not unlike when they were dancing.

Taemin had to pull back, though.

“The material of your trousers is too rough. I am sensitive.“

“I could pull it down.“

“Yeah.“

“Uhh, okay.“

They moved awkwardly before they got back in position.

When skin touched on skin, Taemin felt like he was seeing stars. He moaned loudly. Jongin shuddered under him and their thrusts quickly picked up speed.

Jongin’s cock felt hot and velvety hard against his own. It was strange but nice at the same time. He started to feel good quickly and he felt them get stickier where they were rubbing against each other.

Taemin wasn’t sure who initiated it first, but their lips met, and he immediately pressed into the kiss. Jongin tasted so good. He licked and nibbled at the plump lips and immediately swept inside when Jongin opened them for him. Kissing was heady, especially, when Jongin groaned against his tongue. Taemin’s hip movements became even faster and Jongin grabbed his hips to keep him from toppling off. He was almost there. He groaned frustrated. Only a little bit more.  
Warm hands started to knead his butt and he felt a blunt finger press against his hole. Pleasure raced up his spin. He felt his hole flutter under the touch and Taemin tipped over the edge.

He breathed heavily against Jongin’s lips. He felt the other thrust up against him a few more times and then heard him groan.

Taemin felt sated and boneless.

He slumped against Jongin’s body and hummed against the other’s neck. Jongin giggled.

“Yeah, definitely better than alone.“

Taemin only hummed again. He didn’t want to move anytime soon. Therefore, he whined when Jongin moved him off his lap.

“Believe me, it will be better if we clean up now. Just stay put.“

Taemin could do that. He sprawled out on the ground and stared unseeingly at the sky. There was something wet on his stomach, though. There was a slimy liquid on his shirt. He poked it.

Gross.

Jongin returned and wiped him down with his soaked shirt.

“Give me yours. I will drag it through the water. You might still get in trouble if they can tell you had sex with me.“

“Thanks.“

Jongin hung their shirts to dry in some branches and then dropped down next to him.

“Enough action for tonight. Let’s talk after some sleep.“

“Yeah, okay.“ Taemin tried to push the thoughts crowding back into his brain down.

“Seriously…“ Jongin frowned and dragged him into a bear-hug. “Sleep.“

Taemin tangled their legs and plastered their torsos together. Just in case they got cold. Just in case.

The sun woke Taemin and he blinked up through the leaves over their heads. Jongin had almost fully rolled on top of him during the night and Taemin felt flattened into the soft forest floor. It felt nice. He reached up to gently massage the other’s scalp. He knew Jongin liked it, but if he was completely honest, he had always found it calming as well. Jongin turned his head and gently puffed against Taemin’s cheek in his sleep. The other had such a deep sleep, but he would let him sleep till he woke up. He was utterly grateful his friend had gotten up in the middle of the night to help him get over his panic. At that moment, he had thought of no one else. It was customary to go to a family member, but he had no siblings and he had never had a loving bond with his parents. He grimaced at the thought alone.

Eventually, Jongin stirred. Taemin watched Jongin’s sun-kissed skin ripple as he moved his muscles. It almost looked bronze in the early morning light. If Taemin had to define the word beautiful, he figured Jongin was a prime example.

Jongin suddenly jolted up.

“I am crushing you,“ he mumbled.

“I don’t mind,“ Taemin said and kept his arms around the other’s torso. Jongin dragged him along as he rolled on his side.

“Are you serious?“ Jongin asked surprised.

“It felt nice.“

“Huh…How do you feel otherwise?“

“Not much is different. Just like myself, I guess. I expected a bigger change.“

Jongin scratched the side of his head.

“You should be bubbling over with testosterone and feel ready to fight anyone who looks at you the wrong way.“

“Not really.“

Jongin leaned closer and sniffed his neck.

“You don’t smell much like it either.“

“I can smell you better though.“ Taemin took a whiff.

“Oh, what do I smell like?“

“Strong, but soft. Wild, but gentle. And Earthy. Warm. I don’t know. You are a bit worried.“

“I sound like I have a split personality,“ Jongin grumbled.

“It’s a good scent,“ Taemin soothed and buried his nose in Jongin’s neck to underline his point. The other sighed.

“We should take a bath. We probably smell like sex, too. And I need to get you up to date on alpha behaviour. It is so stupid that we get separated into groups when we get educated. Why shouldn’t alphas learn about omegas and omegas about alphas? No one can say for sure what we present as anyway.”

“To be fair, I didn’t think I needed to know about alphas.“

“Still, you would have probably felt less panicky when you better understood what was going on with you. Keeping omegas ignorant is just a ploy to keep them from questioning the alphas if you ask me.“

“Doesn’t that sound like something my father would support? “ Taemin said dryly and shook out his stiff limbs after he got up. He used his full weight to pull Jongin to his feet.

They collected their discharged clothes and walked to the closest lake. The water was refreshingly cool and Taemin submerged his whole body. When he broke through the surface, Jongin was already cleaning his hair. Taemin scrubbed himself as best as he could as he let his mind wander.

“You will have to watch out to keep your kinks a secret,“ Jongin said suddenly.

“What do you mean?“

“Well, when you said you don’t mind me pressing you down, it could get you in trouble if someone heard that. The alpha in you should go ballistic by being kept down like that.“

“I don’t think I would have liked it if it had been anyone else. We have been friends for so long.“

„But that’s just it. A young wolf, who hasn’t even presented, keeping an alpha down that just had his first rut and should be overflowing with testosterone. Usually, the hierarchy in the friend group gets rearranged quickly in cases like that.“

“But that is stupid. You never used being taller against me. I have no intention of using being an alpha against you. We don’t have a hierarchy to begin with.“

Jongin’s shoulders sagged with relief.

They had never gotten engaged in those fights for dominance the other children around their age had been so invested in. They had tussled together, but it had never been serious enough to make either of them bare their throat or belly. That wasn’t how they worked.

“I won’t deny that I was worried about how this would influence our friendship. I would have submitted, of course, but I don’t know how I would have felt about it.“

“Don’t submit. It would be weird.“

“I will have to at the camp.“

Taemin wanted to protest, but he knew that Jongin was right. He would have a role to play. They both had to.

“Your father will expect you to be the perfect alpha. I imagine the consequences wouldn’t be pretty for either of us if we flaunted the rules,“ Jongin reminded him.

“Let’s hope it never comes to that,“ Taemin said darkly.

“There is another thing you absolutely have to hide,“ Jongin said carefully. Taemin looked at him expectantly.

“Last night, I could smell how your pleasure spiked when I touched your butt. It’s considered ‘abnormal’ for alphas to like that. It’s associated with submission, weakness and omegas. It’s said to weaken the pack if the alphas give in to weaknesses like that. It’s stupid, of course, but the punishment for ‘abnormal‘ behaviour can be quite bad. Remember that young alpha three years ago?“

Taemin swallowed uncomfortably around the lump in his throat. It had felt so good, but he still remembered how that man had been publicly humiliated. Back then, he had not yet understood, but they had found out a year late when they asked his father: The men had displayed ‘abnormal’ behaviour.

“I hate being an alpha so much.“

“No one needs to know about your preferences,“ Jongin tried to comfort him.

“I know none of the things I should nor do I know how to hunt or fight.“

“You will learn that in no time. I’ll teach you all my tricks.“

“Thank you. I will never win the fight for pack leader though. In a sense, me being a weak alpha is even worse for my father than me being an omega.“

Jongin worried his lips between his teeth as he measured Taemin’s proportions with his eyes.

„Maybe…you are fast and agile. You could use that to your advantage. You are quite strong, too, because of the dancing.“

“Be honest, Jongin, do you really think I stand a chance against one of these alphas twice my size?“

“We have to try,“ the other said with a shrug. “For a start, later when we return, walk as if you were about to start dancing. Spin straight and head held high.“

“I guess I can do that.“

“And growl at some people.“

“Absolutely not. That is just plain rude.“

“You are expected to be rude.“

“I can’t do that.“

“The less you draw attention to the fact that your scent isn’t bubbling over with testosterone the better. You do smell like an alpha, but you smell more like yourself.“

“I’ll try,“ Taemin said with a sigh. It wasn’t Jongin he had to fight.

“To be fair, what matters for now is that you don’t end up at the bottom of the pecking order or the other alphas will bully you. We can worry about your father and this pack leader business later.“

“I never wanted to be pack leader,“ Taemin whispered.

“I know,“ Jongin said with compassion.

A silence settled between them. Jongin continued washing and Taemin pulled up his legs to bop next to him in the water. They would have to return to camp soon. Then their little bubble would burst and he would have to face the pack and his family. He shuddered.

Maybe they could stay in the forest for just a little longer if he managed to distract Jongin. To do so, the best way was always to attack.

He watched for when Jongin would get down to float. When he was sure the other wasn’t on his feet anymore, he pounced. Jongin flailed his arms as he went under. Immediately, hands grabbed Taemin and pulled him down.

They struggled underwater with each other till they had to come up for air. They breathed heavily. Jongin still had a grip on his wrist and Taemin had his hand wrapped around his elbow.

“Gotcha!“ Taemin said sweetly.

Jongin growled and tackled him into the water. Taemin got water into his nose and mouth but still had to laugh as he came back up spluttering. He slung his legs around Jongin’s body tightly and held on like a vice.

“Are you going to dunk me?“ He asked innocently as he tried not to grin.

Jongin tried to pull him off, but Taemin only added his arms. The other groaned as he used all the strength in his arms to pull him off his body. Without success.

“Not fair!“ Jongin huffed, but Taemin looked unfazed by his efforts.

Taemin could see the exact moment when Jongin had an idea because his eyes formed to slits. Warm lips pressed against his and he moaned. Jongin swept his tongue into his mouth and their water-fight continued with their tongues instead as they wrestled for dominance. Their sharp canines caught their lips and Taemin felt excitement crawl up his spin. Jongin groaned and a hand tangled in Taemin’s wet hair and tugged playfully. Taemin scratched his nails over the other’s back and noticed midroll that he had been humping Jongin’s pecs. He froze embarrassed. Jongin’s lips stretched into a smile against his. Before Taemin could even be properly confused, he flew through the air and landed with a loud splash.

He resurfaced growling deeply.

Jongin’s eyebrows moved up towards his hairline when he heard the deep noise. The other held up placating hands and walked slowly towards Taemin.

“I was just teasing you.“

Taemin kept moving backwards till the water only reached his calves. Jongin moved cautiously closer. When his friend was close enough, Taemin grabbed his wrist and yanked with all his strength. They toppled over into the swallow water and Jongin’s weight knocked the breath out of both of them.

Taemin attacked his lips with passion without giving them time to breathe properly. Jongin groaned and pulled out of the kiss to gasp for air.

They looked at each other breathing hard. Without breaking eye contact, Jongin aligned their hips and pressed down. Taemin arched up and spread his legs to get them closer together. Jongin reached down and wrapped a hand around both of them.

Taemin didn’t think he would be able to survive Jongin doing body rolls against him while additionally jerking them off together. His head tipped back as he turned into a gasping and moaning mess quickly. The look in Jongin’s eyes was sharp and took in his every reaction. The other was all hard planes and sharp muscles all around him. Taemin dragged his nails over the hard-working bicep that kept Jongin propped over him. It made the other shudder. Not wanting to just lie there and thrust up, he ranked his nails all over the other and smiled when it made Jongin lose their rhythm several times. Looked like he found a kink, too.

“You drive me insane,“ Jongin said against his lips before kissing him deeply. Wanting to get even closer, Taemin slung his legs around Jongin and dug into the small of his back. He felt Jongin struggle with the angle on their cocks.

“Wait, hold on.“

Taemin held on tightly as Jongin crawled them out of the water and on the wet earth. Jongin rolled them over and Taemin whined when he ended up half on top of Jongin who hiked his leg up as high as it would go.

“Suck.“ The other pressed a finger against his lips.

“But…“

“Trust me.“

Taemin rolled his eyes but took the long digit into his mouth.

„Make it wetter.“

He made a slobbering mess. Jongin looked at his finger critically after pulling it out of his mouth and then moved his hand behind Taemin. Taemin sucked in a sharp breath when he felt one finger press against his hole.

“Okay?“

“Yes.“ More than okay.

It felt weird when the tip pressed in. Taemin moved back experimentally and the finger slipped in deeper.

“Oh,“ he gasped. Pleasure raced up his spin. “More.“

It slightly burned and the stretch was unfamiliar, but Taemin felt hot all over as Jongin took his time stretching him open. He kept pulling back before pressing slightly deeper than the previous time. Taemin buried his head in the other’s shoulder as his hips started to move on their own accord to get the finger deeper. He became loose enough for Jongin to thrust easily.

A garbled noise left his lips when Jongin pressed somewhere really good. Taemin lost all control as he rubbed against the other’s thigh and Jongin’s finger kept fucking into that spot that made him see stars.

He came on a choked sob. He had never felt that good in his life.

He came to slowly and noticed that he was bonelessly sprawled over Jongin.

“You are really hot when you go all alpha on me only to fall apart like this,“ Jongin murmured.

“We are not done yet.“ It took more effort than it should to straddle Jongin, but his muscles felt sluggish.

There was an excited glint in Jongin’s eyes. The other placed his warm palms on his thighs and Taemin found the action strangely grounding.

“You look good on top, too.” There was a cheeky grin on Jongin’s lips as he looked up at him.

Taemin raked his eyes over the other’s muscular arms and chest.

“Looking good doesn’t start to cover how you look like this,” Taemin said. They didn’t usually call each other good looking or attractive, but not doing so right now would feel like a lie.

Jongin did that laugh he did when he was embarrassed. It always made him look endearing.

Now that Taemin had calmed down a bit, he reached behind his back and wrapped his hand around Jongin’s neglected cock. It was still hard and he pushed the foreskin back experimentally. Jongin sighed deep in his throat. It took him a while to get a proper rhythm and to twist his wrist in a way to make Jongin gasp with every move of his hand. The other’s eyelids lowered to half-mast as he moaned but always kept his gaze fixed on Taemin.  
When he trusted his coordination enough to not lose that angle, he dragged his nails over Jongin’s left nipple. Jongin bucked up so hard, he almost threw Taemin off.

‘’So-rry,” the other choked out.

Taemin huffed and tightened his legs around Jongin’s sides to have better control over his balance. He set out to torment Jongin into madness by jerking him off and playing with his nipples. Jongin tried to keep still, but he kept arching off the ground, tossing left and right and kicking his legs. Taemin watched fascinated as the other fell apart under his touches. He had never seen the other like this before. When he twisted his wrist on the way up just so and at the same time dragged his nails over the other’s nipples, Jongin’s back arched in the most mesmerising way. Taemin had to dig his knees into the ground to not lose his position, but he loved how Jongin lost complete control. Jongin made a high-pitched noise when he came. The other panted heavily and gave his thighs a weak squeeze. He knew what that meant and what Jongin wanted. Cuddles

Taemin wiped his hand off on some grass and lay down on top of his friend. The other’s heart was beating like a drum and there was a delay before Jongin wrapped his arms around him.

“We will have to take another bath.”

“Cuddles first,” Jongin mumbled. Instead of answering, Taemin nudged his head under Jongin’s chin to rest.

“We could have done this for years,” Taemin mumbled. He felt the other shake his head above him.

“No, you wanted to keep yourself pure. Remember?”

“Maybe that was stupid from the start.”

“It doesn’t matter. It was important to you then,” Jongin said. Taemin hummed. He couldn’t deny that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fully blame Jongin for this chapter. He has no mercy. If you haven't seen the youtube SuperM video where he shows off his arms, go for it. I never thought someone could be 'adorably muscular', but alas. It's called SuperCam Members& Intimacy (Whoever came up with that title was high on Jongin, too)
> 
> Thank you for reading my chapter. Stay safe and healthy <3


	3. Hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of a horrible week, but I wanted to do something for myself, too. So, here we are. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

“Ready?” Jongin asked after their second bath as they stood at the edge of the lake ready to go.

“I guess so.”

Jongin squeezed his hand.

They walked at a normal pace. Taemin knew he couldn’t, or rather shouldn’t, draw this out any longer. Jongin stopped him when they reached the edge of the forest.

“That growl you did earlier after I threw you in the water. You could try to replicate it.”

“Yes well, I don’t want to have sex with the people at the camp.“

Jongin’s lips twitched into a smile.

“I am just saying you could use it as a reference. It felt and sounded very real to me.”

“Okay, I get it. Fine,” Taemin said and pulled his shoulders down, straightened his spine and lifted his head. 

They stepped into camp. Heads turned in their direction and Taemin felt Jongin fall a step behind him. When he looked, the other had his head lowered and shoulders slightly hunched.

When he looked at the camp people, he didn’t need to channel the emotions from the lake. The feeling of injustice he felt at being forced into these roles neither of them wanted, made him angry enough to make the growling, if not natural, at least easier. 

People looked at him in disbelief, but no one approached and kept a respectful distance. Taemin felt sick to his stomach as the betas and omegas lowered their heads in the same way Jongin did. He didn’t want to be the kind of person that commanded respect by being rude. Jongin accompanied him to his hut before respectfully bowing away like some kind of servant. How could no one else think this was wrong?

Taemin took a deep breath and stepped into the hut. To his misfortune, his father was there. The other sat in front of the stove again and poked the pieces of wood harder than necessary. When he noticed his son, he was immediately upon him.

“Where have you been?” Taemin tried not to shy away from the words growled directly into his face. 

“I was out dealing with my rut,” he said and made sure to stand as tall as he could. Inside he felt as threatened as ever when his father questioned him. At the moment, he would not say no to some of these alpha hormones that would turn his gaze an aggressive and angry red.

His father’s nose flared and sucked in the air around him. His upper lip curled disdainfully after he smelled him.

“There are betas with a more dominant scent than that. You smell more like that friend of yours than alpha. Disgusting.” Without saying anything else, his father stormed out of the hut.

Taemin looked up and blinked his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. It wasn’t worth it. 

He dropped down on one of the furs around the low table and looked at his mother. He saw the same submissive gesture he showed to his father and it gave him another stab through the heart.

“You don’t have to lower your head like that.”

“You are an alpha now.”

Taemin had meant to eat something, but he couldn’t stand being in the same room with the constant reminder of what he was now and left for the comfort of his room.

He felt like scratching his skin off. Being with Jongin had pushed the reality of being an alpha somewhat to the back of his mind, but now that he was home, he felt oppressed by his own identity. The lump in his throat got thicker and thicker till he could hardly breathe around it anymore. He quickly stuffed some of the furs into his mouth to muffle his sobs. Alphas didn’t cry. Hopefully, no one got close enough to his window to smell him.

For the first time, his room made him feel claustrophobic. It had always been a safe haven in their hut as his parents generally stayed out of it, but right now, he only wanted to get out into the forest again to be as far away from his family as possible. He forced himself to calm down through deep breathing and looked out of the window. As soon as it was dark enough, he was going out again. He considered getting Jongin but decided against it. His friend needed a lot of sleep and he had already woken him up last night.

It felt like an eternity, but eventually, the moon was high and Taemin crawled out of his window. The second his feet touched the ground, he transformed into his wolf and sprinted off. 

He was almost tempted to run off and leave the camp far behind, but he knew they would hunt him down and if it ever came to it, he was running away with Jongin, not alone. Therefore, he stayed in the territory of his pack but ran as fast as his legs would allow him. 

Hours later and utterly exhausted, he returned to the lake he had been at earlier today. Without changing back, he plodded into the water and cooled down his overheated body. When the quick drop in temperature made him shiver, he got out and shook out his soggy fur. Feeling exhausted enough to sleep, he curled up on dry leaves and closed his eyes.

*

“Of course, he would sleep peacefully while I have a freaking meltdown!” 

Taemin heard a loud voice and sluggishly blinked his eyes open. Jongin was towering above him with his arms crossed. He quickly changed back to his human form. The other looked ready to murder him.

“Uhh…”

“Don’t ‘uhh’ me. Do you have any idea how worried I was when I noticed you were gone? Do you have any idea how late in the morning it already is? Can you imagine how hard it was to track you down after you had zigzagged all over the forest as if you were shaking off your pursuers? How cold your scent already was?”

“I’d never leave without you.”

“Good or I would hunt you down just to kick your sorry arse,” Jongin growled darkly.

“Look, I am sorry. I just needed to get out last night.”

“Why didn’t you get me to come with you?”

“I thought you needed some sleep.”

“Screw sleep. You have no idea how worried I was when I left you with your father. I thought to check on you, but I knew if your father caught me slinking around your hut, he’d go ballistic not only on me but on you, too. I said to myself, ‘Don’t worry. Taemin will come to you’, only to realise early in the morning, your room has been empty for hours!”

“I am sorry,” Taemin said meekly. He could count on one hand the times Jongin had been as angry as he was right now.

“Don’t do it again.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Taemin circled Jongin so he could back-hug him. Jongin stayed stiff for several seconds before he slumped and wrapped his hands around Taemin’s hands.

“You are being sneaky.”

“It’s the only thing that works.”

Jongin huffed.

“I will still kick your butt today. You are hunting your breakfast.”

Taemin pressed his forehead between Jongin’s shoulder blades and groaned loudly.

“Nope, we are doing it.”

“Nini.”

“Don’t Nini me. It is not going to work. You don’t want your first time to be with your father around. It’s going to be hard enough.”

Taemin tightened his arms around Jongin.

“You know what a rabbit smells like. Just focus your senses to track that smell. You can also listen for a very fast heartbeat. When you have found one, it’s all about speed. Catch it with your fangs and break its neck quickly so the poor animal doesn’t suffer unnecessarily.”

Jongin freed himself from the vice-like hug and looked at Taemin expectantly. 

“You aren’t going to let me off the hook, are you?” Taemin asked.

“No, I wish we didn’t have to though.”

Taemin nodded and then changed back into his wolf. Of course, he knew he had to learn how to hunt. It was unimaginable for an alpha not to do it. He was also very hungry by now.

They padded through the forest for some time before Taemin caught a familiar scent. He stopped reluctantly, but a nudge into his flank made him follow. It was almost too easy. Jongin had been right. It was all about the speed. His teeth closed around the neck of the poor rabbit gently in no time. He felt the frantic heartbeat of it, and in the end, he couldn’t do it. 

He transformed back and hugged it to his chest.

“No, no, don’t hug it. That will only make it harder,” Jongin said and kneeled next to him.

“It’s so scared.”

“I know,” Jongin tried to soothe him, “it gets easier with time. The first time I did it, I vomited after.”

Taemin buried his face in the soft fur.

“Okay fine, give it here.”

Taemin quickly twisted around and set it free. The bobbing white tail disappeared immediately. Jongin looked at where the rabbit had disappeared for a long time. Taemin could smell a lot of mixed emotions on his friend.

In the end, the other sighed deeply.

“Except for the last part, you are a natural-born hunter. You are fast and agile, and you can quickly predict where the animal moves next. We don’t have to worry about that.”

“I am sorry. I just…” Taemin helplessly shrugged his shoulders.

“We are wolves. We have to eat meat,” Jongin reminded him gently. Taemin buried his face in his hands.

“I know.”

“Okay, it was not a bad start. For now, I will go and catch something for us. Collect some wood in the meantime.”

“Thanks.”

Jongin nodded and ran off.

Taemin quickly collected the wood. He followed the scent of nearby water and set up their fire next to the creek. He didn’t have the stones he usually used for making fire on him, but he figured Jongin would have his. The other came back in no time with the rabbit already skinned. 

Jongin made him put it on a stick as he lightened their fire with practised ease. Taemin grimaced at the blood on his fingers and quickly went to wash them in the creek after ramming the stick into the soft ground. 

His stomach growled when the rabbit started to smell delicious as it was cooking over the fire.

“When did you last eat. You smell like you are starving,” Jongin asked and gave him some of the meat when it was done.

“I don’t remember. The day before yesterday? I didn’t have an appetite when we came back yesterday.”

“You are hopeless.”

“I was stressed out.”

Jongin huffed.

They ate in silence and Taemin felt pleasantly full after they were done. They put the fire out quickly as it was summer and quite warm.

They doze a bit to digest their food. As Taemin looked up at the leaves above them, he wondered about how different it was when he was alone with Jongin in the forest. Here he didn’t feel oppressed. Not claustrophobic nor like he couldn’t even breath. He was still an alpha, but it simply didn’t matter to Jongin. The other treated him like he had since they had become friends.

“So, wanna fight with me?” Jongin eventually said. 

Taemin groaned but got on his feet. He couldn’t fight Jongin every step on the way when the other was only trying to help him.

“Let’s fight in our human forms first. How would you attack me?”

Taemin’s first impulse was to say ‘not at all’, but that wouldn’t be helpful. Instead, he lunged at Jongin without giving an answer. He got the other to take a surprised step back, but Jongin quickly regained his footing, twisted Taemin’s arm and pressed him against the next best tree.

“A surprise attack is a good idea, but you should aim for something more specific when you attack me. You should have a plan in mind. Let me show you some things.”

Jongin showed him how to twist someone’s arm on their back, where to aim his elbow and how to break free from several grips. When he understood some of the basics and after he applied the moves to Jongin several times in practice, they started to fight again.

Taemin wasn’t sure what was worse. The fact that Jongin won each and every fight with ease and he was getting frustrated with his incompetence or the fact that he was getting turned on every time Jongin pinned him down. It made him feel stupid all around.

“Your scent is a real problem,” Jongin said as they stood panting from exhaustion opposite each other.

“I smell aroused?” It was not like he really needed to ask.

“Very.”

“Well, I know you wouldn’t just break my bones. In a real fight, I probably worry about other things.”

“Let’s seriously hope so. Otherwise, they will figure your kink out in no time. I think that is enough for today, though. We can continue tomorrow.”

“My father will probably insist that I join the hunts for the pack.”

“We’ll make it work.”

“Somehow.”

“Somehow,” Jongin agreed.

They stayed a bit longer in the forest but eventually returned. Walking around the camp was awkward for Taemin as he was expected to growl. He could see that some of the other alphas looked at him with suspicion, but so far no one approached him. It had probably more to do with the fact who his father was than the growling Taemin forced himself to do. 

*

Taemin had been right.

“Don’t go hiding in the forest anymore! You are joining the collective hunt tomorrow,” his father growled as a greeting. 

When Taemin woke up the next morning he was greeted by drizzling rain. Maybe he could use it as an excuse when he didn’t catch anything?

The hunting party was bigger than he had expected. Taemin felt almost all eyes on him, but he walked with his head held high and stopped next to Jongin. 

“Is the group always that big?” He whispered.

“No, usually not.” Jongin looked at him meaningfully and Taemin tried not to show his displeasure on his face. So, they wanted to see how the new alpha was doing.

The pack leader watched over them and then gave his second in command, Taemin’s father, a nod as a sign to depart. 

They all transformed into wolves and took off. To Taemin’s surprise, the other wolves fell behind one after another, and only Jongin kept pace at his side. They picked up the trail of a deer. Taemin cornered it against a rock wall and Jongin ended its life. 

They were scarily effective together. They brought one prey after another back to the camp and he saw something like disbelieve in his father’s eyes. It felt good to see something else than disappointment for once even if it was not acknowledgement. 

They soon had enough meat for the pack and the hunt ended early.

“Tomorrow again.” Taemin’s father said before leaving. 

Taemin looked at Jongin in disbelief. How had everything gone so well?

“As I said, it’s all about the speed,” Jongin said and grinned crookedly at him. 

They got lunch and then returned to the forest to improve Taemin’s fighting.

They got into a sort of routine. In the morning, they would go hunt with the rest of the pack and in the afternoon Jongin would show him how to build traps and how to fight. 

The fighting was the hardest. Taemin did not win even one fight against Jongin despite the long hours they put in. The other reassured him that he could read him like a book and it might be much harder for someone else to beat him, but Taemin was starting to think it was impossible to catch up with so much experience. 

Then, one morning the inevitable happened. They should have realised that their success at hunting would draw attention and that the other alphas did not enjoy being showed up by the pure number of their preys. It must have hurt their pride to be shown up by a freshly presented alpha and an unpresented wolf who ranked below them.

Jongin and Taemin had just successfully hunted a boar when a loud growl caught their attention.

“How dare a cub steals an alpha’s game.” Taemin’s father roared. The older man and three other alphas stood around them. Immediately, Jongin jumped back from the boar in front of his paws and transformed into his human form. Taemin changed back as well. If they let on that Jongin had killed all of their prey, they were both screwed.

“What are you waiting for? Put him in his place.“ His father growled, “He showed you up.“

Taemin felt dread crawl up his spin. He had dreaded for this moment to come since he had become an alpha.

Jongin lowered his eyes to the ground. It was Taemin’s sign to start. They had agreed on that, but it didn’t make him feel any better. He swallowed the bile down and growled.

“Louder!“ His father demanded.

Taemin took the fighting stance Jongin had taught him and growled deep from his chest. He crowded closer and bared his teeth as he growled as loud as he could. A shiver wracked Jongin’s body and his shoulders pulled up at the threat.

In the next moment, Jongin dropped down to his knees and tipped his head to the side to bare his throat in submission. A tremor kept shaking his body. Taemin felt ready to vomit at the sight. 

“The hunt continues,“ his father drawled unconcerned as if he had not just crushed them.

Taemin could see that Jongin kept his eyes firmly on the ground for the rest of the hunt. When they were done for the day, his father held him back to oversee the distribution of the meat and he had to watch Jongin slink away. 

The second he was free, he followed Jongin’s scent. Since he had become an alpha, it stood out like no other. It was also thick with distress. If he was not mistaken, there was also a saltiness to the scent that spoke of tears.

Taemin found him at their creek. 

Jongin was curled on his side into a tight ball. His whole body was shaking. Taemin rushed over and pulled the bulk of him into his lap. He draped his upper body over his friend and hugged him tightly. 

“I didn’t mean it.“

“I never wanted to force you like this.“

“It won’t change us.“

“It’s not real.“

Taemin kept mumbling into Jongin’s skin till the other eventually stopped shaking as badly.

“I know,“ Jongin’s voice sounded choked, “I know you didn’t mean it.“

“I am so sorry.“

“When I imagined it, I just didn’t expect it to feel this terrible,“ Jongin mumbled. Taemin petted his hair gently. He hated the pain he could smell mingled with Jongin’s scent. It was all so terribly wrong.

When Jongin lifted his head, Taemin winced at the tear tracks on his cheeks. He wiped them off carefully with gentle fingers. 

“I will never do it again.“

“You might have to,“ Jongin warned.

“No.“

“Yes, and you know it.“

Taemin wanted to tear his hair out in frustration. He looked at Jongin and his tear-stained face. How could this possibly be right?

“You only ever helped me.”

Jongin sniffled and wiped at the new tears leaking out of his eyes.

“I knew that what we were doing could get us in trouble.”

“It shouldn’t have. We contribute so much to keeping the pack fed,” Taemin said and raked his hand through Jongin’s hair gently.

Jongin nodded, but his scent was still heavy and Taemin knew it had a lot to do with it having been him and how different their relationship was compared to the expected pack dynamics.

Determined, he slackened his body and tipped his head to the side in an unmistakable gesture. Immediately, a warm hand covered his bare neck.

„Stop it. That’s not what I want, idiot. Just cuddle the living daylights out of me.“

„I can do that, too.“ Taemin leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Jongin’s cheekbone as he wound his arms around his torso. He kissed over his wet cheeks, his fluttering eyelashes, his temple, his jaw and finally his lips. Gently, he caressed over the other’s wide shoulders, sought out the tension and massaged it away with nimble fingers. When he felt the muscles soften, he moved on to the arms and then to the lower back. He soothed and caressed every millimetre he could reach. He tried to nudge even more of Jongin into his lap, but it only worked to an extent and the other had to hunch a little. 

All the while, their lips moved gently and slowly together. When there was no tension felt in the other, they hugged so tightly it almost felt like they tried to melt into each others’ body. Taemin marvelled not for the first time at how Jongin could in one moment be a cool and efficient hunter, and in the next, turn into the softest teddybear. It defied all logic but made the other only more likeable in his eyes.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked softly.

Jongin nodded and this time his scent was much calmer, too. Taemin made sure they stayed like this though, even though his legs were starting to feel numb. When he could feel Jongin become even heavier against his upper body, he checked to see that the other had fallen asleep.

It took considerable effort to move both of them slightly to the left without jostling Jongin too badly, but he had a big root behind him and wanted them to lie down. Breathing hard from the exhaustion, Taemin carefully leaned back till he was flat on his back. Jongin adjusted in his sleep till he could nudge his head under Taemin’s chin. It felt like he had an oversized puppy on top of him and Taemin felt himself relax, too. 

He never wanted to force Jongin to submit ever again. The first step to ensure that would be to learn how to make his own kill. It was only the last step he had to master. He draped his arm over his face and bit his bottom lip hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	4. Safe haven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. My upload schedule got turned on its head thanks to my university. I don't know why all my lecturers thought it would be a good idea to give us so much work right before Christmas. If they tried to give us a burnout, they got close. 
> 
> Anyway, I got everything done and hope to upload more regularly again. The chapter is a longer one, so I hope you will enjoy it. 
> 
> A bit of an important note: There will be a short hunting scene. If blood makes you queasy, you can skip the part. It is marked with #. It is a short part because stuff like that makes me queasy myself, but it ended up being a part of the plot.
> 
> Now, I will go and sleep~

Taemin ruefully watched his best friend sleep. There couldn’t be a repetition of today ever again. The image of Jongin’s shaking body was etched into the back of Taemin’s mind and it made his chest feel heavy and tight in a way that had nothing to do with the body lying on top of him. He knew that the other would always try to be there for him, but Taemin couldn’t let him suffer for something that wasn’t his fault. Taemin was the defect alpha. So what, if he felt like an omega inside? Only his outer characteristics mattered to the pack. He would have to try harder.

When he was sure that Jongin was sleeping too deeply to wake anytime soon, Taemin shimmied out from under him. He would stay within scenting distance, so he could be back within a heartbeat when Jongin woke up. 

#

Quickly, he shifted into his wolf’s form and took off. He would try a rabbit again. A bigger animal would probably be harder, he reasoned. He picked up a scent quicker than he would like. Due to the practice he had the past weeks, his fangs closed around the neck of the rabbit quickly. The poor animal was out of it with terror. Breathing raggedly, he pressed his eyes closed tightly and snapped his jaw close. The tiny heart stopped beating and blood flooded his tongue

The metallic taste on his tongue made him retch. Taemin spat out the animal quickly and changed back. He pulled fur out of his mouth with his hands but couldn’t stop retching. He heaved and had to lean over a log as he emptied his stomach. Even after throwing up, the taste of blood clung to his gums. 

#

Taemin looked around for something to put into his mouth to get rid of the taste, but there was nothing. He buried his face in his arms and tried to breathe through the retching.

A hand pulled him up by his shoulder and another held a folded leaf with water to his lips. Taemin drank greedily. 

The water helped.

“Weren’t you sleeping?” He rasped.

“I woke up and knew something was wrong. I probably smelled you subconsciously,” Jongin said and shrugged. The other pulled a few berries out of his pocket and shoved them into Taemin’s mouth. The sweet-sour taste of the fruits dispelled the rest of the lingering taste.

“You honestly have to stop doing this,” Jongin said as he first picked up the rabbit and then pulled Taemin to his feet.

“What do you mean?”

“Going off alone instead of asking for help.”

“But that’s just it. I never do things by myself. With you by my side, I will never do the things I have to do because I know you will let me get away with it and instead do it for me. If I keep doing that, I will get you punished for things that are not your fault.”

Jongin remained silent for a long moment as they walked back towards the creek.

“I understand what you are saying, but I think you are not seeing how much you have grown in the past weeks. Before you presented, you never hunted, never built any traps and had no idea how to fight. You have started looking the other alphas’ in the eyes, you growl at them to keep them at a respectful distance and work hard every day to fulfil expectations that go against your instincts. Most of the wolves we went hunting with today, learned in years what you mastered in weeks.”

“Yes, but only because you are there.”

“I don’t know whether I should kiss you for one of the sweetest compliments you have ever given me, or whether I should give you a good shake because, after ages of being friends, you still don’t seem to realise that’s what friends do.”

“Lately, I feel I am the only one receiving help.”

“Yeah, well, be prepared to have a mess on your hands after I present,” Jongin said pointedly.

“If someone like me can be an alpha, you are going to be one, too,“ Taemin tried to reassure. 

Jongin tiredly massaged his eyes.

“Who knows, I might even be an omega,“ the other joked half-heartedly.

“Then, I would ask you to mate with me.“

Jongin looked at him surprised.

“As an alpha, I get to choose my mate. We could be our true selves with each other. It would be no one’s business how we work together and whether we fulfil our roles properly .“

“That actually sounds nice,“ Jongin mused. They had reached the creek again. They sat down and dangled their feet in the cold water.

“No abusive relationships, instead mutual respect and a functioning family.“

“Don’t talk about paradise,“ Jongin mumbled and slumped down enough to manoeuvre his head on Taemin’s shoulder. Taemin buried his nose in the crown of Jongin’s head and breathed in the other’s scent. Now that he thought about it, Jongin was the only person he could imagine mating by choice. He knew the matches were usually arranged by the parents to strengthen the position in the pack or to better it. He had never heard of two alphas mating though…

“Tomorrow during the hunt, we do it like we always have. We just need to pay more attention to our surroundings and whether we are alone.”

“I did it just now,” Taemin argued.

“Yes, but you throwing up because of blood will draw much more unwanted attention to us,” Jongin said pointedly. Taemin groaned.

“I don’t ever want a repetition of today.”

“Neither do I,” Jongin said in a low voice that showed his apprehension, “We will just have to be more careful.”

“Right.”

“Come on, let’s cook the rabbit.”

“I am not sure I can eat it,” Taemin admitted.

“You are half-wolf. You can’t become a vegetarian. Remember, you love meat more than anything.”

Taemin sighed, but he helped prepare their fire. He could tell that Jongin tried hard to be his usual self, but Taemin could tell that he was still shaken up from earlier today. He draped himself over Jongin’s back as the other used his stones to start their fire. 

“You are trying to be extra clingy,” Jongin said pointedly.

“Do you like it?” Taemin asked curiously and moved a bit up Jongin’s back to see the side of his face.

“The Lee Taemin that never clings to anyone, clings on to my back. I am honoured,” the other teased, but there was a smile on his lips.

Taemin huffed and pinched Jongin’s side. Jongin grunted but didn’t move despite being done with the fire and the rabbit. Taemin took it as his sign to stay on as a sort of human blanket.

They only moved when the food was done.

The rabbit smelled delicious like always when it was cooked, but he still had to force himself to eat it. The way it had died was still too vivid in his mind. In theory, it didn’t matter who killed it. The animal suffered either way. Maybe he was being childish. 

*

The next day, Taemin felt nervous energy in his body shortly before the hunt. He could feel that Jongin was antsy as well. He felt eyes on them and when he looked up, he locked eyes with his father. Was that a smile curled around the corner of his mouth? Did he enjoy their discomfort? Had he only waited for a chance to make Taemin go against Jongin? A shudder ran down Taemin’s spin. He had not thought of it like that yesterday as he had been too concerned over Jongin, but now he was sure it was true. It had always angered his father that Taemin listened to Jongin more than to him. Feeling angry and rebellious, he stepped closer to Jongin and placed a gentle hand on his upper arm while holding the eye contact with his father. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Jongin’s head whip around in surprise, but his friend didn’t shake his touch off. His father clenched his jaw, and the smile was gone. Innocently, Taemin turned his head away and looked at Jongin. The other arched his eyebrow.

“Just making my position clear,” Taemin whispered.

“Do you think that is smart?”

“An alpha shouldn’t cower.” 

Jongin looked at Taemin with unreadable eyes before reaching out and fleetingly touching his hand. 

Taemin grinned back in response. 

The hunt went well. They ran faster than the rest and made sure to keep their distance when they made their kill. The additional attention they paid to their surroundings made them slightly slower, but they still brought back enough meat to end the hunt early and Taemin was confident that they could do it. 

Later in the evening, Taemin won his first fight against Jongin. In a sense.  
It was a bittersweet victory because it would never work on anyone else. Instead of attacking, he had thrown his weight against the other’s torso and hugged Jongin against a tree. The other let his head fall against the bark as he surrendered immediately and instead hugged him back. 

“It’s always good to know your enemy. How can I attack you when you hug me?” Jongin said as he nuzzled his nose into Taemin’s hair. 

“You are too good of a fighter.”

“It’s all about practice.”

“And body mass.”

“Partly, yes. I am sorry.”

Taemin only shook his head as he buried his face in the other’s neck. It wasn’t Jongin’s fault that he couldn’t keep the other down even if he managed to get on top.

“Your next rut is coming up, isn’t it? Your scent is changing,“ Jongin said while sniffing him.

“Don’t remind me.“ Taemin couldn’t wait for the time when he only had a rut once a year.

“If your father brings you a beta to spend your rut with, don’t let them get on top of you,“ Jongin reminded him seriously.

“I don’t want to use a beta for my rut.“ Taemin disliked the whole concept of it.

“Well, your father is hardly going to get me to help you out, is he? He can’t stand me.“

“When he made me growl at you, I think he attempted to create a crack in our bond. You are the only reason I ever opposed him. He knows he can’t control me fully with you there.”

Jongin nodded thoughtfully.

“So, that’s what was going on this morning. If we had a different kind of relationship, he might have been more successful.”

“Maybe,” Taemin said and shuddered at the thought. 

“Anyway, get some oil from the kitchen for tonight, but make sure you are alone. That is if you don’t want to come and get me?” 

Taemin looked up to meet Jongin’s questioning gaze.

“Do you want me to get you?”

“Only if you want me to be there.”

Taemin didn’t have to think long.

“Let’s meet here tonight. What’s the oil for, though?”

Jongin looked at him pointedly, but Taemin could only look back quizzically.

“Oil is a better replacement for slick then spit.”

“Oh! Okay, I get it.” Would they…?

He sneaked a look up at Jongin through his lashes.

“What?” The other asked suspiciously.

Taemin bit his bottom lip.

“Will we…?” he let the question hang and lowered his face when he felt his cheeks feel embarrassingly hot. What was he even embarrassed about? He had humped at Jongin shamelessly during his last rut. 

Jongin tipped his head back up to search his face.

“Are we talking about what I think we are talking about?” The other asked after taking in his expression.

“You are not making me say it, are you?”

“Well yes, because consent is very important. To me at least. ”

Taemin groaned.

“I am asking whether we will have sex. You know what kind I mean.”

“Do I?” Jongin asked innocently. Too innocently, and Taemin looked at the other sharply.

“Sadist.”

A smile tugged at Jongin’s lips before the other turned serious.

“If you want to try it, we can try. We will see what you and your wolf want tonight. Maybe it is feeling more dominant tonight. Who knows.”

Taemin nodded in agreement, although he was pretty sure his wolf would be up to it.

Taemin felt like an over-excited young puppy as he sat in his room and watched the sky get darker. His fingers nervously played with the bottle of oil in his pocket. Time was passing at a snail's pace, but he had to wait till it was dark enough to sneak out undetected. He was also feeling the beginning of his rut. Again, his fingers jiggled the bottle.

Maybe, he could speed things up by loosening himself up? Taemin made sure his door was completely closed and then got down on his hands and knees. It felt a bit awkward to push his trousers over his bum and reach his slick fingers towards his butt, and he realised he had never touched himself without Jongin there. It was a bit of an awkward angle, but the relief was instantaneous when his finger breached his hole. Quickly, he stuffed some furs into his mouth to keep quiet. There was a slight burn as he stretched his hole, but it was still hard to go slow. He knew Jongin would be able to tell if he hurt himself, though. Getting berated was not what he wanted tonight. They had better things to do, so he took care to go at a moderate pace. 

Taemin breathed deeply as he tried to keep even his sighs in. It felt so good. He moved and wriggled his finger and tried to reach the spot that had made him feel so good, but he couldn’t quite get there. Frustrated, he carefully added more oil to his fingers and pressed in another one. He choked on his moan despite the burn. His cock had to be hard and leaking between his legs but checking meant pulling out his fingers and that was not an option. Yes, there was that burn and stretch, but it only seemed to intensify his pleasure. He gently and slowly fucked himself and wished his fingers were slightly longer and thicker. Closing his eyes, he imagined they were Jongin’s. He shuddered. He could almost imagine the other’s fingers holding his hip still. Pleasure pooled low in his belly and he sped up the movement of his fingers. He pressed his face into his furs and lowered his hips as well to get some friction. As silent as possible, he shuddered through his orgasm. Breathing heavily, he came down. He could still feel his rut clawing at his insides, but its edge was slightly dulled. On shaky legs, he cleaned himself up, put on clean clothes, took the oil and crawled out of his window. He was done waiting.

Jongin was already there when Taemin stumbled into the small clearing. 

“Had fun?” Jongin asked with a grin. Taemin flung himself at the other and pressed their lips together. 

“Not nearly enough,” he said before licking into Jongin’s mouth. The itch he had dulled slightly, immediately flared hot again and he pressed their bodies flush together. He groaned when he felt Jongin’s hardening erection press against him above his pubic bone. Jongin’s tongue playfully wrestled with his and Taemin felt hot all over. Impatiently, he reached under the other’s shirt and greedily moved his fingers over the other’s abs, sides and pecs. With a frustrated noise, he pulled out of their kiss to wrestle Jongin out of his shirt. He attacked the uncovered skin vigorously with his lips. Experimentally he sucked on the skin under Jongin’s collarbone and watched a red spot form after he pulled back. He was tempted to suck a hickey on the side of the other’s neck, but that was the place mating marks were placed. That seemed too taboo even for them. Instead, he moved lower and licked over a nipple. He blew cold air over it, and then carefully, scratched his teeth over it. Jongin shuddered and buried his fingers in Taemin’s hair with a groan and tugged. Moaning, Taemin moved on to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment. The fingers in his hair tightened deliciously. Locking eyes with Jongin, he licked down a line his torso, dipped his tongue into his belly button and then stopped to tongue the spot where he was halted by Jongin’s trousers.

“If you don’t want me to blow my load early, you have to stop and give me a break.” Jongin’s voice sounded pressed and strained. Taemin hummed but came back up. Now that he had stopped, he noticed that he had the other backed into a tree.

“Sorry, I got a bit over-excited.”

“No need to apologise. It’s hot.”

“I brought the oil.”

“You are still sure you want it?”

“Don’t make me beg you to fuck me or climb you like a tree.”

Jongin snorted a laugh.

“Could be interesting.”

Impatiently, Taemin tugged at Jongin’s trousers. 

“Okay, okay, just tell me how you want it.”

Taemin had not thought about the logistics much. He knew a lot of wolfs did it on their knees, but he wouldn’t be able to see what was going on like that and as much as he wanted to do this, he was also a bit intimidated by it.

“Face to face?”

“Yeah, I’d prefer that, too.”

Jongin pecked his lips and then pulled his shirt up. Taemin quickly lifted his arms to help. After taking the oil out of Taemin’s pocket, they took each other’s trousers off and Jongin pulled them down to the ground. The other lay down on his back and encouraged Taemin to lie down on top of him with his legs on either side of him. They went back to kissing and Taemin hummed satisfied when Jongin started to knead his butt. A slippery finger massaged over his hole and Jongin made a surprised noise when it sunk in easily.

“You can start with two,” Taemin panted. Jongin huffed but still tried out how easily he could move his finger.

“Yeah, okay.”

Jongin’s fingers were bigger than his and Taemin had to arch his back when the two digits slowly pressed in past his ring of muscles and then halted. The other petted his back gently and leaned up to reach his lips. They kissed slower than before, in almost the same rhythm as Jongin’s fingers moved. Taemin relaxed and leaned more into it. He sighed when the pleasure came back with full force. Jongin wiggled his fingers and then made a come-hither motion that had Taemin see stars.

“Nnng.”

“I’ve got you,” Jongin soothed as he kept stimulating that spot inside him.

Before he knew it, he was riding the other’s fingers and begging for more. He felt hot and the pleasure built steadily with each movement inside him. The third finger was easier than the second. He now knew that it was easier if he leaned into it and let his body go completely pliant. He panted more against the other’s lips than that he was kissing him. He quickly gave up on the action altogether and instead sucked in the scent that came from Jongin’s neck. He felt drunk on it and it felt like it filled his lungs to the brim. It was so strong and gentle, tantalising and sexy, and just so Jongin that it almost made him dizzy.

He tried to spread his legs as far as they could go to get Jongin even deeper.

“Oh god, Taemin,” Jongin groaned as he noticed what he was doing. The hand on his back moved lower and helped spread his buttocks further and Taemin whimpered when Jongin reached even deeper into him. It felt so good.

“I think I am ready?” Taemin was scared he would come again soon if they didn’t move this along.

“Do you want to ride me?” Jongin asked him as he pulled his fingers out. “You could control the speed like that. And the depth.”

“My legs feel like jelly though.” Never mind, that he was a bit uncertain about how to do it.

“Mh, okay,” Jongin said and carefully flipped them. The other balled up some of their clothing and placed it under Taemin’s hips. Jongin’s erection looked a lot more intimidating with the prospect of what they were about to do. There wasn’t much Taemin could use as a reference, but it looked thick and long to him. Taemin wrapped his arms around the other’s neck after he was done using the oil on himself to have him as close as possible.

“Nervous?”

“A bit. I am not built for this after all.” 

“That’s what we have the oil for. Tell me if you want to stop, though.” Jongin pushed his bangs out of his eyes gently and Taemin nodded. 

Taemin immersed himself in the kiss that got pressed into his lips as Jongin moved above him. He felt something wet and round press against his hole and made his body as pliant as possible. He gasped as the other breached him and he couldn’t stop his body from locking up. 

“Breathe,” Jongin whispered against his lips. A warm hand caressed over his body and eventually stopped at his cock to give it a few tugs. Taemin sucked in a shuddering breath. He felt an intense combination of pleasure and pain. He gasped for air as Jongin kept caressing him. When he relaxed, the pleasure overtook the pain slowly and he sighed. This was what he had been looking for. The stretch and burn were good. Overwhelming but good. Jongin felt too big, but perfect at the same time. He peeled his eyes open and saw the most intense expression he had ever seen on Jongin’s face directed at him. Taemin felt something warm and fuzzy settle in his chest and he allowed his legs to fall apart a bit more as a sign for Jongin to continue. The other rocked gently forward. They moved closer together inch by careful inch. It was a slow process. Whenever Taemin felt like he was about to be overwhelmed by the sensations, Jongin stilled. How was it even possible to let someone into one’s body and become so intimately melted together?  
An involuntary laugh bubbled out of Taemin when he felt Jongin flush against his whole body. Their bond had always been there invisible between them, but for the first time, he felt like they had made it visible with their bodies.

“Yes,” he said breathily. They felt so right. Jongin was hard and hot around and inside him. He could smell Jongin’s overwhelmed emotions mirror his perfectly.

“Move?”

“Yeah,” Jongin rasped and gave him an experimental thrust. 

Taemin shook with the pleasure of it. He felt like a fish on land gasping for breath as Jongin established a rhythm for them. They clung to each other. Jongin gasped against his lips and Taemin wished he had enough air to kiss him silly. It was like nothing he had ever experienced. He completely gave himself over to his emotions and how it made him feel. He could feel an echo of them in Jongin. This form of complete abandonment was strangely freeing. Jongin changed the angle of his thrusts and pulled Taemin’s legs up around his hips. Taemin’s fingers dug into Jongin’s shoulders helplessly. The other had found that spot inside him again that turned everything into a haze. The pleasure coiling in his abdomen quickly threatened to overwhelm him. He searched for Jongin’s gaze.

“Close.”

The other’s thrust became faster. Their mingled noises echoed loudly in the silent night. Taemin wished at the same time for this to never end and to finally find release. The other’s thrusts moved his whole body. Every cell in his body buzzed with pleasure when his orgasm hit. They both gasped and moaned as they came. Jongin’s arms shook from the effort to hold himself up and Taemin quickly wrapped his arms around his torso to pull him down before he could roll off him.

“One of these days, I am going to crush you,” Jongin mumbled as he nuzzled his cheek.

“Indulge me.”

“Don’t I always.”

“It’s not my fault you are the perfect teddy bear.”

“Whatever, let me pull out, though, or you will be unnecessarily sore.”

Taemin hummed and let his legs fall from Jongin’s hips. He knew Jongin secretly liked being called a teddy bear. He winced a bit when the other pulled out. Jongin reached down to massage his thigh.

“Is it okay?”

“Yeah, and definitely worth it.”

“Let’s just hope I didn’t give you a limp.”

“We can worry about that tomorrow.” Taemin felt sated and content. If he could save this moment in his pocket to take out whenever he needed it, he would. He had heard a rut could make an alpha frenzy with arousal for a whole day, but he just needed sex with Jongin once to feel at peace and like himself again.

Warm lips pressed against his and he melted into the kiss. Jongin kept it mellow and slow and as much as Taemin tried to stay conscious, he drifted off. 

Taemin woke up on top of Jongin. The other must have flipped them after he fell asleep. He directed accusing eyes at his friend, who was, surprisingly, awake already. 

“I figured it would be better to take any unnecessary weight off your butt,” Jongin caught on immediately. 

“Yes, fine.” Taemin wiggled experimentally. He still felt Jongin, but it was fine. He would be able to hide it while he walked.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel fine. I won’t give us away.” 

Jongin sighed relieved. Neither of them moved. They knew they had to get back to the camp, but Taemin felt like it got harder each time to leave the safe haven Jongin and he created when they were alone in the forest. 

“They must have left for the hunt already,” Jongin mused. Taemin followed his gaze and checked the position of the sun in the sky.

“I don’t want to move,” Taemin sighed.

“Yes, but we should get rid of any incriminating evidence in case someone finds us.”

Taemin wondered for a moment what Jongin meant, but then he remembered that there still had to be traces of the other’s cum on his thighs and insides. That got him to move. There was no way they could explain that away. 

Without needing to talk, they walked to the lake. Taemin felt Jongin’s eyes following his every step and made sure to step light-footed and without showing any discomfort. He felt a twinge, but again, he had a role to play. 

In the lake, he made sure to clean his lower body especially throughout. 

“Do I smell okay?” He asked when he was done.

Jongin leant close to sniff him. 

“It’s really hard to tell for me. I think our scents have become mingled some time ago, but I don’t think you smell more like me than usual.” 

“Okay, it must be good enough.”

They got dressed and slowly walked back to the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it.
> 
> I enjoy writing them soft like this way too much. They are still oblivious, though XD


	5. Fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the 50 kudos and the comments! I am really excited.
> 
> So, here is the next chapter. It was the hardest to write yet. I can't believe I am saying this as I have written smut in the previous one... However, I hope you like it.

Taemin still felt the satedness of a rut well-taken care off when he returned home. It was an unpleasant surprise, but not an unexpected one when Taemin entered his hut and his father was there.

“You are not spending your next rut away like that,” the other immediately said.

“I am not an omega,” Taemin tried to reason.

“Aren’t you ashamed to lower yourself like that? That kid hasn’t got any status nor has he even presented. You are already the talk of the pack as it is. A slight alpha like you hiding behind a wolf without any status? How should anyone wish to follow a person like that?”

“Jongin reached maturity a year ago. He just hasn’t presented yet. He is not a kid.”

“He is a no one. He will not further your position in the pack in any way. If you need a hole to fuck that desperately, I will get you a beta for your next rut.”

“I don’t want a beta,” Taemin said strongly.

“This has to end. You have been attached to this kid for too long. You are an adult now. There is no place for emotional childhood bonds. It is time you choose your allies based on who strengthens your position. Being my son will not be enough to become the next pack leader. Every time you are gone with that kid whether you reek of sex or not, I will assign him to be the sparring partner to the freshly presented alphas. You might not try to tear him apart, but the other alphas will. They have been dying to get their hands on him for being such a successful hunter and fighter. If I have to force you to become an adult by such methods, I will.”

Taemin stared at the other in horror. Usually, only experienced alphas trained with the young alphas or the young alphas fought under supervision. The testosterone in their blood made them unpredictably volatile. Except him. That was probably the only reason his father hadn’t forced him into the ring yet.

“That’s unfair!”

“I should have done this years ago.”

Taemin felt suffocating powerlessness choke him as he stared at his father. Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes, but they were tears of impotent anger.

“Alphas do not cry,” his father said scathingly.

Feeling strange vengefulness, Taemin let the tears run down his face to spite his father.  
“The alpha that is your son does cry.”

His father snarled. He had never backhanded Taemin before. The blow made him feel like it had been strong enough to snap his head off. Breathing through the pain, he blinked up at his father and refused to cower.

“Remember what will happen to your friend.” Growling angrily, the other left.

Blindly, Taemin turned around and stumbled to his room. The anger he had felt moments ago was gone. He just felt hollow.

*

The next morning, he didn’t know what to do. His father had only said he would put Jongin in the ring if they were gone together, but he wouldn’t put it above the man to punish his friend for just being near him for a moment. When he told Jongin, he would have to have a speech prepared to convince him to not endanger himself. How could he convince Jongin of that? The other could be terribly stubborn and tended to disregard the threats from Taemin‘s father. They had done so for years. However, this time it was different and Taemin was scared. It was one thing for his father to threaten his son, but a completely different matter when he threatened Jongin. He needed Taemin, but Jongin had always been someone he considered expendable. That was the real danger.

Whatever Taemin did, he would have to protect Jongin first and for that, he needed more time to think.

He felt like a coward when he made sure to be just in time for the hunt so that there was no time for private conversations. Jongin sent him a confused look just as their signal came to take off.

Jongin stayed at his side during the hunt as Taemin had no way of preventing that, but their dynamic was off. Taemin couldn’t focus and their prey escaped more than once. The wolf next to him panted heavily after they had lost another deer and Taemin felt eyes bore into him. Without acknowledging Jongin’s unspoken questions, he took off again. The hunt took much longer than Taemin ever remembered it being.

The other alphas gloated at being better than them and sent them dirty looks.

A hand wrapped around his upper arm and turned him slightly.

“What…”

“Taemin, help distribute the meat,” his father called.

Reluctantly, Jongin let go of him. The other looked deeply into his eyes and Taemin knew what he wanted to communicate. He wanted to meet in the forest when he was done.

Without answering, Taemin went to his father’s side.

He crinkled his nose at the smell of blood but otherwise tried to hide his expression. He didn’t want to give his father any kind of satisfaction if he could help it. His inside felt like they had been wrung into whichever direction possible. The sun was already low in the sky.

He knew he owned Jongin an explanation but meeting him in the forest was out of the question. No, of course not. His father wouldn’t mind making a warning example.

“I see you understood,” his father sniffed him before Taemin left as if he was searching for fresh traces of Jongin.

He didn’t answer. It felt like the ultimate betrayal to turn towards the hut instead of the forest.

*

The following morning, he could feel Jongin’s tumultuous emotions before he could see him. He was cutting it close again and they had no time to talk. It wasn’t a talk he wanted to have with the other alphas around, but he also couldn’t be alone with Jongin. He knew his father scented him every morning, after the hunt, and every evening without fail. It was a constant reminder of the danger they were in and put Taemin on edge throughout the day.  
They did even worse than before. They might as well have not joined the hunt at all. All Taemin could focus on was the pain and confusion rolling off the other. The hunt took even longer, and his father held him back again. He seemed satisfied despite his son’s poor performance during the hunt.

A terrible new routine established itself. Taemin knew he had to talk to Jongin, but the longer he waited, the greater his fear of the consequences became. He had dreamt more than once of Jongin lying in the ring, bloody and unmoving. He had always been frozen to the spot till he woke up and had been unable to check whether the other was severely hurt or… worse.

Every day, Taemin expected Jongin to stop coming to the hunt. Since he had not yet presented, he didn’t have to be there, but the other came. His gaze hard and his mouth set in a thin line.

They were hunting a deer when Taemin noticed Jongin had suddenly changed course. Confused, he lost track of the scent of their prey. His shoulders tensed alarmed as he predicted Jongin’s direction.

The other had a new prey, he was hunting him. His instincts chose flight over fight.

Startled, he ran as fast as he could. They had always been almost equally fast despite their different sizes. He could feel that Jongin was hot on his trail. With pounding paws, they ran through the forest they knew so well. It was only a question of who tired first.

They had almost reached the border when Taemin tumbled to the floor. A heavy body had jumped on top of his and pressed him down. Fangs pressed into the softness of his neck and forced him to lie still.

He whimpered. For the first time, he felt vulnerable in Jongin’s presence. The other transformed and moved quickly to still have a good grip on him in his human form without threatening his neck.

“Transform.”

Taemin whimpered again.

“Transform, Taemin.” Jongin was clearly not going to let him avoid the confrontation.

Giving in, he transformed. Jongin slackened his grip slightly, but Taemin made no move to shake him off. He had no speech ready. No plan on how to protect Jongin.

“Talk to me,” Jongin growled.

Taemin had never seen Jongin this angry. It didn’t compare at all to the time he had disappeared into the forest after he presented.

“I am sorry,” he whispered

“Sorry? You are sorry? What the hell! What is going on here? So all of a sudden, we are not best friends anymore? You can’t even talk to me anymore. You just become completely silent. You ignore me. You are suddenly following your father’s every order? What happened? If I did something, I want to know what. Was it the sex? Could your wolf not live with what we did? Does it detest me now? Is that’s what happened? Can it not stand the wolf that violated its nature? I can smell every second of the day that you are in constant agony.”

Taemin felt his heart freeze when he realised what conclusion Jongin had drawn.

“No! That’s not it.”

“It’s not?” Jongin asked emotionlessly.

Now, Taemin wiggled up so they were almost facing. He couldn‘t leave Jongin in the belief he had violated his wolf.

“My wolf misses you.”

Jongin looked unconvinced.

“I know you have no control over how your wolf feels. I just desperately need some kind of closure.”

The word ‘closure’ almost made it impossible for Taemin to breathe. He shook his head. They had never had a misunderstanding of such magnitude. Then again, Taemin tended to tell Jongin everything.

“I know the timing is bad, but what we did during my last rut is precious to me.”

“Then please explain to me what is happening because I don’t understand.” Jongin sounded choked and Taemin reached up to caress his face. The other turned his face away slightly and that hurt more than any feeling he had experienced since he had distanced himself.

“My father has decided to finally keep us apart,” Taemin revealed finally.

“So what? You just turned your belly up and agreed? Since when do you follow what he says?”

“Since he threatened to tear you to pieces.”

Jongin stared at him in disbelief.

“The pack leader would never allow his second to exercise violence like that.”

“He doesn’t need to do it himself. He can simply say you are a good sparring partner for the young alphas, and they will gladly do it for him.”

Jongin opened his mouth to speak but clicked it shut immediately again.

Taemin had thought he would feel relieved when he finally told Jongin what was going on, but he only felt even more powerless.

“Sick bastard,” Jongin said tonelessly. Taemin could only nod. “And I am so angry at you for keeping this from me. Can you imagine what the past week has been like for me? You avoided me to the extent that you didn’t even look at me. I thought I violated you.”

“That could never happen.”

Jongin let go of Taemin completely and sat back on his haunches.

“I thought I did. I thought you had simply left me.“ Jongin angrily scrubbed at his eyes.

“No, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well, for one talk to me!”

“I am sorry. I know I should have. I just didn’t know how to tell you that we can’t see each other anymore.”

“You can’t seriously consider letting him get his way!”

“Of course, I am! This is no joke.”

“I am not scared. I have fought against those alphas countless times.”

“Yes, when they had not presented yet. Now, they are drunk on testosterone and I bet they would love to get revenge on you for beating them as kids.”

“I am the better fighter.”

“If our positions were reversed, you’d never let me into the ring. Neither am I,” Taemin argued.

Jongin growled frustratedly. Taemin’s alpha was impressed by it, but he paid it no mind.

“You are not getting hurt because of me.”

“You hurt me much worse when you stayed away from me.”

Taemin made a pained noise in the back of his throat. He wanted to press the top of his head against Jongin’s chin to ask for forgiveness, but he still remembered the earlier rejection of his touch clearly. He had no right.

“It doesn’t kill you though,” he insisted instead.

“It’s my choice what I do. You have no right to make that decision for me.”

“Jongin please!” He begged. This was exactly the reason why he had not wanted to have this conversation with the other.

“What happened to finding a way to meet each other no matter what? So you are an alpha now and not an omega as we thought back then. He has even less of a right to keep us apart.”

“It doesn’t matter whether he has the right or not. He does as he pleases,” Taemin felt so wretched as he argued for a point he didn’t want to win.

Jongin clawed his fingers into the soft forest floor and stared at them. Taemin could feel his agitation roll off of him in waves.

“Please stop being in constant agony. I can’t think,” the other pressed out.

Taemin laughed helplessly. It was a strange and hollow sound even to his ears. It made Jongin shiver.

The other finally looked up again, reached out and pulled Taemin to him. Taemin felt a spike of anxiety as he imagined that his father would smell Jongin’s touch on him, but for the first time for the past week, he felt like he was home.

Still, he stiffened. His dreams of the past days had been too vivid.

Jongin’s arms slackened.

“You don’t want me to touch you?”

“He will smell you on me.”

Jongin tightened his arms again at that.

“You own me,” the other grumbled.

Taemin felt like crying but gave in and moulded his body to Jongin’s. He felt Jongin’s emotion calm down and in turn, his heartbeat slowed. Constantly feeling Jongin’s pain had put him on edge, too.

“Okay, let’s think about this again now that we have calmed down,” Jongin said.

“He sniffs me constantly.”

“Before we make any harsh decisions of never touching each other again, we should see how bad the consequences really are.”

“You are insane!”

“I’ve pinned you down earlier and we already hugged. What’s done is done.”

“But we haven’t touched for very long yet. If I bath, maybe…” Taemin said and tried to wrestle away again. Jongin took full advantage of his strength and weight and when Taemin almost wriggled away, he tipped them to the side and rolled on top.

Taemin thumped his head helplessly against the soft ground. Jongin pressed their foreheads together to stop him.

“Please, let me protect you this once,” Taemin begged.

“The price is too high.”

“The price is much higher if we just keep going.”

“You are my only friend. I only have my mum left. I know you have no one but me to care for you. We are not ending our friendship when it is the last thing we want,” Jongin said.

“The last thing I want is for you to get killed.”

“I won’t get killed.”

Taemin groaned. They were turning in circles.

“We could be friends without touching. If we only talked to each other at camp when we are not alone, we might get away with it.”

“You consider that still being friends?”

Taemin looked right into Jongin’s eyes. He couldn’t say it, because it would fundamentally change them.

“Thought not.”

Taemin closed his eyes in surrender. He had known from the start that he couldn’t win that fight against Jongin. He never did.

He felt Jongin relax. The other knew he had won.

There had to be a way to protect Jongin. As he felt the warmth of the other seep into him, his mind calmed and suddenly he knew how he would protect Jongin. The other would hate it and never approve of his idea, but he felt his anxiety finally settle. This was an issue between him and his father. They would settle it.

“We should return,” Jongin said after they had just breathed each other in for a while. Taemin immediately grew tense but nodded. They had no other choice anyway.

They changed back into wolfs and ran back to the camp.

Taemin’s father was waiting for them. Some other alphas were still around and distributed meat.

“Leaving in the middle of the hunt to play? It seems you both think you are better than the rest and don’t need to contribute. A young wolf shouldn’t distract an alpha from his duties.” His father looked pointedly at Jongin.

“I am sorry.” The other said and lowered his head.

“Why don’t you prove to us that you are better than the other alphas and fight them?”

Taemin clenched his jaw so hard it hurt. His father was doing it. He wasn‘t even bothering to sniff Taemin to check how close they had been.

“I don’t think I am better than anyone,” Jongin said calmly.

“Your actions say something different. If you want privileges, you need to earn them, cub.”

Taemin’s heartbeat so fast, he felt it in his throat. He stared at his father. He had never before hated someone this much.

It seemed he would have to set his plan into motion already.

The loud growling came easily to him. It was so loud it made his father jerk around to him. Jongin tensed next to him alarmed.

“You are letting a young wolf show up your own alpha son? I haven’t even won my first fight, and he already gets the right to enter the ring before presenting?” Taemin growled darkly. He used the anger he felt towards his father to make it seem like he was angry at the insult.

His father’s eyes formed to small slits. The other knew what he was doing, but there were others around. He couldn’t call Taemin out on it.

One of the other alphas watching the confrontation was part of the pack elite as well.

“It’s true. Your son hasn’t fought one fight yet. I wonder whether he might not be up to it?” The alpha also had an alpha son, but he was lower in the hierarchy than Taemin’s father. For once, the unfair pack dynamics worked in Taemin’s favour. The alpha looked Taemin up and down and a satisfied smile tugged at his lips.

Taemin could feel Jongin’s eyes burn the side of his face. The other’s expression had to be murderous, but he couldn’t focus on that now.

“As an alpha, I should have stayed on the hunt. Therefore, I should be the one fighting and not some young unpresented wolf,” Taemin argued. With each word, he could feel Jongin get more furious, but he knew the other couldn’t interfere. If Jongin called Taemin into question, it would only lead to Taemin having to prove himself more.

“My son, Chihun, would be thrilled to fight with the son of our esteemed second,” the other alpha said. Taemin’s father clenched his jaw but had no other choice than to nod since Taemin had already offered.

Entering the ring was scary. Taemin had only watched one fight as a child and quickly decided it was not his sort of fun to watch bloody fights like these.

They were never playful. They were about winning and losing as the outcome had real consequences on the pack hierarchy. Losing brought shame to the alpha, but also the immediate family. It had to be the reason why Taemin had not been forced into the ring yet. His father was not under the delusion that he could win anything.

The news must have travelled unexpectedly fast. Other members of their pack had quickly gathered. Taemin paid them no mind. He only knew that his father was behind him and Jongin was to his left.

Chihun entered the ring. The other alpha was built like a typical alpha, tall and bulky. Taemin doubted that he stood any real chance, but he was set on using everything Jongin had taught him.

His opponent lowered his centre of gravity and growled. It was his sign that he was ready. Not feeling ready at all, Taemin copied the action. Chihun came at him with full force and speed. Taemin quickly twisted to the right and avoided the attack. It turned a little into a dance. The other alpha kept attacking him and Taemin darted out of his way. He watched for an opening, but to get the other in a grip he had to get uncomfortably close and he wasn’t sure the other wouldn’t be able to simply lift him off his feet. The longer Taemin avoided him, the angrier Chihun became. It became even easier to dodge him. There was disappointed grumbling from the crowd. They seemed to want more action. Taemin didn’t care. If he managed to tire the other, he might be able to stand a chance.

Their uneven dance continued till a leg came out of nowhere and Taemin stumbled. He crashed to the ground. Quickly, he scrambled to get up, but a hard kick to the stomach left him winded on the ground. Gasping, he rolled away to avoid another kick. The other’s heavy body dropped on top of him to pin him down. A hand pressed into the small of his back and another dug painfully into his shoulder to press his body into the ground. Panic welled up in Taemin. This was nothing like when Jongin was on top of him. He could feel Chihun wanted to crush his bones. Breathing was hard, but Taemin struggled and wiggled to get any part of his body free. He freed one of his legs and managed to kick his heel at the other’s kneecap. The other jerked at the unexpected pain. It was enough for Taemin. He bucked up with all his strength and unbalanced the other enough to get out from under him.  
Their dance started anew, but Taemin was slower now. He received a punch to the jaw and the other kept aiming for his throbbing stomach. When the other landed another one on his stomach, Taemin went down. He could feel that he was out of strength. His body hurt, especially his stomach. His opponent pressed down on his neck mercilessly. Taemin choked.

“Enough,” The voice of Taemin’s father cut through the haze that had formed in Taemin’s mind due to lack of oxygen. It felt like an eternity, but the grip on his neck slackened and Taemin gasped for much-needed air. His lungs felt like they were on fire.

He wanted to get up but moving was painful. His whole body hurt, but especially his stomach and chest.

“He needs a healer.”

There was a grunt as an answer.

Taemin felt gentle hands on his body. He was carefully turned around and picked up. His eyes must have closed sometime while he couldn’t breathe. He considered opening them but decided to save his energy. He knew he was in Jongin’s arms anyway. The other’s scent was all around him.

He was laid down on furs and new hands touched his body. Involuntarily, he tensed and his whole body protested in pain. Groaning, he turned his face away.

“They did quite a number on you…” The old healer said.

“Will he be alright?”

“Yes, yes. The bruises will hurt a while and one of his lower ribs might be fractured. It looks like it is hurting him, but it will heal with time. None of his organs seem to be damaged. Come on, boy, drink this. It will help with the pain.”

His head was lifted slightly and Taemin almost choked on the bitter liquid.

“Can I stay with him?”

“You can give him his medicine. I have other things to do. Once every hour. This cream helps with the bruises.”

Taemin could feel Jongin settle close to him.

“You idiot.”

“It takes one to know one.” It was painful to speak. His voice sounded strangely raspy due to having been choked.

“Don’t you dare ever do that again.”

Taemin would have shrugged if it didn’t hurt, but Jongin could read him well enough.

“Damn it, Taemin.”

“Sleep.”

“I want to strangle you.”

“Done already.”

A pained noise came from the other. Taemin felt hair next to his pinkie and reached out to tangle his fingers in Jongin’s hair.

“Fine. I will give you hell when you are feeling better,” the other mumbled.

Taemin slept a lot. The medicine made him drowsy and Jongin was merciless when he tried to skip some doses. Messing with Jongin was the last thing he wanted to do right now. The other was still angry.

He felt a bit woozy but otherwise alright.

“Are you going to keep me here till even the last bruise is gone?”

“Apparently someone needs to protect you from yourself,” Jongin growled darkly and smeared more of the cream on his purple stomach. Taemin sighed but resigned himself to being Jongin’s captive for the time being. There were a lot worse things and he hoped it would appease the other.

“How angry are you?”

Jongin looked at him darkly.

“Right.”

“I have so much more experience fighting those wolfs. I will admit that you did incredibly well. The father of your opponent had no right to trip you like that.”

“I knew it had not been right! I should have seen it coming.”

“The pack leader has revoked the alpha’s vote in the next pack meeting for interfering in an honest fight. If you ask me, he should have been punished more.”

“I didn’t expect to win,” Taemin said with a shrug.

“No, you just expected to get beaten up for my sake.”

“My father intervened as I expected.”

“Don’t ever do it again.”

“It sucks when your friend just decides to get beaten up for your sake, doesn’t it?”

Jongin buried his face in his hands.

“I hate you so much.”

“I hate you, too,” Taemin said gently. He tried to curl towards Jongin, but that agitated his hurt rib. So instead, he massaged the other’s nape.

“You would do this again.” Jongin was not asking him a question, so Taemin did not answer.

They looked at each other warily. Taemin could almost see the wheels turning in the other’s mind. He would have to watch out what Jongin intended to do next.

The healer allowed him to recover for another day before kicking them out. Jongin stuck to his side as they left the hut.

“You should rest more.”

“I am getting claustrophobic,” Taemin said drily.

“I don’t want you to return to your hut.”

“Neither do I,” Taemin admitted and laughed. He grimaced. Laughing hurt.

“Come to mine then,” Jongin coaxed.

Taemin hummed. He hadn’t been in the other’s hut in ages. They just preferred to stay outside, but he could feel that more rest would do him good.

“Come on. You still need to get back on my good side.”

“That’s blackmail, but okay,” he agreed. If his father went after Jongin because he stayed with the other, he would go straight back to the ring till his father stopped. Every fight Taemin lost would make it less likely that he became pack leader. He had found the ultimate pressure point. He just had to watch out in case Jongin intended to interfere.

Jongin’s mother was a lovely woman. The other had inherited his softer features from her. She looked warmly at her son when they entered and offered Taemin a kind smile.

“How are you feeling? I only heard about your fight. What a cowardly way to win.”

“Much better. Jongin has been making sure I take my medicine.”

“Don’t listen to him. He needs to rest.” Jongin manoeuvred Taemin to a collection of furs on the ground and made him lie down.

“I will go insane if all I do is lie around.”

“I can smell that you are in pain every single time you breathe in.”

Taemin draped his arm over his face and sighed.

“Fine.” He gave in. Lying to Jongin had become close to impossible.

Jongin’s hut was comfortable and much homier. There weren’t any obnoxious hunting trophies on the wall. Instead, there were colourful woven pieces of cloth arranged on the walls and beautiful stones decorated the windowsills. Jongin’s mother hummed to herself as she made some food. She talked Jongin into letting her take care of Taemin’s medicine so that her son could sleep for a few hours. Jongin changed into his wolf and curled up to Taemin’s less injured side. Taemin looked at the face close to his shoulder. It pained him a bit that Jongin obviously didn’t trust him and chose to sleep close to him instead of on his own furs. However, he also knew the other had good reason to doubt him.

It almost felt like a timeout from life to Taemin. There wasn’t any part of the hut he felt uncomfortable in. Jongin stayed with him most of the time but eventually had to leave to get them food. However, even when he was alone with the other’s mother, he felt relaxed. His best friend had lost his alpha father at a very young age and his mother had been an independent omega widow since. It took him a few hours to realise why he felt so comfortable around her. It happened when she carefully applied some cream to his neck. Not once had she lowered her head and avoided looking into his eyes.

“Thank you for looking me in the eyes,” he said, and she smiled.

“I never liked being unable to read someone’s expression. It makes me feel vulnerable,” she confided. “Moreover, Jongin told me how much you hated it. It is a win-win situation.”

Taemin smiled. It was a bit bittersweet. He figured if it were anyone else’s mother, he would be quite jealous, but he was glad at least one of them had a mother like that.

They stayed longer in the hut than was strictly necessary. Taemin’s bruises had completely healed and his rib didn’t trouble him as much either anymore. He tried to move in a way to avoid agitating it, but he should be able to take walks without trouble.

That evening he returned to his own hut, Jongin followed him closely.

“Be careful,” Jongin said as they stood at the entrance.

“I try,” Taemin said and grinned.

“No, I mean it. Please, try to avoid getting hurt. If not for your own sake, do it for the sake of my sanity,” the other said seriously.

“Okay,” Taemin said and squeezed Jongin’s hand gently. With a small wave, he turned around and entered the hut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew...So, Jongin is mad. 
> 
> I felt really torn while writing this. Who do you think is right?


	6. Jongin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally time for Jongin. I am a bit early this time around, but I guess I have been writing parts of this particular chapter in my head since I started. 
> 
> I hope you like it.

Taemin felt an unusual calm when he saw his father waiting for him. For once, he wasn’t scared. His father had done his worst, but he had not won.

“So, you finally deigned to come home,” his father drawled sarcastically. 

“I had to heal after an unfair fight,” Taemin said and crossed his arms.

His father scoffed.

“Don’t kid yourself. You would have never won.”

“I suppose so. I don’t mind losing again though should you try to send Jongin into the ring again. As you keep saying, he is a young unpresented wolf. My alpha really hates being shown up like that.” Taemin said determinedly.

He could see his father clench his teeth to the extent that his tendons showed.

“A wolf like you will never become the pack leader.”

“Probably not.”

“How could my only son turn out like this?” 

“I am who I am.”

“You should be ashamed of being weak. You have nothing to be proud of.” 

“Well, good night,” he said instead of defending himself. The things he could be proud of weren’t things his father would ever consider as worthy. So why bother?

The routine of before Taemin’s father had threatened Jongin returned. They hunted in the morning for the pack and in the afternoon Jongin kept teaching him how to improve his fighting. 

Jongin was warier around him and Taemin hated it.

They hadn’t talked properly about what would happen should Taemin’s father threaten Jongin with the ring again, not yet, but they didn’t have to to know they had fundamentally different opinions on the matter. It was a first for them. Of course, Taemin could understand why his friend was upset with him, but he couldn’t give him the promise he wanted to hear either. 

There was, however, a change in attitude at camp. The other alphas were a lot less subtle in showing their distaste for him. When Jongin wasn’t with him, they tried to bump strongly enough into him to topple him off his feet. It was childish and annoyed Taemin more than that it made him angry. Only now that they had seen him in the ring and knew he didn’t have some unexpected strength, they tried to goad him into a fight. He was too nimble to lose his footing though and just sent them an unimpressed look for their ‘weak’ efforts. Should they ever throw him over, he would have to react differently. Otherwise, he would be fair game and probably get bullied mercilessly. 

“Are the other alphas picking on you?” Jongin asked as they walked to their creek.

“Nope.”

“Liar.”

“I am not. They don’t quite dare yet.”

“I saw them trying to trip you. Two against one. The cowards.”

“Exactly, as long as they act like cowards, I won’t get into a fight that only breaks my ribs.”

“I could teach them a lesson.”

“I did not keep you out of the ring for you to enter an unfair fight without any rules outside of it. They could all gang up on you and no one would call it into question. So, don’t.”

“I am still so cross about that.”

“Do we have to go through this again?”

“You never apologised for staying away from me and the stunt you pulled after,” Jongin said. Taemin looked at the other. He could smell that the other’s scent had a sour fragrance to it again. He hated how upset his friend was.

“I am sorry. I know I should have talked with you about it. You make your own decisions. I get that. I was just scared you would get hurt or worse.”

Jongin heaved a sigh.

“I was kinda hoping there would be an ‘I will never do it again’ in there.”

“I will not keep secrets like that anymore,” Taemin promised.

“But you still intend to get hurt in my place?” Jongin tried despite having to know it would get him nowhere.

They stared at each other mutely. Taemin still thought he had done the right thing given the situation. They even could see each other again.

“I should give you a good spanking for being so irresponsible towards your well-being,” Jongin said mock-seriously.

“Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose?” Taemin asked with a laugh.

“If it got your head on straight?”

Taemin backed a surprised Jongin against a tree.

“If you wanted to get your hands on my ass, you just have to say so,” he purred. There was a teasing lilt to his voice, and he hoped it would distract his friend from his constant worrying.

Jongin laughed surprised but reached around to squeeze Taemin’s butt.

“If it weren’t in the middle of the day, and therefore way too risky, I would take you up on the offer,” Jongin said and moved his hands to Taemin’s waist instead. Taemin groaned. They had not dared to stay out together at night anymore and he hated to admit it, but he wanted Jongin like that again.

*

Taemin woke to loud knocking. Disorientated, he sat up and looked into the dark.

“Minnie?” Jongin’s voice called. Jongin’s distressed and choked voice. Taemin shot up so quickly he was dizzy for a second. 

“Nini?” He reached his window and looked at Jongin in the moonlight. The other had been crying and Taemin immediately crawled out of the window to be closer.

“Wha…?” And then he smelled it. Woven into Jongin’s natural scent was the scent of a beta. His blood froze. Jongin’s greatest fear had become a reality. Gently, he took the other’s arm to guide him, but it seemed like Jongin had locked up his whole body to suppress his shaking. When he moved him, he shook uncontrollably. 

“I am here,” Taemin said soothingly. Carefully, he slung Jongin’s arm over his shoulder and guided them towards the forest. If only he were tall and strong enough to carry the other on his back. It was a slow trek, even though, Taemin could tell that the other struggled to not become dead weight at his side.

They dropped to the ground when they had reached the creek. Jongin pressed his head under Taemin’s chin and breathed heavily.

“Hold me?”

“Of course.” Taemin hugged the other tightly. He wished there were comforting words he could say that would actually mean something, but he knew Jongin had every right to be upset. Betas had no rights. They were treated as a second-class citizen whose only value was to serve alphas and omegas. 

“I am sorry.”

“What for?” Taemin asked confused. He pressed his lips to the other’s soft hair. Jongin was still shaking and he tried to show how much the other meant to him by being affectionate.

“I won’t be able to help you anymore.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not what matters right now,” Taemin said incredulously. He cradled the other’s face in his hand and gently lifted his face. Jongin wasn’t crying anymore, but the look in his eyes tore Taemin’s heart to pieces. He had never seen such hopelessness look back at him from Jongin’s eyes. His friend was the resourceful one, who always found a way out of any situation. However, what kind of way could there possibly be to change the fate of a beta? 

Gently, he kissed the other’s cheeks. Jongin leant into the touch and closed his eyes. 

“This might be the last time someone touches me like that,” the other said in a small voice.

“I will always find you.”

“You will find an omega eventually,” Jongin said and pulled his face free to press it back into Taemin’s neck.

Taemin shook his head slowly as he looked unseeingly over Jongin’s shoulder. No omega could possibly understand him enough for them to have a functional relationship. 

“No, like you said: I only have you.”

Jongin tightened his arms around him.

“I will miss you,” Jongin mumbled. The other would be brought to what was called the beta hut. As soon as a beta presented, they were brought to the collection of huts that were surrounded by a fence to one side of their camp. No one knew what happened inside, but the betas lived there till they started to serve either alphas or omegas. It wasn’t very far from Taemin’s hut.

“I will visit you,” Taemin promised as he caressed over Jongin’s back.

“They won’t let you inside.”

“No, but we can meet at the fence. I will wait at the side of the forest in the evening. It’s okay if you can’t make it. I’ll keep coming.”

Taemin locked his jaw as he felt the wetness at his neck. He felt the same powerlessness he had felt when he had presented. Only now it was Jongin and somehow that made it even worse. He knew his friend was going to suffer terribly and he wouldn’t even be allowed to be at his side the way Jongin had been at his. He tightened his arms around the other even more. He wished they could meld together then no one would be able to separate them.

“Tell me if I am hugging you to tightly.”

“You can’t,” Jongin simply said. 

The tremors travelling up the other’s spin hadn’t lessened. 

“Is there anything you would like to do tonight?” Taemin asked gently as he rested his head back on Jongin’s crown. It was hard to imagine that they might not hug anytime soon again.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Run through the forest. Dance. Skip stones like when we were kids. Whatever you want.”

Jongin hummed. They were silent for a while after that.

“Can I give you a hickey?”

Taemin frowned as he tried to make sense of that unexpected request.

“Yeah, sure,” he said. Why not?

“I mean there…” Jongin said in a small voice and pressed against Taemin’s pulse on his neck. A shiver went down Taemin’s back.

“I mean,” Jongin hurriedly said. “I was always hoping I would find a mate one day and get to see my mark on them and theirs on me. That’s not going to happen now, but I just want to pretend that…never mind,” Jongin quickly shut himself up.

Taemin felt his heart beat faster. A hickey on the neck could never serve as a mating mark, but they were not usually found on unmated wolves either. The neck was too intimate, and you had to trust the other wolf wouldn’t take advantage of an exposed neck to either mark or harm. 

“Yeah, sure,” Taemin said again. He wet his lips nervously. He knew without a doubt that Jongin wouldn’t take advantage of him, but it still felt forbidden. Excitingly forbidden.

“You sure? People will see.”

“Let them. It’s no secret that we are close. I’ll give you one, too.”

Jongin looked at him through his bangs and examined his face carefully. Taemin had no idea how he looked, but now that Jongin had planted the idea in his mind, he wanted it, too. Only time would tell when they would properly see each other again. A hickey on Jongin’s neck would show the others that he might be a beta, but he wasn’t alone. Whatever the other had seen on his face, must have been good enough.

“Okay,” Jongin said. The other sat up a bit straighter, “Let’s exchange positions.” 

Taemin nodded and moved out from under Jongin’s legs and got into the other’s lap. They were on the same eye level now. 

“You go first,” Taemin said and tipped his head to the side. Jongin licked his lips nervously and then placed a hand on the left side of Taemin’s neck to support his head. Goosebumps formed on his skin when he felt the other’s breath. Warm lips pressed against his pulse and Taemin let his eyes slip close. Excitement buzzed under his skin. The tingling sensation travelled from Jongin’s lips through his whole body and back. A noise between a keen and a moan left his mouth when Jongin started to suck at his skin. Taemin let his body grow limp and Jongin tightened his hold. 

It was a heady sensation. It sent sparks off in his body that were not unlike an orgasm. 

“Make it dark,” Taemin said when Jongin made to pull away. The other licked over the spot and went back to sucking. Taemin shuddered. It felt so good and it wasn’t even that sexual, just intimate. A comfortable warmth settled in Taemin’s body that hummed under his skin.

Jongin stopped sucking and pressed a kiss against his neck. 

“Is it that good? You smell really good.” Jongin asked as Taemin rested against him.

“It is that good. Give me a moment and I will return the favour.”

Taemin breathed deeply as he felt strangely blissed out.

When he felt like he had more than two brain cells to work with, he sat up and looked into Jongin’s fascinated eyes. 

“I’ll make this good,” he promised. 

He cradled Jongin’s neck gently and leant closer. Softly, he pressed his nose against the other’s pulse and slowly moved it up to his earlobe and then down to his collarbone. He repeated the process with his lips. 

A different kind of shudder went through Jongin. Satisfied, Taemin nibbled at the spot with his lips. Jongin became lax in his arms and he could smell how the other’s scent became less anxious. Feeling daring, he carefully scraped his canine teeth over the other’s pulse. 

“Hnng,” Jongin made and tightened his arms as if he needed to ground himself.

Taemin licked over his lips to wet them and pressed them to the spot he wanted to mark. He felt the other’s pulse beat against his lips. It was faster than normal. It called to his wolf. He often didn’t feel very connected to it, but now he felt it. It wanted to mark Jongin. Not with lips, but with teeth. He made sure to keep them away from Jongin’s skin as he did not trust his wolf.

Gently, he started to suck. The other’s skin was slightly salty, but even more importantly, Jongin tasted as he smelled. It was intoxicating to feel the other’s taste tickle his taste buds like that. He could taste on his tongue how Jongin relaxed more and more the longer he sucked. How the panic lessened and the same warmth and well-being Taemin had experienced settled in Jongin’s taste. He heightened the suction and made sure to give the hickey a deep dark colour that would make it last. 

When he was satisfied, he placed one last kiss on the spot and pulled away. Jongin rested heavily against his front.

“Good?”

Jongin only nodded.

They hugged for a long time. 

“I am surprised that mates don’t have hickeys all over their necks constantly. Does that make sense?” Jongin mumbled.

“Maybe nothing feels better than a mating mark?” Taemin speculated.

“Okay, if that is true, I’d still place hickeys on the mating mark. You know, double the fun.”

“Sounds good.”

Taemin bit his lip. Betas didn’t mate.

Sometime during the night, they stretched out to lie on their backs. Taemin waited for Jongin’s breathing to become deep and slow to indicate the other had fallen asleep. It didn’t happen.

“Are you staying up on purpose?” He asked carefully. Jongin shrugged next to him.

“I don’t want tomorrow to come.”

No matter what, they couldn’t prevent the sun from rising.

“Don’t mind me and sleep.”

Taemin scoffed to show Jongin what exactly he thought about that. 

“If you are staying up, so am I.”

Jongin huffed and rolled over so he was on top of Taemin now.

“I bet I could make you fall asleep. I have a pretty good track record.”

Taemin glared. 

“Don’t glare at me. I enjoy when you slowly drift off.”

“I am not leaving you to yourself tonight.”

Jongin accepted his answer but kept staying on top of him and Taemin relaxed a bit more without meaning to.

“Why do you like this so much? Can you describe it to me?” The other asked him curiously.

Taemin looked at Jongin as he mulled his answer over. Tonight, he would tell the other whatever he wanted to know, even if it was difficult for him to answer. He also wanted Jongin to know that he mattered.

“It’s hard to describe,” he started slowly. “The first time we woke up like this, I just thought it felt nice.” Taemin closed his eyes and tried to focus on what he was feeling. “Hugs are nice.”

“Ha, finally, you admit it.”

“Yes, yes, you were always right.”

Jongin hummed contentedly.

“I guess it also just feels safe. You are heavy, but not too heavy. You can cover me completely. No one can get to me like that. It tends to help me focus on you only rather than everything else that is happening around us.”

Jongin adjusted their bodies so he had even his legs over Taemin’s.

“I guess that’s just it. Feeling safe with my best friend.”

“So, it got to be me?”

“Obviously,” Taemin said pointedly.

“I think I can understand that. When you massage my scalp and play with my hair, it reminds me of the time when you picked up the habit. We were still boys, and everything was easier. It’s relaxing and soothing.”

Taemin reached up and sunk his fingers into the other’s hair.

Jongin hummed. 

They stayed like this and Taemin eventually had to battle against his heavy eyelids. Jongin was right. His friend knew exactly what he was doing.

“You need to get off me.”

“No.”

Taemin glared at the other in the dark.

“Fine.” He would stay awake no matter what. 

Jongin eventually rolled off him so that they could watch the rising sun colour the sky pink together. 

They had been unable to stop time.

The walk back to the camp almost felt like they were walking to their execution. Taemin tried to push his emotions down. It wouldn’t help Jongin any when he felt how wretched Taemin felt. Instead, he tried to visualise how he had felt when Jongin had sucked at his neck to fill his scent with soothing warmth.

Jongin stopped walking and looked at him suspiciously.

“Wha…Are you manipulating my emotions with your scent?”

“You noticed? Is it working?”

“Your scent just took a 180-degree turn. Of course, I noticed! And…yes, it’s nice.”

“Okay, I’ll keep at it.”

They resumed walking. Taemin reached out and pressed their palms together. Jongin wanted to let go when they reached the camp, but Taemin held on tightly. 

Alphas placed claims on omegas by touching them in front of others to tell the pack they would protect them. He wanted people to know Jongin had someone watching out for him, too. Who cared whether the person was a beta or omega? It was the one alpha-urge he could understand. 

The other wolves stared at them incredulously but mutely as Jongin lead them towards the huts for betas. 

It became harder to keep his scent soothing when they stood in front of the gate.

“I guess that’s it,” Jongin said in a small voice.

“I will be there,” Taemin said lowly and flicked his eyes towards the edge of the forest.

Jongin nodded.

“Well, well, what an unexpected addition. We all pecked you for an alpha.” The oldest beta of the pack had come out of the gate and looked at them.

Jongin only shrugged. 

“Time to say goodbye, gentleman.”

Without having to think, Taemin threw his weight at Jongin and hugged him tightly.

“See you soon,” he whispered as the other was pulled away.

He kept standing at the gate for long minutes. Somehow, he couldn’t comprehend that Jongin had simply disappeared through that gate and he wasn’t sure when he was going to see the other again. In a daze, he turned around to leave for the hunt. It would be his first without Jongin. 

What would they do to him? Taemin tried to think back to any interactions he had had with betas in the past but couldn’t think of much. He had had contact with omegas mostly when he had been taught about an omega's body and when he had visited the hut for the cubs. 

His father’s alpha ‘friends’ he had always avoided, but occasionally, he had talked to them.

But betas? He saw them walk around camp. That was all. 

Hopefully, he would be able to at least see Jongin at the fence tonight. However, if they did anything bad to him, how could he even interfere? 

“Aww, all alone? Looks like your big, strong soon-to-be alpha friend wasn’t so big and strong after all. He is just a weak beta.”  
Taemin’s head snapped up. Chihun stood together with some of his alpha friends in front of them. They all smelled excited and delighted. Overwhelming anger bubbled up in Taemin as he saw their satisfied and gloating faces.

“Weak? Is that why you stayed away from him even when you were already big, bad alphas?” Taemin pressed out between his teeth.

“He just wasn’t a worthy opponent anymore,” Chihun growled.

Taemin scoffed.

“You were just scared he would have handed your asses to you.”

“Careful, little one,” Chihun stepped right into Taemin’s personal space to tower over him. “There is no one watching your back anymore. As an alpha, you are fair game to us.”

“Four against one? It looks indeed like a fair game,” Taemin said sarcastically.

Chihun growled.

“I hope Jongin gets trained to serve alphas. I can’t wait to put him into his place while I fuck him,” Chihun said lowly for only him to hear.

It happened too fast even for Taemin to comprehend. He felt a burning hot rush shoot through his whole body and in the next moment, he had Chihun pressed to the floor and punched his nose bloody. 

Hands grabbed him and tried to pull him off, but he scratched and punched at whatever he could reach. There was a pained noise and he focused back on Chihun. The other had by now caught up with him. They rolled around in the dirt. Chihun’s grips were painful, but all Taemin could focus on was trying to hurt the other back as much as he could. 

He didn’t know how long they fought like that, but all of the sudden Taemin found himself immobile and off his feet. 

“Enough!” The pack leaders voice boomed over his head. Mortified, Taemin let his body grow slack.

His feet touched ground again and he lowered his head as he felt the anger of the pack leader wash over him in waves.

“Fights like this should be fought in the ring. You are all adults now.”

“He just lost it all of the sudden,” Chihun said and Taemin clenched his teeth.

“You are the more experienced alpha,” The leader said to Chihun before turning to Taemin, “Today being hard for you, does not excuse attacking your pack mates in a blind rage.”

“It won’t happen again,” Taemin said, even though, he was unsure how he could have stopped the sudden rush in his blood.

The pack leader only nodded and walked over to Taemin’s father who must have arrived some time ago. Taemin could not read the look in his eyes and quickly looked away again. The young alphas around him shifted and he looked up at them.

Chihun looked the worst, but the others had scratches all over their arms and one looked as if he was developing a blue eye. Taemin couldn’t believe he had done so much damage. Uncomfortable, he moved a bit further away from them. He couldn’t and wouldn’t apologise to them because of what Chihun had said he wanted to do to Jongin, but he didn’t enjoy what he did to them either.

The hunt went terribly for him. All he did was stay away from everyone else as much as possible without hunting for any prey. No one chastised him though.

Restlessly, he walked around the camp. At first, he didn’t notice it, but the other wolves kept their respectful distance. It seemed like his little fight was common knowledge. Feeling even more uncomfortable, he went to his and Jongin’s spot and simply waited for the sun to set.

*

Taemin was biting his nails as he was waiting in the dark in front of the fence like he had promised. It was getting late and he feared Jongin would be unable to come. Maybe there was an especially close watch on new betas. The other was surely alright. Right? Inwardly, he was anxious but tried to squash his fears.

How long should he wait? He decided to wait for another hour. He had promised he would be there after all.

There. His nose picked up a familiar scent that came closer. Quickly, he walked up to the fence.

“Hey, Minnie.”

Taemin closed his eyes. Jongin was there, but he called him Minnie. He was not okay.

“I am here.” He reached through the fence as far as the small gap allowed. Jongin’s hand wrapped around his.

“How are you?”

“Okay.”

“And now the truth.”

“It’s a nightmare.”

Taemin’s heart clenched.

“Tell me.”

“I guess they are trying to break our self-esteem. It makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it. We are not meant to have a free will after all.”

“What are they doing?”

“They took all the belongings we had on us. We wear the same clothes. Every order is absolute. People who rebel and don’t submit are locked away, sometimes for days. They don’t seem to hit us much, but I guess they prefer to get into our heads.”

“That’s so sick. Did they do something to you?” Jongin smelled off.

“I didn’t get any food.”

“What? Why?” 

“They can feel my inner resistance, I guess. Remember how some betas serve omegas and some alphas? We get assigned based on our physical attributes. The ones that are more like omegas later serve omegas and those like alphas become the alpha’s playthings.”

Taemin tightened his fingers around Jongin’s. He knew what that meant.

“I am too strong for their taste. I think that is their main reason for starving me. They can’t have a beta who could throw off an alpha, can they?”

“Not on my watch,” Taemin promised. He tried to pull his hand back, but Jongin held on tightly.

“Not yet,” the other whispered in a begging voice.

“No, I will be right back. I promise. I’ll get you something to eat.”

Jongin breathed in deeply and slowly let go of his fingers.

“Okay.”

Taemin changed back into his wolf to be faster even though his hut wasn’t far at all. Without checking who was there, he took some meat from the fire and raced back. He couldn’t have been gone long, but he could smell Jongin’s relief immediately.

He had to tear the meat in the middle to be able to pass it through the gap.

“Thank you. I feel like I have a hole in my stomach,” Jongin said and immediately started to eat. Taemin pressed against the fence to maybe see the other. He could only make out his silhouette in the dark.

“I’ll bring you food every day.”

“Thank you, really.”

“Don’t keep thanking me. I will do whatever I can. It’s not much to begin with.”

“No, if I am not constantly scared, they will make me starve for every little thing I do, I gain a lot of agency. It’s a lot for me.”

Taemin sighed and nodded. 

“And hearing your voice and smelling you…wait, why do I smell your blood?”

Taemin pulled a face at his stupidity. Instead of anxiously waiting for the sun to set, he could have cleaned himself up. 

“It’s nothing.”

Jongin reached through the gap and ghosted his hand over Taemin’s face.

“You got beat up. I can feel the congealed blood on your cheek and lips. Nothing. As if.”

“Actually, no. I am the one who beat someone up,” Taemin admitted. He pressed his face against Jongin’s warm hand.

There other was silent for a long moment and Taemin could smell how confused Jongin was.

“I was just all of a sudden extremely angry and jumped on Chihun. I have never felt anything like it.”

“So, you have these alpha hormones after all. You don’t smell like it anymore, though.”

“It was over quickly, and it happened in the morning.”

“What did he do?”

Taemin bit his bottom lip and had to suppress a hiss when he reopened his wound.

“Stop biting your lip and tell me.”

“You can’t even see me,” Taemin whined.

“I don’t need to. So, spill.”

“The other alphas were just all excited because now they have the pack on their side when they look down on you.”

“I don’t think that’s enough to make you snap like that.”

“Their wording wasn’t nice, and I wasn’t in a good headspace. Don’t worry about it. I will be more careful.”

“I hope Chihun looks worse than you.”

“I left marks on all four. His friends tried to pull me off.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my sweet childhood friend?” Jongin said jokingly, but Taemin still felt a heaviness in his stomach when he thought about how out of control he had been.

“Hey, they deserve to get taken down a notch.”

“I am not apologising.”

“Okay,” Jongin said and Taemin linked their fingers on his cheek. He hated fences now that he thought about it.

“What will you be doing tonight?” He asked to change the topic.

“Do some push-ups to stay in shape and then go to bed.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Yeah, but I need to stay strong. It will hold off the alphas.”

“Maybe, I have to become pack leader after all,” Taemin mused.

“I don’t think you can change deep-rooted traditions in a heartbeat.”

“I could get you out though.”

“I’ll get out eventually,” Jongin said, but it made neither of them feel better. It would still leave Jongin vulnerable.

There was a noise behind Jongin and the other pulled his hand back.

“I should go back before we get caught. Will you be there tomorrow night?”

“Of course, I will,” Taemin said. 

They stayed opposite each other for a moment longer.

“Good night,” Jongin said.

“Good night,” Taemin echoed and felt the other slip away.

If Taemin could, he would wait here till Jongin came back the next night. Resigned, he walked back in the direction of his hut. He had to hide that he was helping the other by bringing him food. That’s when he remembered that he had to hide something else, too. If he didn’t hunt anything again tomorrow, it would draw suspicion to their previous success. Taemin wasn’t sure it could have repercussions on Jongin in the beta hut, but he wouldn’t risk it. Changing his direction, he walked back into the forest. 

Whether it had been Jongin’s intention or not - he wouldn’t put it past him - but he had taught Taemin everything he needed to know. He would build traps that would take care of what he couldn’t do. 

He built them carefully and hid them with even more care. They needed to be placed in a way that an animal could enter them. At the same time, they needed to be hidden enough that someone wouldn’t accidentally find them. 

It was very late, but Taemin didn’t care. Jongin being unreachable for him also meant the other was unreachable for his father.

Feeling rebellious, he changed into his wolf and curled up on the forest floor to sleep. 

Taemin felt like he was in a strange daze throughout the day. Two animals had been in his traps. It was nowhere near as much as he used to hunt with Jongin, but the malicious joy of the other alphas simply rolled off him. Not even his father’s enraged speech, because he had stayed out all night, made much of an impact. 

His display of rage yesterday seemed to have rekindled some hope in his father that he could be somehow made into the pack leader. 

He should probably feel more concerned by his father deciding to take his fighting training into his own hands. However, Taemin knew exactly where he stood and doubted his father would be able to teach him any new techniques.

He had guessed right. His father’s fighting relied on pure force. It wasn’t helpful to Taemin at all. As he was still feeling apathetic, his father didn’t manage to goad his alpha into making an appearance either. 

For the umpteen time, he picked himself up and dusted off his thighs. 

His father glared at him angrily.

“Tomorrow again.” The other said and left.

With a sigh, Taemin returned to the forest. He built some more traps and this time made sure to take a bath, so his scent was as clean as it could be. His body was aching, but he hoped it wasn’t in his scent.  
He had caught two more rabbits in his traps from yesterday and he cocked them over an improvised fire for Jongin. It would be better if he didn’t take food from the camp. People might notice. Enough time had passed that he didn’t have to wait long till he could return to the fence.

Taemin felt the first excitement of the day as he waited. Jongin’s scent made him jump up immediately as he felt the other move closer.

“Smells delicious,” Jongin’s smooth voice said and Taemin immediately tore off pieces of meat to hand over. There was a heaviness to the other’s scent, he didn’t like.

“Did they starve you again?”

“I had breakfast, but not much,” Jongin said between bites.

Taemin growled.

“Do I bring out your wild side?” Jongin said teasingly. He could tell the other tried to lighten the mood.

“Always,” Taemin said, but his tone was not as light as he would have liked.

“Any fights today?”

Taemin hesitated. He had fought with his father, but he knew Jongin meant fights like the one he had with Chihun.

“I behaved today. I can’t be a savage every day.”

“You took a bath, though. I can smell it. So, what are you hiding? Indulge me. I am cut off from everything.”

Taemin sighed. How could he hide it from Jongin when he asked like that?

“My father is training me to fight.”

Jongin reached his hand through the fence and pulled Taemin closer by his clothes to gently move his fingers over his body and face in search of injuries.

“I am fine. My muscles are just sore from exhaustion.”

Jongin grumbled under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“Don’t take a bath tomorrow. I don’t trust that man.”

“Fine,” Taemin conceded. 

“Good.”

“What did you do today?”

“We scrubbed every place possible on our knees.”

“On your knees?” Taemin asked incredulously.

“I guess we are supposed to understand what our place is.”

“Do you need me to bring an ointment? Did you scrap them open?”

“No, it’s fine. I used a second cleaning rag to kneel on. They didn’t notice.”

“Be careful.”

“Always.” 

Taemin gave Jongin more meat.

“You brought a lot.”

“I built traps and caught them. No one will miss the meat.”

“You take care of everything.”

“We have to be careful,” Taemin said and leant against the fence. If he screwed up, Jongin would pay the consequences. 

“Yeah,” the other simply said and finished his food.

Now that they couldn’t anymore, Taemin noticed how much they always touched throughout the day. If someone had asked, he would have said he wasn’t a touchy person, but apparently, he was. He missed it. He missed Jongin.

Much too soon they had to say their goodbyes and Taemin watched Jongin go.

With a sigh, he returned to his hut.

The next day was much a repetition of the previous one with the only difference that Taemin was more careful while he trained. He had promised not to take a bath after all.

They just silently stood in front of each other after Jongin had eaten. Taemin could tell from their scents that they were equally tired. There weren’t any comforting stories he could tell Jongin and he knew Jongin probably had only worse horror stories to tell.

“Come closer?” the other asked. Taemin immediately pressed against the fence. The fence moved under the force and a small chuckle left Jongin. 

He felt the other’s presence against the wood. Jongin reached his hand through and pressed it against his chest. Adjusting himself, he moved till it pressed over his heart and reached out as well. Jongin moved till he could feel his heartbeat against his palm. Closing his eyes, he listened to the strong beat. 

Bending his neck awkwardly, the tip of his nose grazed against Jongin’s neck. Jongin sighed deeply and pressed closer. He could feel the other’s breath move his hair. Taemin focused on how comforting it felt instead of how his throat closed up because it was the closest, they had been since Jongin had entered the beta hut. 

“You will get a neck cramp.”

“Not yet.”

That Jongin didn’t fight him more on it showed Taemin just how badly they both needed to be close. He tried to store as much of the other’s scent in his lungs as possible.  
Their time was up much too quickly. 

“I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

They pulled apart slowly.

Days and eventually even weeks passed like that. Sometimes Taemin brought the other’s favourite flowers if he could find them to cheer Jongin up. When he realised how much Jongin missed the forest, he brought other small gifts like pine corns or leaves he found especially beautiful. He could smell how much it meant to the other, but he wished he could do more. 

“I feel like I am being courted,” Jongin said jokingly as he turned the smooth stone in his palm.

“It would be a very poor courting.”

“I appreciate it nevertheless.”

Taemin hummed. He was glad, but it was a poor excuse for what Jongin couldn’t have anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am not sure whether to wish you all a Merry Christmas yet or not. This time of the year tends to be awfully busy, but of course, it might be different this year. I honestly don't know. Either way, I hope you are all doing well.
> 
> (I just realised it is not nice to write so much angst just before Christmas. Sorry! We will get to the less angsty chapters after Christmas. I have bad timing...)


	7. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! 
> 
> I hope you had a nice time whether you celebrated Christmas or not. it definitely was a different experience for me this year. Are you all alright?
> 
> Also, I managed to write a new chapter. The beginning is angsty, but I promise it gets better <3

Jongin’s scent became heavier and heavier the more the weeks dragged on. 

Taemin knew it would be close to impossible to convince the other but he had to try. Things had to change.

They were standing close together at the fence as he carefully brought up the topic.

“Things can’t continue like that.”

“You don’t want to come anymore?” Jongin asked in a small voice.

“What? No!” Taemin couldn’t believe the other would jump to that conclusion immediately.

“Oh?”

“No, what I meant was that you have to get out of the beta hut.”

Jongin scoffed.

“It’s not like they’ll let me leave.”

“No, but what if…” Taemin nervously licked his lips. “I helped you break out?”

Taemin had his hand on the other’s chest and could feel how he tensed immediately.

“And then what?” Jongin asked tonelessly.

Now came the difficult part.

“You’d have to run away. They might be angry that you got away, but they wouldn’t try to chase you for long.”

“Run away without you?” Jongin asked to clarify.

“My father still thinks he might be able to make me pack leader. He’d never let me leave. If you are supposed to stand a chance…”

“No,” Jongin immediately interrupted him.

“Jongin, please,” Taemin begged.

“No!”

Taemin thunked his head against the fence.

He knew it would go like that and while he couldn’t even start to imagine what life without Jongin in the pack would be like, he saw no other option. Maybe if he begged long enough, the other would give in eventually.

So, he asked every night and every night he got the same answer.

“You won’t be here tomorrow,” Jongin eventually told him one night.

“No, of course, I will be there.”

“Your rut is coming. I can tell.” 

Taemin buried his head in his hands. How could he have forgotten?

“I should have brought more meat.”

“No, it’s fine. I would not be able to hide it. One day will not kill me. Besides, I can behave for once.”

“I will bring extra the next day, I promise.”

“Hey, I know. Relax, don’t fret.” Jongin’s hand touched his arm gently. The other was right, Taemin felt anxious and he tried to calm down. It would be fine. He pressed against the fence and bend his neck till he could touch Jongin’s collarbone. It would be his first rut without Jongin, and he would know throughout that he couldn’t be there for the other because of it. It was going to be a special kind of torture.

Saying goodbye was even harder. They lingered longer than usual, but eventually, Jongin had to leave. 

Taemin felt antsy the next day. He could feel his rut approaching and he wondered whether there was a way to sneak some food to Jongin after all. However, leaving some at the fence before it was dark could mean that someone else found it. Walking around while he was having his rut would draw too much attention to him. Was it really impossible?

In the end, he admitted defeat. He would be sure to bring some fresh bread next time. Jongin loved it and he had not dared to nick much of it. For now, he decided to get ready for his rut. He needed new oil and he intended to put a curtain in front of his window. When he had prepared everything, he sat down on his furs and waited. 

Because of the curtain in front of his window, he couldn’t even see the sky darken. Maybe he should have gone into the forest after all? He sighed. In the forest, he felt like he would miss Jongin even more. It was bad enough as it was. He could tell his wolf wanted the other there.

When he felt his body get warmer, he lay down. He would wait a bit longer. If he waited till his rut was in full swing, he hoped that he would have to pleasure himself less to get it over with. 

The beginnings of his rut felt like a warm and uncomfortable itch that crept slowly down his spine. Taemin clenched his fists as he traced the sensation with his mind. It bloomed in his abdomen and then rapidly travelled through his whole body. There was no escaping this.

When he started to feel too warm, he pushed his trousers down and kicked them off. What he hated about ruts the most was that he had to touch himself without being in the mood for it. He wasn’t in a good headspace, but at the same time, his body carved sex. It was almost a bit nauseating. 

He wrapped his fingers around his cock and gave it a few tugs. When his fingers brushed his knot, he grimaced. He still felt uncomfortable about that. Trying to avoid it, he focused more on the tip of his cock. With his other hand, he fiddled open the bottle of oil. He almost spilt it all over himself. Cursing silently, he concentrated on making his fingers slippery. Wiggling a bit, he got into a more comfortable position and pulled his legs up. 

A groan left his mouth when he pressed the first finger in. He hadn’t touched himself like that since his last rut, but his fingers sunk in easily. It felt like his body was craving this kind of touch more than he felt comfortable admitting. The first tendrils of pleasure coiled around the unpleasant heat in his body. Biting his lips, he tried to reach deeper, but his fingers were much shorter than Jongin’s. Resigned, he instead carefully wriggled in a second finger. He muffled his moan with his free hand at the stretch and slight burn. Slowly, he fucked himself. There was an impatience thrumming in his blood, but Jongin would be gentle with him, too. He spread and scissored his fingers and when he could move them easily, he tried to reach that spot. He had to curl more into himself, but eventually, the tip of his middle finger grazed the spot that made pleasure sizzled through his body. With every third thrust or so, he made sure to seek it out. Breathing deeply, he added another finger to get more girth. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine it were Jongin’s. He went as deep as his fingers would allow and speed up his thrusts. He was getting close.

Just as Taemin wished he had something with Jongin’s scent on it, the door to his room swung open. 

He froze in absolute shook, only to quickly pull his hand away, but it was too late.

His father stood in the door together with a beta.

“He is abnormal,” the beta said shocked.

Taemin saw his father’s face turn a furious red and he could smell his overwhelming rage. 

“I am done trying to make anything out of you. And here I was trying to help you out with a beta for your rut,” his father growled and stepped closer with big steps. Hurriedly, Taemin grabbed his trousers as he was pulled out of the room. He struggled furiously to put them back on before he was dragged outside. Unable to secure them, he held on to them tightly after he got them up. His father shoved the door to their hut open roughly and dragged him outside. Not many wolves were out, but as Taemin was dragged to the middle of their camp more and more came out to watch curiously why the second in command furiously pulled his son along. 

When Taemin saw the stake, he wanted to beg his father, but the scent coming off the other was unforgiving and harsh. He struggled when he was cuffed to it, but his father easily subdued him. His knees hit the ground hard as his wrists were pulled up roughly.

“I am ashamed, but as the second in command, I abide by the pack rules. It was witnessed just now by me and this beta that Taemin is abnormal. Shamefully, he displayed the behaviour of an omega during his rut. In this pack, we do not tolerate weak alphas. It endangers our survival.”

Taemin heard the words, but his brain had trouble truly comprehending what was happening right now. 

His father stepped back after his speech that condemned Taemin to be cuffed to the stake. Other alphas stepped closer and Taemin closed his eyes just in time before they spit at him. It was disgusting. He buried his face in his arms to hide and protect himself. The scents of the alphas around him were suffocating and he could tell they made it especially aggressive to force him into submission.

He had never considered that he could be cuffed to the stake. Wolves that stole were cuffed to the stake. Those who committed a crime. Those who endangered the pack during an attack were cuffed to it. It was the second to worst punishment. Only being forcefully exiled was considered worse. He remembered the last wolf that had been cuffed to the stake for abnormal behaviour. It had lasted for two weeks.  
Breathing heavily, he tried to keep the panic down. He heard cheers as his scent gave away his discomfort. He was still experiencing his rut. It was humiliating and terrifying. He had never felt this vulnerable and exposed in his life. His trousers sat very loosely on his hips and he prayed they stayed where they were. 

The wolves kept spitting at him, shoving him against the stake, but the worst where their suffocating scents. They clogged his lungs and made his wolf cower in fear. They wanted to use violence against him. He could smell it.  
However, it was already night and the wolves standing around him became less and less. They knew he would still be there in the morning.

Eventually, the abuse stopped.

Taemin kept his face hidden in his arms. How long would they punish him like that? Would it also be for two weeks? Longer because of his father?  
His rut had reached the point where the warmth had turned into burning pain. He tried to breathe through it, but it didn’t lessen. 

Jongin’s words echoed in his head that he could get a fever if he didn’t take care of his rut, but the only option he had was rutting against the stake. It would be demeaning and the ultimate humiliation. He refused to even consider it.

“Need a hand?” 

Taemin peeked over his arm. Chihun had leant down to his eye level and looked at him with a triumphant smirk.

“Or would you prefer my cock?” 

The other’s friends jeered. A new kind of fear spiked in Taemin’s blood. They could do whatever they wanted to him. No one would step in to help him. Anyone cuffed to the stake was fair game.

He pressed his lips together and kept silent to not provoke the other.

“Aw, look at him. Submissive like a good little omega. You never were a real alpha,” Chihun taunted. 

Taemin froze when a hand reached into his loose trousers.

“His butt is all slippery with oil. All ready to be fucked.” 

Taemin forced down a whimper as he pressed against the stake to get away from the other’s touch as much as possible. He was going to be sick.

“You gonna fuck him, Chihun?”

“I owe him one, but I will wait till he is begging for my cock. His rut isn’t going to break anytime soon.”

The others jeered again.

Taemin’s head was jerked back by his hair.

“I will be back princess.” The words were said right against his ear and Taemin shuddered repulsed. 

His hair was let go with a shove and he was alone.

He tried hard not to, but his chest was painfully tight, and the tears spilt over his cheeks as he desperately tried to reign in his emotions. Chihun was going to rape him. He’d never begged, but he doubted that would stop the other. His breathing sped up and he felt like he was suffocating. Sweat broke out on his body and he started shaking. He couldn’t breathe. He was going to die. Helplessly, he gasped for air. Air, he needed air. Spots flickered in front of his eyes. He couldn‘t breathe.

Taemin limply hung in his restraints. He blinked his eyes open. The sky was already brightening slightly. He felt bone-deep fatigue in his bones. A shiver wracked his body despite still being uncomfortably hot. Had he been out? Slowly, he tried to get his knees back under his body. His wrists were in agony. He hissed when his blood started to circulate properly again. 

His body hurt.

He focused on just breathing. In and out. In and out. Slowly.

However, he was starting to feel like he had been sitting in the burning sun for hours despite it still being dark. His mouth was dry and there was an aching pain in his head. It had to be his rut.

The sun rose slowly and Taemin felt himself slip in and out of consciousness. 

Sometimes, he was roughly pulled into the present when something or someone hit his body, but he mostly floated in a burning haze.

He gasped when cool water touched his lips and drank greedily.

Someone said something about “omegas” and “too soft”. Taemin saw a familiar face close to his own. It was a woman with warm brown eyes and bronze skin.

“Hold out, love.” She kissed his forehead and moved away.

Did he hallucinate?

His world returned to being a burning hell.

He stopped looking at the sky to gauge the time. He stopped trying to keep his knees under him. The pain drowned out any other wish but for an end of this agony.

*

Gasping, Taemin came to. He was surrounded by ice-cold water.

“Are you finally with me?”

Confused, he stared up into Jongin’s face. He wanted to say something, but his mouth didn’t obey him.

“For now, just relax. You are safe.”

Taemin managed a slight nod before his heavy eyelids slipped close again. 

When he came to the next time, he was lying on the ground. Heavy furs were draped over his body, but he still felt cold.

“Can you drink something?” Jongin was beside him and gently pulled him up a little. Taemin drank some water and even ate small bits of meat. Feeling exhausted, he fell back asleep.

The world was moving the next time he opened his eyes. He quickly realised he was on Jongin’s back.

“Why are we here?” his voice was awfully raspy. Jongin immediately stopped, let him down and made him drink some water. His friend felt his forehead.

“Finally. Still a bit too warm, but not burning anymore. How do you feel?”

“Like I have done several rounds in the ring.”

“Now that the fever went down, you will feel better soon,” Jongin said soothingly. He could see lines of worry in Jongin’s face. He reached out and gently smoothed out the other’s frown.

A sigh left Jongin’s lips.

“You had me so scared. I thought I was going to lose you to a rotten fever.”

“What happened?” Taemin asked. 

“What do you remember?“

A shiver wracked Taemin‘s body.

“I was cuffed to the stake.”

Jongin nodded.

“Everyone talked about it. The news even reached the beta hut. I thought I was going to go insane. I even tried to get out, but I couldn’t. The next night, my mother came with an axe and broke the fence down. I have never seen her like this. She looked like a war goddess. She told me to take you and run. That she wasn’t going to watch anyone torture her son any longer in that blasted hut. All the other betas tried to flee, too. I am glad because my mom could hide in the ensuing chaos as the alphas tried to hurriedly secure the fence and I could slip away. Your cuffs were impossible to open. So in the end, I went to your hut. Your mother was scared, but he eventually gave the keys to me.”

“That was the kindest act he ever did for me,” Taemin said tonelessly. 

“Then I just took you and ran.”

“Wow, I remember nothing.”

“Your fever was so high, I am not surprised. If you were awake at all, you were delirious.”

“I am sorry. This must have been hard on you. I can see the dark circles under your eyes.”

“It’s not your fault. It was just hard breaking your fever while being on the move,” Jongin reached out and pulled him into a hug. Taemin hugged him back tightly and nudged his head under Jongin’s chin. He felt safe and warm there.

“I am fine now.”

“You just regained consciousness for a longer time. You are taking it easy,” Jongin immediately said. 

“Okay,” Taemin easily agreed. He was utterly exhausted and felt no need to fight Jongin on this. 

Jongin hummed. 

“Can you eat something before you drift off again?”

Taemin hadn’t even noticed that his eyes had slipped close again but being this close to Jongin and knowing they were safe lulled him close to sleep.

“I am not hungry.”

“Please?”

He didn’t need to see the puppy eyes to know he didn’t stand a chance, and therefore, gave in easily. Slowly, he ate small bites of bread and meat. 

“Why am I this tired already again?” He complained after he had rejected another bite. His stomach was full, even though, he had only eaten a quarter of what he was used to. 

“It took a lot out of your body that your rut had to break by itself. It’s okay. You can sleep on my back.”

“How luxurious,” Taemin said as he let himself be pulled up onto Jongin’s back again. He should probably ask where they were going, but he was too tired to care.

“I don’t think it is very luxurious to get shaken around like that.”

Taemin buried his nose in Jongin’s nape.

“No, I am travelling first class.”

Jongin huffed a laugh. Taemin smiled. It was the first he heard in a long time. 

Taemin slept a lot. The stretches of time, he stayed awake became longer and longer. It was a bit of a fight to get Jongin to let him walk again and he had to promise to not overexert himself in any way. As if he could hide anything from the other. With every day, he felt more like himself again and he could feel Jongin relax in equal measures. 

They were travelling aimlessly. Jongin admitted, that at first, he had simply chosen the direction ‘away’. Now, they had to decide where to go.

But where?

“Do you think there are nice packs?” Taemin mused. It was noon and they had taken a break to eat. The days were getting slightly cooler and autumn was slowly sneaking upon them.

“Maybe,” Jongin said thoughtfully, “We never left our pack, and we didn’t hear much from the outside either. It’s possible.” 

“Winter is approaching.”

“I know. I am concerned about that, too. We don’t have any bread anymore. We could approach some packs for trading and scout them out.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They went on the hunt together. Taemin wanted to howl in frustration. Jongin kept a slow pace and he knew it was for his benefit. He felt fine and like this, they wouldn’t catch anything.

Frustrated, he changed back.

“We can’t hunt like this.”

Jongin looked sheepishly at him.

“I am fine, Jongin. I have been walking for the past days without any trouble.”

“I know, but there is still something in your scent I don’t like. I don’t want you to relapse. You have no idea how bad it was.”

Taemin sighed. 

“Fine, go on without me, but I am telling you, the next hunt I will be joining you and I will not hold back anymore.”

Jongin stepped closer, placed his hands in his nape and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Thank you.”

“It is really hard to go against someone who cares,” Taemin grumbled.

“I am not doing this to be a pain.”

“I know.”

“I will stay close to you during the hunt.”

“I know that, too.”

Jongin smiled crookedly at him before turning around and sprinting off.

It didn’t take Jongin long to hunt enough for them to eat for the next few days and to have something to trade with. They saved the tender meat for trading.

They picked up old trails of wolves and followed them. It became more and more the longer they walked and Taemin was confident they were walking towards a camp. It got dark before they reached it and they decided to take a rest for the night. They turned into their wolf forms and Jongin nudged him a bit till the other could curl around him. Taemin thought it was unnecessary as he didn’t get cold quickly anymore, but it felt too nice for him to complain. To him, the sense of safety Jongin provided like this mattered much more than the warmth he received.

They had a quick breakfast in the morning and kept following the scents till they could see huts between the trees.

They walked slowly and kept their hands visible to show they came in peace. In front of one of the huts, other wolves exchanged goods and they stepped closer.

One of the alphas moved into their path. Taemin froze on the spot; the aggressive scent made him nauseous instantly. For a moment, he felt like he was cuffed right back to the stake.

“What do you want?” He addressed Taemin.

Taemin knew he should say something, but his mind was blank.

“We are here to trade,” Jongin said with his head slightly lowered. 

The alpha looked at them irritated. He kept pointedly looking at Taemin as if he refused to do business with a beta. Taemin forced himself to take swallow breaths to avoid as much of the other’s scent as possible.

“We have freshly hunted meat. It is very tender.” His voice sounded weird to his own ears, but he ignored it and instead opened the bag on Jongin’s back and showed what they had.

Involuntarily, he took a step back when the alpha stepped closer before he caught himself. The alpha sneered at him but inspected the meat.

“You are in luck. It’s the kind of meat my pregnant mate likes. What do you want?”

Jongin gave him a nudge.

“Bread,” Taemin forced out.

The alpha nodded and turned around to get what they requested.

They got a good amount of bread for their meat and they were quick to leave again under the disdainful watch of the alpha. 

As soon as they were safely hidden by the trees, Taemin leant against a tree and breathed heavily. His lungs felt like they were burning.

Jongin gently pulled him away from the tree and cradled his head against his neck. Taemin breathed in the other’s scent greedily.

“What the hell?” he whispered. What was wrong with him?

“It’s okay,” Jongin said soothingly.

“Why couldn’t I…?”

“I think the scent triggered you because of what happened. It’s okay.”

“It’s not. It was just one night. Chihun didn’t even get the chance to rape me then,” Taemin regretted his words instantly. It had been there since they left the camp, suppressed, but now it was so thick he could almost taste Jongin’s furious anger on his tongue. He whimpered, even though, it was clearly not directed at him.

Jongin immediately tried to reign it in. The other growled frustrated and now it was his turn to bury his face in Taemin’s neck.

Taemin tried to make his scent comforting. Focusing on Jongin helped push his anxiousness down.

“A beta, my arse. You are like a very soft alpha. That’s what you are,” he said gently. Jongin huffed a laugh against his skin.

“It was hard to not go all alpha on that damned alpha just now. Betas can be angry, too.”

“If we had not needed the bread, I would have loved to see it. Oh boy, would he have been surprised.”

Jongin pulled away with a deep sigh.

“He acted just as entitled as the alphas in our old pack.”

“Yes, I think it might be harder than we hoped to find a nice pack.” 

“For now, we have enough bread to last us a while. Let’s not give up just yet,” Jongin said and Taemin nodded.

They kept travelling. Eventually, Jongin had to let him hunt. Taemin was slightly slower, but it felt good to stretch his limbs in a run and get some proper exercise. 

They travelled, they rested, they hunted, they walked. 

The next time they had to trade meat for bread, it turned out to be much like the first time. The alpha in charge refused to talk to Jongin, sneered at the obvious fear in Taemin’s scent and tried to overpower them with his testosterone-fuelled scent. If their meat wasn’t as good as it was, he might have refused to trade with them.

Taemin felt pathetic when Jongin and he had to hug it out again afterwards. 

“The only nice alpha you ever met is you,” Jongin said pointedly. “All alphas you encountered threatened you with violence, abuse and rape. It’s no wonder you feel uncomfortable around them. Give yourself credit for facing them again and again.”

“I hate feeling this weak.”

“You are much stronger than you think.”

Taemin sighed but nodded. Deep down, he knew Jongin was right. They had reached a point he never would have thought possible only months ago. They were free. They didn’t have to fear being forced into anything. The last weeks at their old pack had been hellish, but they made it.

They slept curled up to each other every night with the leaves of the trees being their only roof. It gave Taemin the air to breathe, but he also knew it was dangerous. 

Taemin was pulled out of his slumber as the form pressed against his side jerked. The unfamiliar scent hit him immediately. It was strong and aggressive and came closer at an alarming speed.

Jongin charged at the unfamiliar wolf immediately. There was a loud thump as the two wolves collided mid-air. The muddy wolf attacked relentlessly. They moved so quickly that Taemin hesitated as he didn’t want to accidentally attack Jongin. The wolves were closely matched in ability and none stayed on top for long. Suddenly, they stopped moving. Jongin had his teeth in the other’s neck, however, the other had buried his teeth in Jongin’s shoulder as well. The metallic scent of blood tickled Taemin’s nose. 

With a growl, Taemin attacked the soft side of the wolf who was biting deeply into Jongin’s shoulder. 

The wolf howled and let go. Using his whole weight and strength, Taemin moved under the other’s body and threw him off Jongin. His friend was on his feet immediately. Growling loudly, they advanced together. A scared noise left the other’s muzzle before he sprinted off.

They hesitated and waited till they couldn’t smell the other anymore. 

Taemin was immediately onto Jongin after he changed back to check his shoulder.  
“You are bleeding.”

“Damn, it hurts.”

Taemin gently pulled Jongin down to the ground. With deft fingers, he helped the other out of his shirt to get a better lock.

“Do we have anything to treat this?” Taemin asked.

“My mom packed a small bottle of alcohol in the bag she had ready for me.”

With a nod, Taemin went to get their bag. He found the bottle quickly. Biting his bottom lip, he considered his options and, in the end, decided to tear a strip off of the bottom of his shirt. It was long enough. He also took their water.

“This is going to hurt,” he warned. 

Jongin curled his hand around Taemin’s thigh and nodded.

Carefully, he let the water run over the bitten skin. Jongin hissed but stayed relaxed. Next, Taemin picked up the alcohol.

“Just do it,” Jongin said and Taemin was careful to not waste any. The hand gripping his thigh told him just how much it had to hurt. 

“I wish we had some crème to help with healing,” he said as he quickly wrapped the cleaned wound.

“As long as I don’t get an infection, I am good,” Jongin said with a shrug.

“Don’t shrug,” Taemin immediately said. He guided Jongin to lay down on his unhurt side. He carded through the other’s hair to soothe him. Jongin curled closer to Taemin for comfort.

“What did he want from us anyway?” Taemin grumbled angrily. 

“He was incredibly hungry. I could smell it. Our food must have smelled good enough for him to risk it.”

“Damn it.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“So, you say,” Taemin said. He would have to watch out for Jongin. The other said he had the tendency to downplay things, but if someone would ask him, Jongin was just as bad if not worse.

Taemin slept much more lightly. Every small noise made him become alert and made him scan their surroundings in fear of another attack because now he had Jongin to protect.

In the morning, he had to growl darkly at Jongin for daring to take their bag.

“It’s not that heavy.”

“You are not putting any weight on that shoulder for the next few days.”

“But…”

“No, I didn’t go hunting with you when I was weak. Now, it is your turn to listen and be sensible.”

Taemin could smell the resistance on Jongin, but the other nodded and handed over the bag after they had a silent standoff.

“It’s really not that bad.”

“Good, then we should keep it what way.”

Taemin could tell how hard it was for Jongin to accept his injury. They almost got into a fight because Taemin refused to let the other hunt for them. Of course, it would be faster to hunt than to wait till Taemin’s traps caught anything, but Taemin feared for the wound to get infected. If they were in a position to safely stay in one place for a few days, he would insist they take a break till Jongin was properly healed. As it was, he tried to make the other rest as much as possible and cleaned his wound regularly.

“You are worse than my mother.”

“I learnt from the best,” Taemin said pointedly. 

“This is nothing compared to your fever.”

“An infection can just as easily cause a fever,” Taemin argued and suddenly he had an idea. “If you got seriously sick, you’d leave me defenceless. I would have to protect both of us.”

Jongin’s shoulders sagged.

From then on, he let Taemin carry their belongings, let him set up their camp and traps and stopped putting up a fight when they took additional breaks.

Taemin almost felt stupid at how easy it had been to convince Jongin. Why didn’t he think about this earlier?

Jongin’s shoulder started to heal much faster and after another week the last scabs fell off. 

“Will you allow me to be useful again?” Jongin asked as they both inspected the scars. 

“Yes,” Taemin said and pressed a lingering kiss to the pouting lips. 

They both stilled. The hadn’t kissed each other properly on the lips since Jongin became a beta. It was months ago. The kiss just now had been an impromptu action on Taemin’s part. Now, his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest as Jongin’s brown eyes searched his face.

Jongin licked his lips and then slowly leant forward. Taemin had all the time in the world if he wanted to move away, but he didn’t. Their lips connected gently. With a sigh, Taemin closed his eyes and leant into the kiss. It was slow and gentle. Their lips stayed mostly closed as they pressed and rubbed them together, but it felt just right.

They smiled when they pulled apart. There was a lightness in Taemin’s heart he had missed.

Without another word, they broke up their camp and continued their travel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They escaped! I know it took a long while and you had to handle quite a bit of angst. I am sorry! Thank you for sticking with me. There are only a few chapters to go.
> 
> I will give a spoiler for the next chapter. Its working title is 'Baekhyun' (It will probably be the final title, too. I am considering only writing oneshots in the future. Someone safe me. I can't name chapters. It's agony. )
> 
> Take care!


	8. Baekhyun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> I hope you said good riddance to 2020 in a pleasant way. I danced to SHINee bops till I was exhausted and then watched Korean Variety Shows (two words, anyone? XD).   
> On a side note, SHINee is back 2021! I am so happy I could cry.
> 
> Hopefully, you will enjoy the chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it.

They travelled for days without meeting anyone. Considering Jongin’s last injury, they were glad for it, but on a cloudy day wolfs moved towards them at a moderate pace. 

The scents were strange and confusing and Taemin and Jongin waited in the clearing in their fighting stances as they had no idea what to expect. They were ready to fight anyone who threatened them. 

A single man entered the clearing cautiously. Jongin suddenly dropped his arms and took a non-threatening stance. Taemin followed his cue and relaxed his body slightly. That was when he saw the babies strapped with some cloth to the upper torso of the man. They were very small. 

“We don’t mean any trouble. We just wish to travel in peace,” Jongin said loudly and held up his hands as a sign that he wasn’t holding a weapon.   
“Thank god,” the man said and dropped to the floor to sit right where he had been standing. Taemin and Jongin exchanged a concerned glance and then approached the other carefully. 

The man looked utterly exhausted and starved. To their surprise, he pulled another two babies from his back. He had four in total. His scent was confusing. He smelled like an alpha, beta and omega in one person. 

Whoever he was, he looked like he could use some help.

“Would you like some food? We have nothing for the babies, though,” Taemin offered and sat down as well so he stopped towering over the man and his babies. It had to be disconcerting. Jongin quickly joined them on the ground and pulled out some meat. The stranger looked at them in disbelief.

“Here.” Jongin nudged it into his hands. The stranger swallowed on nothing as his eyes jumped back and forth between them, but eventually, he took the meat. He moaned around the first bite. One of the babies in his lap got antsy and tried to crawl off the edge of the stranger’s knee. Jongin immediately scooped the baby up before anything could happen and cradled the little boy against his chest. The stranger watched with eagle eyes as Jongin made soothing noises at the small boy. 

“He is really good with children,” Taemin said in a calm voice. The stranger nodded jerkily but kept eating. Another baby tried to crawl away and after reaching out tentatively and receiving a hesitant nod, Taemin hugged the little one close. It had been so long since he held a little cub. The boy had that distinctive baby-smell and he buried his nose in the dark locks to savour it. A tiny hand rested against his collarbone. Babies were so small and vulnerable. 

“You are an odd pair,” the man said after he had finished eating. He took out a waterskin and carefully held it to the lips of one of the babies in his lap and let milk dribble on his tongue.

“Aren’t you the odd one with four babies?” Jongin asked incredulously.

“Our pack was attacked, and I managed to flee. When I came back, I found them buried under rubble. No one else survived. It happens. However, an alpha taking cues from a beta? An alpha knowing how to hold babies? Now, that is a novelty.”

Taemin shifted awkwardly. They had been too obvious and the stranger was much more observant than he had anticipated.

“No need to look so uncomfortable. It’s a nice change and as you can tell a welcome one. I am grateful for the meat. Hunting with four babies is close to impossible and I need what I have to trade for their milk.” The other looked close to skin and bones. The babies seemed to be in relatively good shape and well-fed. 

The baby in Jongin’s arms started fussing and the man reached for another waterskin and handed it to Jongin.

“If you don’t mind?”

Jongin immediately started to feed the little one. Taemin looked down at the one in his arms and noticed he had fallen asleep against his chest. They could have suffocated under the rubble easily. They were so little.

“These two are Mark and Taeyong. The fussy one getting fed right now is Lucas and the one taking a nap is Ten,” the man pointed out the babies.

“I am Taemin.”

“And I am Jongin.”

“Baekhyun.”

“We could make camp together tonight,” Jongin proposed slowly and Taemin nodded. Baekhyun had to be vulnerable with four babies. How could they just leave him? Especially, since he looked so exhausted.

“You are way too nice to someone you just met.”

“We just know what it means to be vulnerable. As you said, we are odd. We had to run away from our pack because of that,” Taemin said and exchanged a look with Jongin. 

“Do something to the babies and I will skin you,” Baekhyun said lightly, but they could tell there was steel in his voice.

“We’d never,” Jongin promised and handed the waterskin to Taemin. The scent of milk made Ten blink his eyes open and Taemin carefully let the milk dribble into his mouth. 

While they fed the rest of the babies, Jongin placed Lucas in Taemin’s lap and went to get some firewood. Taemin could tell the other never moved far from them, but he doubted Baekhyun was a threat to them. If it were to come down to it, they should be able to overpower the underfed man without trouble.

“Have you been mates long?” Baekhyun asked conversationally as he kept feeding Mark.

“We aren’t mates. We are friends.”

Baekhyun looked at him incredulously.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter to me that you are an alpha and a beta.”

Taemin moved his shirt aside to show his unmarked neck. Baekhyun only looked more incredulous.

“I am sorry. You smell like you have a very strong mating bond.”

“We aren’t, but we have been best friends since I can remember. I have been smelling like Jongin for ages, I guess.”

Baekhyun hummed.

“That’s nice.”

“Jongin is just a really nice person. And a bit of a softy when you get to know him, so you don’t need to worry about the cubs.”

Baekhyun tilted his head slightly as he observed him. Taemin lifted a questioning eyebrow.

“In theory, I should be more concerned about you as you are an alpha, but I can already tell that you are not a typical alpha, are you?”

Taemin felt a shadow fall over them. Jongin was towering behind him.

“So what if he is not?”

Baekhyun lifted a placating hand. 

“It just means I feel more comfortable with the babies. That’s all. I am not a big fan of dominating, aggressive alphas.”

“I am everything but,” Taemin said in a low voice.

“And that’s why I am staying for the night,” Baekhyun said and sent them a smile.

Jongin relaxed and went back to building their fire. Taemin helped him till he noticed how impossible it was for Baekhyun to keep all of the babies in his lap. He picked up Ten again who had gotten a foot to his nose in the struggle and looked about ready to cry.

“How do you manage?” he asked as he bounced Ten.

“With a lot of tears, wails, spilt milk and grumpy babies,” Baekhyun said with a weak smile. Taemin bent down and scooped up Mark who had been about to fall face-first off Baekhyun’s knee. Baekhyun had a secure grip on a kicking Lucas and a fussing Taeyong.

Jongin used what clothes they had and build a nest for the babies. Baekhyun gave the kicking Lucas to his best friend and they all started walking up and down to soothe the babies enough to fall asleep. Baekhyun managed first and took Mark into his arms next.

Ten followed into dreamland next and Taemin carefully laid him down next to Taeyong. Taemin changed into his wolf and laid down and pressed against the edge of the nest to share his warmth. Lucas followed soon after. Jongin curled around Taemin to leave the other side of the nest for Baekhyun. Mark kept fussing for a while longer, but eventually, Baekhyun could lie him down, too, and joined them as a chocolate-coloured wolf after making sure the cubs were covered and warm enough.

For the first time, it wasn’t just them, and Taemin marvelled at how unbothered he was by the fact. 

He woke up to a hand patting his snout. Taeyong looked innocently right back at him when Taemin opened his eyes. The little baby boy tried to crawl over the border of the nest towards Taemin but kept slipping down. His face scrunched up and Taemin moved quickly but carefully before he started to wail. He took the little cub by the cuff of his neck and carried him a few metres away. 

Gently, he placed the other down. Immediately, Taeyong looked at him expectantly. Taemin hoped he didn’t expect food because he didn’t have any. To distract the little one of possible food wants, he nosed his belly. Taeyong immediately giggled and pulled at the fur at Taemin’s muzzle. Feeling more confident, he puffed air against the baby’s cheeks and received more giggles. Taeyong was just like the cubs from his old pack. Cute and very affectionate. He kept nosing and tickling him till he felt a hand sink into his tail. He resisted the strong urge to jump around to face his attacker and only twisted his neck. He had been so engrossed with Taeyong that Ten had snuck upon them. Feeling the need for two arms, he transformed. 

“You…” he growled and tickled Ten mercilessly. The other squeaked delightedly. When the little boy was out of breath, Taemin lay down on the ground and encouraged the two cubs to crawl all over him. They took the challenge very seriously and explored where they could go up and where down. Taemin kept his hands at the ready to stop them from nosediving.

“I guess I should have known you wouldn’t eat them for breakfast.”

Taemin looked up just as Taeyong poked deeply into his belly button.

“Uff,” Taemin said and looked at Baekhyun. The other had an amused look on his face.

“Do you want some help?”

“They might be hungry. I am not sure though,” Taemin said and carefully sat up. Ten immediately tried to crawl unsuccessfully up his chest.

“You have charmed Ten,” Baekhyun said and scooped up Taeyong.

“I think Ten charmed me instead. He is very cute. They all are.”

“Yes, and very well behaved now that they get so much attention, the little rascals.”

“It’s much easier if it is three on four rather than one on four, I imagine,” Taemin said and stood up with Ten in his arms. 

“Absolutely,” Baekhyun said and they returned to the camp. Jongin was still sleeping deeply with Lucas and Mark close to him. 

Taemin opened their bag and pulled out some more meat, some berries and the last of their bread for breakfast. He gestured for Baekhyun to help himself. 

“I don’t even know how to repay you.”

Taemin shrugged.

“You are with four cubs. It’s not your fault you can’t hunt.”

“You are the first people who helped me for no reason. People tend to want something in return.”

“I get to cuddle babies. It’s kind of nice,” Taemin said and put a portion of food for Jongin aside.

“For once they give me an advantage,” Baekhyun laughed.

“Other wolves aren’t concerned for them?”

“It’s mostly alphas travelling around alone. Their only interest in me is whether I am an omega or not. Cubs mean I am less inclined to tolerate their advances.”

Taemin pulled a face. He knew what that meant. Baekhyun led a much more dangerous life than he had thought at the beginning. He remembered his fear all too well when Chihun had threatened to take advantage of him.

“If I had only smelled you, I would have taken a detour to avoid you if possible. Betas are sometimes willing to trade. So, I risked it. And I admit, I was just too tired to try and run. Last night was the first in ages I slept that deeply. As much as I love them to pieces, these four turn me into easy prey.”

Taemin felt bad for the other. He knew he would feel a lot more vulnerable without Jongin by his side. 

“We could travel to the next village camp together if you need milk. We need more bread as well,” he offered.

“If that’s alright with both of you.” Baekhyun looked at Jongin.

“Believe me when I say he is a softy.”

“He is wary of me. He watches me very closely.”

“He is wary of everyone we meet. He is a bit protective, too.”

“I could tell,” Baekhyun said and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Taemin felt heat shoot into his cheeks.

“I tend to get into trouble. That’s all.”

“You must be giving him heart attacks regularly,” Baekhyun nodded sagely.

Taemin blinked. There was still a grin on the other’s lips, and he suspected he was getting teased. 

Embarrassed, he buried his face in Ten’s hair. The baby made a pleased noise at the attention.

There was a surprised wail. Mark looked offended at the chubby hand close to his face and Lucas slowly blinked his eyes open. The noise had woken Jongin as well who stretched lazily. Baekhyun lifted Mark into his lap and made kissy faces at him and Jongin picked up Lucas by the cuff of his neck and deposited him in Taemin’s lap before changing back to his human form.

“Everyone accounted for?” Jongin asked with a yawn.

Taeyong peeked over Baekhyun’s thigh as if called and Jongin nodded before reaching for his breakfast.

“I thought we could travel with Baekhyun to the next camp. This is our last bread, and the cubs need milk and all that.”

Jongin looked at Baekhyun, and Taemin could tell he was still a bit wary. Taemin lifted Ten and held him right up into his face.

“We need to feed them,” Taemin said innocently. 

Jongin huffed a laugh and took Ten into his arms. 

“Of course, we will,” The other said and Taemin conspiratorially winked at Baekhyun. See, it wasn’t hard at all to convince Jongin.

They also fed the rest of the milk to the babies, took care of their nappies and let them crawl around between their legs.

“We will have to think about who will hold the babies and who will negotiate. The alphas I negotiated with don’t take kindly to the cubs. I must seem desperate to them, too,” Baekhyun said thoughtfully. 

“They will want to negotiate with Taemin,” Jongin said with a sigh.

“Is that bad?” Baekhyun asked confused.

“I am not good at it. I easily get triggered by an aggressive alpha scent,” Taemin admitted in a low voice.

“Oh.” Baekhyun looked non-plussed for a moment. 

“As long as I am there, the alphas might want to negotiate with me. I could stay back with the cubs.”

“No! I- no,” Jongin immediately said.

“Why not?” Baekhyun asked thoughtfully.

“The last time I left his side… I-Please, don’t make me.”

Taemin looked mutely at Jongin. Now, that he thought about it, he realised that Jongin hadn’t left his side for more than a hunt, and even then, the other had kept close enough to be back within seconds. 

Baekhyun’s eyes bounced back and forth between them. The other was probably trying to make sense of them.

“Okay, then…” the other said loudly, leant closer to Taemin and smelled him. “I think it could work. Your scent isn’t that strong.”

“What could work?” Jongin asked.

“I have learned that when the scent isn’t clearly distinct, people tend to believe what you give them reason to believe the most.”

Taemin frowned confused.

“I can control what I smell the most like with my emotions. If, for example, Taemin wore clothes I wore as I smelled like an omega and he carried the cubs, people would be inclined to believe he was one. He has the build of one, too. Betas don’t have a strong scent, to begin with. If Jongin wore the clothes covered in Taemin’s alpha scent with his physique, we could enter that camp as two alphas and one omega and no one would look at Taemin and the cubs twice. Nor would they be inclined to mess with us.”

So Baekhyun could manipulate his scent? Taemin had never heard about anything like that. 

“But what if the alphas got interested in him because he smelled like an omega?” Jongin immediately said.

“A mated omega with four cubs accompanied by two alphas? I doubt it.”

“But he isn’t mated.”

“But he smells like he is mated to you, Jongin. The first scent I caught of the two of you was your mating bond. Imagine how confused I was when I caught the scent of a beta and alpha. Even if we cover him in my scent, it will carry through, no doubt. It is much stronger than his individual scent.”

“But we aren’t mated,” Jongin repeated confused.

“It might be your childhood bond. Whatever it is, it would protect Taemin if we made him into an omega.”

“The plan sounds insane, but if it works, I am willing to do it. With four cubs, we will draw less attention if we have an omega,” Jongin said. 

“I’d like to try,” Taemin agreed. If he could stay in the background and didn’t need to engage with the alphas, he would take it.

“Good, let’s do it then.”

Taemin changed into Jongin’s spare clothes as the other would never fit into his to cover them in his scent. Baekhyun and he were close in size, so it wouldn’t be a problem.

They had to reach a camp today if they wanted to keep the little ones in a good mood. Therefore, they quickly packed their belongings and eradicated all traces of their camp. 

While they walked, Baekhyun entertained them with stories of the misadventures of his four cubs and Taemin was glad to see Jongin relax more and more. He wouldn’t mind travelling some more with the other man. The cubs were cute, and it almost felt like they were an extremely small pack. A bit of a strange one, but still. 

They reached the village just before noon. It had been closer than they had anticipated, but the cubs had already wailed several times. It was hard for them to constantly be restrained and carried. Maybe they would have to start taking more breaks. 

They quickly exchanged their clothes while they were still hidden by the trees.

When they were done, Jongin and Baekhyun both stepped closer and sniffed him. 

“Unbelievable,” Jongin said.

“It works better than I anticipated,” Baekhyun said with a grin.

Taemin tried to smell himself. He smelled different, but he couldn’t tell exactly what it was.

“Do I smell like an omega?”

“No one will doubt you,” Jongin said.

“We should go when the scent is still the strongest,” Baekhyun said and started to tie the babies to Taemin’s upper body.

“How can babies be that heavy?” Taemin carefully adjusted Taeyong as he got used to the weight pulling him down.

“Will you be alright? Since I will go in there as your mate, maybe I can…”

“No, I am fine. You and Baekhyun focus on negotiating,” Taemin interrupted Jongin. He could handle them as long as they were secure against his body and he didn’t have to fear for their safety.

“Let’s go then,” Baekhyun said and took the lead. Jongin gave him a nudge.  
“It will make sense if we keep you between us.”

Taemin nodded and started moving. He hoped he didn’t break some important rule just because, to an extent, he had become used to acting like an alpha.

There were many eyes on them as they entered the village. Taemin could feel Jongin right behind him and he quickly lowered his head. He wasn’t supposed to look into anyone’s eyes. It felt strange at first, but it also took a load off him to know his priority were the cubs and not the alphas around them.

Baekhyun stopped in front of the hut with goods in front of it. 

“We’d like to trade,” the other said confidently. Taemin almost wanted to scoff when he could smell the aggressive smell the alphas immediately produced when faced with two other alphas. As it was not directed at him, it was much more bearable. Mark was the closest to his face and he buried his nose in his soft baby smell. The cubs got a bit restless at the scents and Taemin tried to soothe them. He could hear the laughs when Lucas let out a wail. Taemin lifted his head enough to glare at the alphas. One of the alphas took a threatening step closer when he noticed Taemin’s hostile attitude. Jongin immediately held an arm out in front of Taemin’s body. It was at the same height as the babies. The message was clear: Stay away from my mate and cubs. Baekhyun growled low in his throat.

“You are feeling threatened by an omega with cubs?” Another alpha asked with a laugh and the previous one stepped back with a growl.

“He’s got attitude.”

“They always do when they have cubs, and he has got four.” The alpha who had defused the situation stepped closer to inspect what they had to offer.

Baekhyun seemed to have collected a big number of nuts to trade and Jongin had their meat. 

They got what they needed and were all too happy to leave again. When they were safely back in the forest, they looked uncertainly at each other. They had only agreed to stay together till they traded. Baekhyun had enough milk to last him a few days and they had enough bread. 

Taemin bit his bottom lip and tightened his arms around the babies still strapped to his front. 

For some reason, he didn’t want Baekhyun to leave, even though, they had only just met. He was the first nice person he had met aside from Jongin. It felt wrong to just part and never see each other again.

“It’s dangerous to travel alone,” Jongin said slowly.

“It is,” Baekhyun agreed and blinked up at Jongin.

“Especially with babies,” Jongin continued.

“Very true,” Baekhyun agreed again.

“Stay with us,” Taemin blurted out. 

Baekhyun’s lips pulled into a broad smile. 

“I never really got the chance to play with the cubs properly yet,” Jongin said with a grin.

“Oh come on, just say it already. You want him to travel with us,” Taemin said with a huff.

“He is weird enough to mesh well with us.”

Now, Jongin was just being difficult on purpose. 

Baekhyun laughed at the back and forth and Taemin gave in with a sigh. 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun said sincerely. 

“The more we are, the safer all of us will be,” Jongin said seriously and reached to undo some of the knots that tied the babies to Taemin. “I can carry two.”

“Give me one as well,” Baekhyun said. 

Ten and Taeyong got bound against Jongin’s chest and Baekhyun tied Lucas carefully to his torso. 

Taemin bobbed Mark’s nose who had stayed with him. Mark immediately grabbed his index finger and examined it.

“We don’t have any toys for them, do we?” He asked. They would have to walk quite a bit to get farther away from the camp.

“I am afraid not,” Baekhyun said with a shrug.

Jongin hummed and crouched down. The other picked up a few pinecones and passed them on.

“Maybe they want to try and pluck them apart.”

They had to stop regularly to pick up the dropped cones, but the babies were much more cheerful, and they couldn’t fault them for being bored as they walked. 

They still walked without any clear goal in mind, but as Taemin observed their odd group he had to smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun finally enters the stage! *drum rolls* And yes, NCT are literally babies in this. 
> 
> I hope you liked it. I would love to hear what you think.


	9. Pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I finally manage to post. University started again, but I will try to at least post once a week. We are slowly getting to the end, too.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Travelling together with Baekhyun and the cubs was different. It seemed that now that the strain had been taken off Baekhyun, the other turned out to be rather talkative. They didn’t talk about anything serious. Although the cubs might beg to differ if they could. Apparently, Lucas wasn’t too fond of baths and always made sure anyone in the vicinity was wetter than him. Ten was the pickiest about food. If he didn’t feel like it, Baekhyun could sweet-talk him for an eternity without success only for Ten to decide half an hour later that now was the time for milk. Mark was the talker that could voice his excitement about any tree they walked past (there were a lot). Taeyong on the other hand was the perfect baby boy as long as he didn’t get scared by anything. If he did, his wail was no joke.

They had to take more breaks because of the babies. They tolerated being strapped to a person for only so long before they made their displeasure loudly known. They also needed to be fed more often and needed their nappies changed. Baekhyun said they would need to reach a lake or creek soon or the nappies would turn into a biological weapon.

When it started to get dark, they stopped and made camp.

Taemin made their fire while Jongin and Baekhyun played with the babies. The excited gurgling noises made him smile. It was impossible to put the cubs to sleep without burning some of their energy first.

Lucas had dragged the milk out of Baekhyun’s bag even before the fire had been completely lit.

“I honestly don’t know where he puts it,” Baekhyun said exasperated.

“His nappies?” Jongin deadpanned.

“Good point,” Baekhyun said. “But don’t worry. You get used to the smell. After two weeks you will stop dreaming about it.”

Jongin looked scandalised and Baekhyun laughed.

“So, tell us a bit about you?” Taemin asked Baekhyun as they all had picked up a cub to feed. There was a bit of a struggle as all of them wanted to be fed at the same time, but eventually, Taeyong could be appeased with some bread as a soother.

“There isn’t all that much to tell. I am travelling because my pack was attacked, and I and the babies were the only survivors as far as I know. They might have taken some prisoners. To be fair, my pack had had wars with all of the surrounding packs for decades. It’s just dumb to make everyone your enemy and not have any allies. Our enemies made a truce and attacked together. I didn’t have close relationships with anyone, so, I am not upset. To be honest, I was glad to get out of the beta hut that way.”

“Wait, what? You are a beta?” Jongin asked surprised.

“I guess so? I get antsy when I could have a rut or heat, but I don’t really have them. I have a knot and produce slick. As you can tell, my scent is all over the place. They needed to mould me into one of their existing categories, so they decided I was a beta,” Baekhyun said and shrugged.

“Wow,” Taemin said in a low voice.

“Looks like I am a bit of a special case,” Baekhyun said with a grimace.

“We make a wonderful group of special cases, don’t we? A wolf that is an alpha, beta and omega in one, an alpha that feels like an omega and a beta that wants to be an alpha,” Jongin mused.

“Hm, don’t forget our bunch of rascals,” Baekhyun said.

“How could I ever,” Jongin looked fondly at the cubs that were suckling at the bags with milk. It looked like they had already been adopted into Jongin’s heart despite their nappies.

It followed a long silence.

“Tell me more about you two. You seem like you have an interesting story to tell.”

Taemin and Jongin exchanged a look. Where should they even begin?

“I think I have never seen a relationship quite like yours,” Baekhyun said slowly as if gauging their reaction.

“Sometimes I wonder whether it was fate. My mom said that as soon as we could move as babies, we would seek each other out. I guess we just stuck with each other since the first time we met,” Jongin eventually said.

Taemin frowned. He had not known that. Then again, his parents never liked to talk about Jongin.

“That sounds cute and like the beginning of a perfect childhood.”

“Somewhat,” Jongin said slowly, “I had a relatively good childhood, but…” his friend trailed off.

“What he means to say is that mine wasn’t all that rosy, but it was fine, really,” Taemin said to fill the awkward silence.

Jongin clenched his jaw at his words.

Baekhyun’s eyes played ping-pong between them.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s just- I am sorry- but it was not fine,” Jongin said strongly as he pierced Taemin with his gaze.

“Ohm…” Taemin made at the sudden display of strong emotions. He usually could read Jongin so well, but he was blindsided by his sudden emotional reaction.

“Your parents left you at the stake to die and at the mercy of alphas.”

Jongin’s smell told him just how upset the other was. He scrambled for words.

“That wasn’t in my childhood, though.”

“And that makes it better?” Jongin asked. “They abused you as a child, too.”

“They did not!”

Jongin took deep breathes as if to calm himself down.

“I am sorry, you are right. This isn’t the right way to approach this. I am sorry.”

Taemin gaped as he grappled with the concept that Jongin thought he had been abused. His parents hadn’t been nice necessarily, but that didn’t mean they abused him.

“No, wait. You started this. My parents never abused me. They never hit me be before I presented.”

“So, they did after?” Jongin asked.

“I provoked my father.”

“Even so, he should not have hit you. And abuse does not have to be physical, it can be emotional, too. Making your child feel unloved is a form of abuse. Whenever someone sets out to hurt you, you always simply accepted it as if it is the way things worked. You don’t think that’s wrong?”

Taemin looked down at the top of Mark’s head.

“And the worst is that you never talk about it. I could only ever guess how bad your circumstances were.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“There were tells. You probably don’t remember it as much, but you used to be confused when I touched you. I hugged you once and you asked me what I was doing. You weren’t telling me off. You were just confused as to what I was doing. I told you it was to show affection between friends. Remember? You got used to it eventually. In the beginning, you jerked every time I did it.”

Taemin massaged his temple. He dimly remembered that conversation. It was ages ago and he couldn’t say anymore how he had felt back then. He only knew that Jongin had already been the most important person in his life back then.

“We hug a lot, though.”

Jongin balanced the cubs in his lap and moved closer to him to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

“Look, I didn’t mean to upset you. All I am trying to say is that the way your parents treated you wasn’t fine. They hurt you emotionally first, physically later. Things like that are never fine.”

Taemin looked mutely at Jongin. He searched his face. The other was serious and upset.

“You never said anything before.”

“I was a kid back then and later, well, you tend to change the topic when I steered the conversation in that direction. So, I just hugged you a lot to somehow make up for the lack of love your received from your parents, as if I could, and hoped anxiously you would be fine while I wasn’t with you.”

Silence settled around them while Taemin tried to absorb everything Jongin had just said. If Jongin had always been this anxious to leave his side, his stay at the beta hut must have been even worse for him than Taemin had suspected. His heart squeezed painfully.

“Just one more thing, you don’t need to wait to hug me till I am upset or throw your weight at me, so I hug you reflexively. I am right here for you.”

Taemin had no idea where the sudden urge came from, but he had to blink hard to keep in the tears. He hadn’t even been aware he had done that. Jongin hugged him closer and the tears spilt over.

He felt ridiculous as he sobbed into the other’s shoulder, but Jongin simply held him. It seemed like an impossible task to hold those tears back, and eventually, he gave in and cried freely.

Judging by how wet his friend’s shirt felt against his cheek, he must have cried a long time. Taemin breathed deeply when he calmed down. He felt strangely light. Crying had been freeing.

He jerked slightly when he registered that there wasn’t a cub in his lap anymore and since he had ended up in Jongin’s lap, there wasn’t one in the other’s either.

Lifting his head, he located Baekhyun with four cubs in his lap. The other must have grabbed them sometime during their conversation. Baekhyun sent him a small smile that was a bit dim around the edges.

“Sorry,” Taemin croaked.

Baekhyun immediately shook his head.

“Don’t be. I think that was a conversation you two needed to have for some time.”

“There was always too much going on to talk about it,” Jongin mumbled. The other rubbed his eyes. Of course, Jongin would have cried with him.

“We ran away from our pack eventually. Neither of us fit in, and I guess in a sense it, had become unbearable,” Taemin explained.

“That is a very tame way of saying it, but I guess one can say so,” Jongin said. The other was done rubbing his eyes and sighed.

“I never had anyone,” Baekhyun admitted in a low voice. “That’s probably why I didn’t think twice when I found Taeyong, Ten, Lucas and Mark. I can’t imagine what you have been through, but I am glad you had each other.”

“Since we have already decided to travel together, we could declare ourselves a pack,” Jongin said thoughtfully.

Taemin bit his lip. A pack they chose? It almost sounded insane.

“Aren’t packs much bigger?” Baekhyun mused. “Then again, our pack could be any way we please.”

A pack that consisted of four cubs and only three adults? They would be a strange pack indeed.

“In a nutshell, aren’t packs there to protect its members against outer threats? Everything else is just added to the construct?” Taemin thought out loud.

“If only they would,” Baekhyun said pointedly.

“But we would,” Jongin said.

“We will be that kind of pack,” Taemin said in a low voice.

They looked at each other and an exciting shiver went through Taemin’s body when he realised, he just declared them pack with his words. He had dropped the ‘woulds’ and ‘coulds’ To think they had only just met! However, he felt the bond settle in his wolf. It wasn’t a very noticeable bond. It was one that could be broken again if they so wished, but it gave his wolf the sense of belonging it had carved since they had left their old pack. It was a pleasanter bond, too. It felt light. A lot less restraining than the one he was used to.

“Will you be our leader?” Baekhyun asked.

“No, absolutely not,” Taemin said immediately.

“Do we need a leader?” Jongin asked truthfully.

“Since we are a small pack, I don’t think we need one necessarily. It’s something we can decide along the way. As it is, the three of us will protect the cubs, and therefore, lead them, but otherwise…” Baekhyun trailed off with a shrug.

“In other words, we are parents, not pack leaders,” Taemin joked.

“Sounds about right,” Jongin said with a grin.

After they had taken care of all the babies, they put them to sleep. They sat for another hour around the fire without talking much. Taemin felt like something grand had to happen any minute now. They had become a pack and somehow it was just too easy. However, nothing grand did happen. They only lay down when they got tired and went to sleep.

*

Their days started to follow a simple pattern. They walked, took care of the cubs and Taemin developed a new obsession with Jongin’s neck.

It was a bit disconcerting. Jongin’s necked looked like it had the past few years since he had stopped growing. In other words, there was nothing interesting and new. However, Taemin caught himself staring several times.

When the other threw his head back because of something funny, the laugh got stuck in Taemin’s throat and he had to stare at the arch of Jongin’s neck. His adam’s apple was rather attractive now that he looked closely.

Sometimes Jongin would just tilt his head and Taemin’s thought process came to an immediate halt.

Jongin had even teased him once for stopping in the middle of his sentence.

Taemin had no idea what was wrong with him and how to stop it. He tried his best to stare at everyone and everything but Jongin.

They were all at a lake bathing the cubs and washing nappies. It was Jongin’s turn to bath Lucas, and therefore, his shirt was completely soaked within seconds.

The other looked too sexy for words like that and Taemin was transfixed with the water droplets travelling down the other’s neck.

A finger pushed his jaw up and his mouth shut.

A burning heat shot up into Taemin’s face when he realised, he had been open-mouthed staring.

“He is going to understand eventually why you are constantly zoning out,” Baekhyun said with a broad grin.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Taemin mumbled and put more concentration into washing Ten’s and Taeyong’s hair than strictly necessary. He was glad that Jongin was far enough to not hear them. Whoever bathed Lucas had to be a safe distance away or everyone got splashed.

“Do you think I am dumb?”

Taemin glanced up. Baekhyun looked pointedly at him, but thankfully, he didn’t look insulted.

“Look, I get the whole ‘we are best friends since nappy days’-thing. It’s cute, but if you are that attracted to him that you want sex, too, you might want to think about talking with him.”

Taemin ducked his head.

“We already had sex. He helped me during my ruts.”

Baekhyun laughed in disbelieve.

“If you already crossed that line, what are you waiting for?”

Taemin prevented Ten from pulling at Taeyongs hair and didn’t answer.

“Well?” Baekhyun prodded.

“We always did so as friends because my rut needed to be broken,” he finally said with a shrug.

“Did he ever imply he only did it because he felt he had to?”

“I don’t think so,” Taemin said thoughtfully. “But you might have noticed already that Jongin would do almost anything to help me.”

“Yes, but I think that is because he cares very deeply about you. Not out of a sense of obligation, don’t you think so, too?”

“I-,” Taemin just shrugged again, picked up Ten and Taeyong and went to pat them dry. Baekhyun was immediately on his heels with Mark.

“Can I say one more thing and then I promise I will stop meddling?”

“Okay.”

“It’s one thing to have the hots for someone. It is a whole other deal if you want to mark their neck. I don’t know how well you were taught about such things, but the moment your wolf has picked its mate, it’s pretty much final. I have noticed you staring. Jongin will eventually realise where you are looking, too. To be honest, it’s a wonder he hasn’t yet.”

Taemin stared mutely at Baekhyun. No one ever told him that. In his previous pack, the pack hierarchy decided everything. Mates didn’t pick each other.

“You are both so lovey-dovey without even doing anything, I doubt you need to fear a rejection,” Baekhyun said and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Taemin’s head was spinning. In theory, he had always considered Jongin the only one he would potentially want to mate, but why had his wolf all of a sudden decided it wanted the other? It complicated matters unnecessarily. Mating was a big deal. It was for life. What if Jongin mated him, just because Taemin asked? He didn’t want that.

He schooled his expression when Jongin joined them.

“This one is a devil. I swear.”

Jongin was dripping everywhere. The scowl on his face as he held a grumpy Lucas away from his body made Taemin grin despite his inner turmoil.

“A devil you spoil like crazy,” Taemin said and took Lucas to dry him.

“He is cute. It’s totally unfair!” Jongin exclaimed and pulled off his soaked shirt.

Taemin quickly focused on Lucas to avoid seeing the other’s naked torso. Did he already dry him behind his ears? Twice wouldn’t hurt.

Baekhyun laughed at Jongin’s misfortune but also handed him some cloth to dry off with.

They made a bigger fire for this night to dry their wet belongings.

“We should find a place for the winter soon. The nights are getting cold and the cubs need warmth,” Baekhyun observed when their fire was big enough.

Taemin changed into his wolf form and curled around them in their nest to warm them up in case they were still cold from their bath. Wolf cubs were resilient, but he agreed with Baekhyun. They would have to find somewhere warm soon.

“I don’t think we are going to find a pack we can join,” Jongin said as he dried his hair close to the fire.

“No, I don’t think so either,” Baekhyun said thoughtfully.

“A cave?” Jongin proposed.

“It wouldn’t be ideal, but okay. I have never been to this area. You?”

Jongin shook his head. They hadn’t come past a big enough cave that would fit all of them either.

“Ideally, would be an abandoned village.”

“Like your old one?” Jongin asked.

Baekhyun nodded thoughtfully.

“We shouldn’t go there, though. The reason there was so much tension was that the area was crowded. We wouldn’t be able to live in peace.”

Jongin sighed.

“We will have to keep our eyes open.”

Taemin stayed with the cubs for the night as it got colder than was comfortable and Baekhyun and Jongin curled up close to them.

They searched for a place to stay every day, but it was difficult. They couldn’t just ask other wolves whether they knew a safe spot for the winter and there wasn’t a particular scent to caves.

“Maybe we can find an abandoned village if there are a lot of old, cold scents?” Taemin mused.

They had taken a break. Mark seemed to have a bit of a stomach-ache and the little one had cried and wailed all day. At the moment, Jongin had him in his arms and rubbed his belly. At least, Mark had stopped crying for now. The crying zapped all of their energy. There was nothing worse than a baby in pain while being unable to do much. They should try to get some herbs the next time they traded.

“Oh, that’s not a bad idea,” Baekhyun agreed.

So far, they only followed fresh scents to find villages to trade with.

“If wolves lived there for a longer time, there should still be traces,” Jongin said. Mark wiggled and pressed closer to the other. Jongin cooed and cuddled him.

“It’s not Mark’s day,” Baekhyun observed.

Taemin meant to make an agreeing noise but got distracted by Ten. The little cub had pulled himself up at a tree and made two shaky steps before losing his balance and landing on his butt.

“Ten!” Taemin exclaimed excited and went to scoop the other up. Ten had always been the most coordinated of the cubs.

Ten was beaming.

“He walked two steps!” he explained. He threw the other into the air and caught him again. Ten squealed delightedly.

Immediately, Lucas crawled closer and reached out for Taemin.

Baekhyun laughed.

“You started it!”

Taemin pouted but resigned to throwing the cubs into the air. Taeyong didn’t like going up too far, while Lucas couldn’t get far enough and Ten swung his legs back for more speed. Mark, on the other hand, was content to continue his cuddle session with Jongin.

His arms tired quickly, but he hadn’t seen the cubs that excited in a while. So, he kept going as long as he could.

Because of Mark, they decided to make camp early even though they hadn’t walked that far. Baekhyun curled up with the cubs that night and Taemin couldn’t help himself and nudged his snout under Jongin’s as they both framed the nest.

They walked less aimlessly, as they tried to find cold scents of wolves. It was much harder than finding fresh ones.

Taemin tried to focus on it, but Jongin was a constant distraction.

Lucas had claimed his best friend after Mark had been impossible to separate from the tall beta for days. Seeing the other smile just because of some gibberish Lucas sprouted shouldn’t make Taemin feel all warm and fuzzy.

Then there was still the persistent urge to stare at Jongin’s neck. Thanks to Baekhyun, he now knew what it meant. He could feel it, too. The way his wolf moved in restless circles in his mind and pushed him for physical contact. It annoyed Taemin. It should be his choice when to touch Jongin. Therefore, he had resisted every time his wolf had been too insistent. It was a constant struggle. And it got worse by the day.

He could feel Baekhyun’s watchful eyes and Jongin’s confused ones. If he was obvious enough for Jongin to notice, he did a poor job of controlling his wolf.

*

They had successfully traded to replenish their supply and Jongin and Baekhyun took some of the cubs off him again now that they were done. Their trick had worked like always.

Jongin took a step back. A step closer again and sniffed him.

“Oh, is that why?”

“What?” Taemin asked suspiciously.

“You have been off lately. Your rut is approaching. Is that why?”

Taemin saw Baekhyun facepalm behind Jongin’s back.

“But would he feel it days in advance?” Baekhyun asked ‘innocently’.

“Maybe. His last rut had to break by itself. It might have repercussions.”

“Oh, are you feeling alright?” Baekhyun asked with real concern.

Taemin nodded.

He wasn’t happy to hear he was going into rut, but he didn’t feel unwell. It would explain why his wolf was even antsier and wanted nothing more than to plaster his front to Jongin’s.

“We should make sure to get as far away from the village as possible,” Jongin said and continued securing Ten to his front.  
“Absolutely,” Baekhyun agreed and strapped Taeyong and Mark to his front.

They walked at a brisk pace to leave the camp far behind. When they reached a good spot for their night camp, Taemin felt a strange combination of exhaustion and nervous energy.

Lucas wasn’t that heavy by himself, but he was glad to take him off and put him down with the other cubs.

“How do you want to do this tonight?” Jongin asked him in a low voice.

Taemin looked at the other confusedly.

“Would you like me to stay away?”

“What?”

“You have been keeping your distance lately,” Jongin said with a minimal shrug.

It must have been his wolf that acted in the spur of the moment, but for once, Taemin didn’t mind as he tackled Jongin.

He had caught the other off guard and they tumbled to the floor together.

“Smooth,” Baekhyun commented from where he was building their fire.

Jongin heaved a breath and then laughed.

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no.”

Taemin nodded and buried his face in Jongin’s neck and scent. His wolf was going to be in charge tonight either way. He might as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Taekai still need to figure some things out, but Baekhyun got the ball rolling.
> 
> I am unsure at the moment how many more chapters I will write. I have the plot in my mind, but I am really bad at guessing how much it is in a word document. Two chapters? Maybe. I hope you stick with me till the end.
> 
> Stay safe and healthy <3


	10. Cheating Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)
> 
> First of all, I am sorry. Only last chapter I said I wanted to post every week once and now it took me more than two weeks. I got knocked out by a cold (thankfully not Corona) and then had a lot of work to catch up with. I had a bit of writer's block, too. I think? I knew what I wanted to write and I wrote it, but it all sounded wrong. To an extent, it still does...So, I am sorry about that, too. I'll consider it a chance to grow (eventually:D).

They helped Baekhyun get the babies ready for the night. Taemin didn’t feel comfortable leaving the other with the cubs to his own devices for the whole night but spending another rut without Jongin was out of the question for him. He wanted the other’s skin on his own.

“Do you have everything you need?” 

Baekhyun sent him a look. He might have asked that question for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

“Sorry,” Taemin said. His rut alone made him feel antsy but leaving Baekhyun unprotected certainly added to his nerves. 

“It is not that long ago that I took care of them alone,” Baekhyun reminded him.  
“Of course,” Taemin said with a sigh and tugged the clothes more over a sleeping Lucas. He stepped back to observe his handy work. They should get some proper furs for the nights.

Hands landed on his shoulders from behind and pressed down to root him to the spot.

Taemin hadn’t even noticed he had flitted all over the place.

“We won’t be that far away,” Jongin reminded him.

“Right,” Taemin said to calm himself.

“As reassuring as it is to see you turn into a cute mess rather than an aggressive raging alpha due to your rut, I think it is time for the two of you to go and do what you do to break Taemin’s rut,” Baekhyun said pointedly.

“Okay,” Taemin said. They checked one more time on the cubs and then Baekhyun unceremoniously shoved them away.

Jongin and he left to find a place that would be far enough for some privacy, but not too far either. 

“You are earlier than usual. Do you feel different, too?” Jongin asked as they walked. The sun was just starting to set, and the days were much shorter. Taemin hoped that for his next rut they would have found a place to stay and they owned some furs. It was going to be uncomfortably cold tonight.

“I don’t know,” Taemin said honestly. “Last time, you weren’t there. So, that had me stressed from the start as well, but I do feel like everything is happening faster.”

“Let’s find a good spot soon then.” 

They found a mossy patch that was framed by some bushes. Another wolf would be able to scent them, but at least the moss would make it a bit softer.

Taemin kneaded his fingers as they stood in front of each other. The way Jongin was observing him told him he had to initiate this. Why did he feel so awkward? Because of his wolf? Because it wanted Jongin as its mate? Things had felt easier when it had just been about breaking his rut. He knew he didn’t have to put more meaning into being intimate with Jongin than before. Ultimately, they were the same people as when Jongin’s neck had just been that, Jongin’s neck. However, looking at Jongin and knowing the other was his mate made his heart beat a mile a minute.

He had waited too long. A frown had settled between Jongin’s eyebrows and he could tell the other was starting to become concerned. He needed to nip that in the bud.

Taemin pulled Jongin closer by the hips and kissed him. The other’s scent was comforting in its familiarity. He let his hands wander over the other’s shoulders, chest and back as their lips slowly moved together. He felt the need to map out the other’s body anew even though it was almost as familiar as his own to him. His heightened senses seemed to take in even more details. Jongin let him touch and kept his hands lightly on Taemin’s waist. Taemin had been edgy just moments ago but kissing Jongin calmed down his nerves. It felt like coming home. He kept it slow and gentle. Despite having his rut, he wanted to take his time to enjoy what they were doing. Jongin let him take the lead. Softly, he bit into the other’s plush bottom lip and Jongin opened his mouth a bit. Taemin dipped his tongue inside. The hairs on the back of his neck rose when their tongues moved alongside each other. 

A warm hand settled in his nape and Taemin let his head fall back more and let Jongin take the lead. Jongin sucked at his tongue and made him moan. Taemin reached up his arms to wrap them around the other’s neck. Their chests brushed together. Chasing the contact, Taemin leant his upper body against Jongin’s. An excited shiver travelled down his back that contrasted sharply with the warm feeling that settled in his chest as their lips and tongues moved in synch.

They kept kissing and switched back and forth with taking the lead. Taemin made sure to map the other’s mouth completely. Jongin seemed to like it when he switched between kissing him deeply and giving his bottom lip small nips. Taemin eventually moved on to kissing Jongin’s sharp jawline. He had always found it attractive in the other. Jongin tipped his head to the side to give him more room. Immediately, Taemin’s attention zeroed into the other’s neck. He pressed his lips to it and suckled gently on the skin. A loud groan left Jongin and Taemin could smell the other’s pleasure spike. A hickey quickly bloomed under his attentions and the urge to bite the other suddenly overwhelmed him. 

Taemin stumbled back several steps as if burned as he tried to put a tight leash on his wolf. He was breathing heavily as he dared a look up through his lashes. 

Jongin’s eyes narrowed.

“I wasn’t sure the past days, but I am not imagining this. You want to bite me.”

A heavy silence followed Jongin’s words. Taemin bit his bottom lip as his brain wrangled with what to do. Because of his rut, he felt slightly out of it, but they had to talk about this. There wasn’t any sense in keeping this longer to himself. He had had time to think about this and he was sure. Especially, now that he had kissed the other again. He wanted Jongin.

Taemin took a deep breath.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Jongin repeated unsure.

“I want to bite you,” Taemin clarified.

Jongin swayed and Taemin took an alarmed step forward. The other blew out his breath and sat down on the ground heavily.

Taemin sniffed the air, but Jongin’s scent was a confusing mess. Worried, he got down on his knees and approached in slow careful movements. Jongin mutely watched him come closer.

He stopped next to the other’s knees and sat back on his heels.

“Do you know what that means? Has anyone ever told you?” Jongin asked in a low voice.

“Baekhyun told me.”

Jongin groaned and buried his face in his hands.

“That’s why he kept talking about mates. I thought he longed for his own. I am such an oblivious idiot.”

“Look, I understand that this comes out of the blue. We don’t have to do anything about this,” Taemin reassured. He wanted to touch Jongin’s hands or shoulder badly, but he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Jongin seemed to be completely overwhelmed.

Jongin looked at him through his fingers.

“Out of the blue is one way to put it. Usually, the second you meet your mate after you presented, you know. This wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.”

Taemin frowned. He didn’t have any explanation as to why he was so late. Maybe because he had loathed his wolf when it forced him into a role he didn’t want. Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. His rut was starting to reach the stage where it was painful again. Sweat was beading on his forehead at the familiar sensations. It made him feel a tightness in his chest as it brought back memories of his previous rut. They had to talk about this more some other time.

“I promise I won’t just bite you. If you want to leave, I’ll join you and Baekhyun when I am done.” 

Jongin’s head snapped up.

“God, you are in pain. I am so sorry. I’ll snap out of it.”

“Look, it’s fine. I should have talked about this earlier and not waited till I had my rut.”

Jongin reached for him and tried to pull him closer. 

“Wait, do you still want to do this? If it makes you uncomfortable…” Taemin trailed off. 

“I have known since the day I became a beta. It’s not always mutual, so I figured that’s it. So, no, I am not uncomfortable.”

Taemin opened and closed his mouth. He had so many questions and things to say. A sharp pain shot up his spin that made him clench his teeth. It felt like the pain was coming faster than last time.

“Later,” Jongin said determinedly.

“But Jongin, this is important. I can’t believe you kept that a secret for months.”

“This is important, too. You don’t need another traumatising rut. There wasn’t any point to it.”

“I beg to differ!”

“Taemin, please. I can smell your pain.”

Taemin didn’t budge as he tried to view all their interactions under a new light. 

“I am a beta. Betas don’t mate. I always hoped that if I turned out to be a beta, I would never meet my mate. Although, a small part of me always thought it had to be you. I wanted to be an alpha so badly because it would give me the greatest chance to claim them. As insane as it always seemed, maybe, even claim you before you got mated to some brainless buff alpha worthy of being the pack leader. However, I turned out to be a beta. So, all of this doesn’t matter.”

Taemin had never wanted to be violent towards Jongin, but right now, he wanted to drum his fists against the other’s chest. It never mattered to him personally that Jongin was a beta.

He had always known that Jongin wanted to be an alpha, but he had always thought it was only about betas being second-class citizen. He had not known it also had to do with Jongin’s wish to mate. 

Taemin couldn’t believe he had been Jongin’s chosen mate for months and the other had not said a word once.

“I was right there under your nose. Literally!” His scent must have driven the other insane.

“You apparently weren’t ready. Moreover, it would have made matters even worse, don’t you think so? If I had told you, what good would that have done? I had to stay in the beta hut. By the time I would have gotten out, your father would have made you choose an omega.”

“I never would have mated them.”

“I felt guilty about that, but the fact that you never let anyone but me close to you comforted me more than it should have,” Jongin admitted in a low voice.

Taemin clenched his jaw. It was getting harder to concentrate. The pain was clawing at his consciousness and he knew they had to talk about this more later. As much as he wanted to disabuse Jongin of the notion that betas weren’t allowed to mate. Especially now that they had their own pack, but his body didn’t allow for them to take their time.

“Taemin, please,” the other pleaded with him.

“Okay, but we won’t mate now. I need to be clear-headed to judge whether this is really what you want.”

Jongin snorted.

“It’s me who doesn’t want to take advantage of your vulnerable state. Don’t worry, I won’t mate you when it might just be your rut talking.”

An unvoluntary laugh left Taemin’s lips, he had to admit they were utterly ridiculous. Taemin had known since his conversation with Baekhyun, and Jongin had apparently known for months. They wouldn’t rush into anything they didn’t mean.

A cramp that enveloped his whole lower body made Taemin grimace. This was new.

Taemin leant into the hands that reached for him. Jongin pulled him close and pressed a kiss to his lips. 

The second Jongin’s lips left his, his attention wandered back to the strong pulse under the other’s skin right at his neck. His wolf was driving him insane. How had Jongin kept this a secret for so long?

“Take me from behind?” He didn’t trust his wolf enough not to claim Jongin while he was out of it.

“If you want it like that.”

Taemin nodded. He quickly got rid of his clothes and then tore out some moss and made a small pile. When he got on his front, it elevated his hips slightly. He was too far gone to carry his weight. It was surprisingly comfortable. 

“Are you sure? I could hold your hips up. If I come from above like this, I might go too deep,” Jongin said as he undressed as well. 

“Perfect,” Taemin said and spread his legs as wide as they could go. 

“God, have you any idea how you look spread out like this?”

Taemin rested his head on his arms.

“No idea.”

“Gorgeous.”

Warm lips pressed against his spin and goosebumps travelled over his whole body. Being blind to Jongin’s actions heightened Taemin’s other senses. He listened for every movement and twitched at every gentle touch to his back. Jongin placed a finger against his nape and slowly moved it down his spin. Taemin held his breath when it reached his lower spin and continued on. It moved between his buttocks and stopped just above his hole. Wetness dribbled on his hole and the finger moved the last centimetre. A shiver wracked Taemin’s body as the finger started to massage his hole. He had missed that feeling. His hole gave way and Jongin pressed in slowly. Taemin curled his toes into the moss below him at the welcomed stretch and burn. Jongin moved his fingers slowly deeper and Taemin melted into the ground as the pain receded and the first tendrils of pleasure bloomed in his lower body. 

“More,” he demanded. He wanted more. He didn’t mind some stretch and burn if it meant he would get to feel the other’s cock sooner.

“You are tight, Taem.”

“Please.”

Jongin cursed, added some more oil and very carefully pressed another finger in. It burned, but he was ready for it. He didn’t even tense up.

Taemin arched his back and moaned. He stuck his butt out more and tried to move back, but Jongin immediately placed a hand on his lower back to keep him down.

He whined low in his throat. He knew Jongin could go deeper than that. 

“I understand that you are impatient, but I am not forcing my way into you.”

Jongin lay down next to him. The other hiked up his leg on the side he wasn’t lying on and draped his thigh over the other. 

Taemin enjoyed the weight on his leg, even though, he suspected it was meant to keep him from moving.

He felt Jongin’s breath against his ear. The other nudged his head to the side and pressed his lips to his neck. Taemin shuddered. The simultaneous stimulation on his neck and in his butt was heady. 

His fingers clawed into the earth as his pleasure skyrocketed. As Jongin’s lips and tongue tormented him right over his pulse, his prostate got stimulated at the same time. Taemin moaned loudly. He wanted to move his body down to chase those fingers, at the same time, he wanted to press up to keep Jongin’s mouth on his neck.   
He whined.

“Nini.”

“I’ve got you.” Jongin scissored and thrust his fingers and Taemin tried to hike his leg up even more.

It almost felt like absolution when a third finger entered his body. The pain had completely receded by now and he only felt pleasure as Jongin rubbed his fingertips against his prostate and had to have given him a dark, purple love bite by now.

“I am ready,” Taemin panted. His whole body felt like a tightly wound spring. He would go insane if Jongin didn’t fuck him now.

“Please,” he begged. His body twitched from the pleasure despite being kept down. Jongin kissed up his neck, jaw and stopped at his lips. Taemin was breathing too hard to properly kiss back but tried.

“Okay,” Jongin said against his lips and moved.

The other moved out of his field of version and the hairs on Taemin’s body rose in anticipation as he felt the other’s body heat over his. 

He moaned unashamedly when Jongin rubbed the wet tip of his cock over his opening. 

“If I go too deep, tell me.”

“Yes,” Taemin said and wiggled his butt. Jongin took it as the cue it was and pressed in. Something in Taemin uncurled and he became limp as the tension left that he had carried in his body for weeks. The pleasure was still overwhelming, but he also felt high.

“Are you okay?” Jongin nudged his head with his nose.

“Never better,” Taemin slurred. 

Jongin hesitated, but then pushed deeper.

It was much deeper than Taemin had ever experienced. It felt like Jongin had pushed the oxygen out of his lungs with his cock. He gasped for air as he got used to the deep stretch. He didn’t think it would be possible for his body to take anymore. Jongin was just perfectly tickling his limit. Jongin’s body rested lightly on his and he knew the other had to power through on his arms. He felt safe and vulnerable at the same time.

“So good,” Taemin said to reassure the other he could take it. 

Jongin pulled out halfway and thrust back in. Their rhythm was slow but intense. The thrusts were deep and firm. Taemin felt each in his bones. The other made sure to move their hips slightly with each thrust to create some friction on Taemin’s cock against the moss. The noises of their lovemaking filled their surroundings. Taemin’s throat left small noises with each thrust he arched into. Jongin brushed his prostate with every thrust in and the pleasure in his body climbed higher and higher. Jongin’s groans and moans mixed with his.

The other’s speed picked up slightly and the pleasure tightened impossibly. Taemin’s climax completely overwhelmed him as he finally tipped over the edge. 

Black spots danced in his version when he came to again. Jongin was lying on his body and flattening him to the ground. The other’s pants caressed the shell of his ear. 

Taemin let his eyes slip close as he enjoyed the afterglow and having Jongin this close. He could feel that they were still connected.

“Not rushing to get off?” he mumbled.

“I figured I might indulge you.”

Taemin hummed contentedly. He reached for Jongin’s hands and held on to them over his head. Jongin nuzzled his temple.

“I’ll have to move soon though. I am starting to feel sensitive.”

Taemin nodded his understanding. Jongin stayed still for a few more seconds and then gently disentangled their fingers to push himself up.

The other moved carefully as he pulled out. The second the other left his body, however, the content satedness dissipated and Taemin jerked horrified as the previous pain bloomed again.

Jongin immediately turned him over.

“Minnie?”

“No,” Taemin groaned and buried his face in his hands.

“What happened? You didn’t come? You became so tight, I thought…”

“I did, but it didn’t break,” Taemin said. He clenched his teeth. 

“Okay, okay,” Jongin said and pulled him up into his arms. “It might be because your last had to break on its own.”

“And now?”

“You will have to come again,” Jongin said with a wince. Taemin knew that would be the answer, but he had hoped for a small wonder.

“Do you want to wait a small moment, or do you want to do it right away?”

“What can we even do right now?” Taemin hated the feeling of his rut, but Jongin wasn’t experiencing one, and therefore, wouldn’t get hard again that quickly. His cock, on the other hand, was resting hard and heavy on his stomach as if he had not had the most earth-shattering orgasm just moments ago.

“Let’s try something,” Jongin said and pushed Taemin down by his shoulder. Taemin let himself be manoeuvred till he was lying sideways over the other’s thighs. Jongin encouraged him to pull his legs up to his chest. 

“What are we doing?”

“Something I heard about from one of the few alphas that seemed to care about their mate. Sometimes some of the alphas sat around the village fire and bragged about their sexual prowess. Most of it violent shit, but some has proven useful,” Jongin explained and smoothed his hand down the back of Taemin’s thigh.

“You seemed way too experienced…”

Jongin smiled at that.

“I just pay attention to the signs you give me.”

Taemin forwent answering in favour of moaning as a finger entered his hole. The oversensitivity was intense, but at the same time pleasure immediately drowned out the pain of his rut.

“Urgh.”

“Too much?”

“Yes. No? Keep going.”

Jongin lifted an eyebrow but continued drawing steady circles against his prostate. 

“Feeling my own cum inside you is…”

“Dirty?” Taemin asked as he dropped his head back as he gave himself over to the strange mix of oversensitivity, pleasure and pressure. 

“Hot,” Jongin corrected.

Taemin hummed as the pressure climbed slowly. The only stimulation came from Jongin’s finger, but it was enough to make him experience shivers of pleasure. He had expected thrusting, but the steady circles surprisingly made his lower body contract and feel strangely full. Jongin moved his free hand over his body gently as he kept up the movements inside him without losing his rhythm. 

He looked up at Jongin. The other had a concentrated frown between his eyebrows. By now, the sun had set, and the moon was high in the sky. The full moon sharply illuminated the other’s features. Jongin looked ethereal.

A warmth built behind his pubic bone as the tension heightened. He had no control over the contractions that shook his body. Jongin slung his free arm around his thighs to keep him in place.

Taemin dug his fingers against Jongin’s chest to have anything to hold on to. Whatever Jongin was doing, it was overwhelming him quickly.

His body started trembling as he felt his orgasm approaching. Instead of hitting him sharply, it came in waves as his lower body contracted and released repeatedly. The wave crested in his lower abdomen and swapped over his whole body. His legs, arms chest. He even felt it in his brain. Jongin kept up the pressure and the waves kept coming and coming. It felt like he was coming for forever. He could do nothing but gasp and tremble as the waves carried him to never be for experienced heights.

When it finally stopped, he was lying boneless in Jongin’s lap.

“So, men can have multiple orgasms,” Jongin observed.

Taemin could only look back exhaustedly.

“Did it break?”

Sluggishly, Taemin nodded. There was no way he wasn’t sated after that. His body felt light with the release but heavy with exhaustion at the same time.

With a satisfied nod, Jongin pulled him up into his arms and rubbed his back. Taemin hadn’t even realised he was cooling down.

*

When Taemin woke up, his muscles felt like lead. Moving seemed like an impossibility, he did not wish to engage in any time soon. It felt like his eyelids were getting weighed down by stones, but he still fought them open. He could see behind his eyelids that the sun had to be up already. He stared numbly at the caramel-coloured fur in his face. His fingers twitched and he could feel soft fur between them as well.

Jongin was curled around him in his wolf’s form, his brain finally supplied the sought-for information.

Taemin let his eyes slip close again. As long as he was with Jongin, everything was fine.

“Hey, Minnie.” His shoulder was being shaken and he woke from a dreamless sleep.

“It’s already quite late. Baekhyun will get worried if we don’t return soon,” Jongin told him. 

“Yeah,” he mumbled and rubbed his eyes as he forced his body into a sitting position.

“Exhausted?”

He nodded but stopped mid-nod. There was something they had to talk about before returning to Baekhyun.

“Good morning, mate,” he said and carefully observed Jongin’s reaction. The other fumbled with his shirt and his ears definitely looked red. So far so good, but Jongin was way too focused on putting his clothes back on for what Taemin had just said.

“Are you avoiding my eyes?” The other certainly was.

“Aren’t you too tired to talk about this?”

Taemin felt like someone just poured ice over him. Jongin didn’t want to talk about them being mates?

“You don’t want me.”

Jongin made a sound between a laugh and a scoff.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What else is this about? Nothing else matters.”

“I am a beta.”

Taemin stared incredulously at the other. Jongin couldn’t be serious, but he obviously was. Taemin still couldn’t catch his eyes. As he watched the other, he realised Jongin never really told him what happened in that beta hut. Something must have happened in that hut. 

“So what?” Taemin challenged. 

Jongin was done dressing and agitatedly moved his fingers through his hair but didn’t say anything.

“You can’t be serious. If betas really didn’t mate, you wouldn’t have found yours the second you presented. We do not have to follow the arbitrary rules of our old pack anymore. If betas can feel their mate, then it is stupid to say they can’t act on it.”

“I guess…” Jongin didn’t continue.

“When you said it didn’t matter that you didn’t tell me you were my mate, did you mean to say you won’t mate at all ?” Taemin asked slowly. He’d never force Jongin to mate him, but he needed to know where they stood.

Jongin couldn’t answer him.

“Okay, let’s go and find some water. I need to clean up a bit,” Taemin said tonelessly and got up. His limbs still felt heavy, but he wanted to get back to Baekhyun and the cubs as soon as possible. This standstill with Jongin was unbearably painful. It wasn’t easy for him to stomach that Jongin didn’t want him. Or didn’t want him enough.

As quickly as he could, he got dressed and they followed their noses to a small creek. Taemin washed his body fast. The water was freezing. His clothes clung to his wet skin and didn’t help much at raising his body temperature.

“Let’s run back in our wolf’s form. It is damn cold.”

“I just don’t feel like I am allowed to,” Jongin said in a low voice. 

Taemin spun back around quickly. 

“There is no one that can forbid us anything anymore. To me, you are just Jongin. I don’t think it would have made a difference if you had been an alpha or omega instead. I have followed your every step since we were kids. You were my home before we left our old camp, and you are so now. Thinking back, my wolf had already chosen you before we left. I wanted to bite you back then when we gave each other hickeys. I beat up Chihun because he threatened you. It’s all been there before, but I guess you were right, I might not have been ready then. Still, everything I did was with you in mind.” 

Why wasn’t he better at reassuring people? He wanted to convey so badly just how much Jongin meant to him.

“Whatever they told you in that beta hut, whatever they made you believe in, they got it all wrong because they know absolutely nothing about you. You have every right to live your life as any other alpha, beta or omega.” Taemin said and reached out. He gently squeezed Jongin’s fingers. The other was blinking his eyes. Taemin could tell he had touched the crux of the matter.

“They always said to keep the pack going, omegas and alphas had to reproduce. Since betas couldn’t do that, it is their job to support the pack by serving them.”

“Since we already have four cubs to care for, I don’t think that’s something we even need to think about,” Taemin said gently.

Jongin nodded.

“Does it matter to you that I am an alpha? You always thought your mate would be an omega, didn’t you?” Taemin asked. 

“I want to claim you so badly.”

Taemin stepped closer until he stood right in front of Jongin. “Then do it.”

“Are you even sure you want this? You kept your distance before your rut.”

Taemin felt embarrassed.

“I didn’t like my wolf butting in like that, but ultimately we want the same,” Taemin admitted. 

Jongin closed his eyes and leant his forehead against Taemin’s.

“Can you claim me first?” The other asked.

Taemin bit his bottom lip.

“Would you claim me back?” he asked uncertainly. 

“Yes, I think it would feel less forbidden.”

“And you won’t leave me hanging?”

“You know me better than that.”

“I do,” Taemin admitted. This felt daunting, but he was determined. 

He loved Jongin. 

“It’s not forbidden,” he said to further reassure the other.

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Jongin’s shoulders and got on his toes. He took a deep breath and pressed his mouth to the skin of Jongin’s neck. The other’s pulse was racing.

He waited for Jongin to shove him off, but the other hugged him back instead. Closing his eyes, he let his wolf take control.

His teeth pierced Jongin’s skin lightly and he tasted the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. Immediately, a shapeless, comforting warmth wrapped around him. He felt like he had developed a new sense. One that was just for Jongin. His presence, his scent, his taste, the feeling against his skin, it was all amplified, but not overwhelmingly so. It was better than a hickey. He could immediately tell that the bond was there to stay.

Taemin licked over the wound and leant back.

“I can feel you. Can you feel me, too?”

“Not yet.” Jongin dipped his head down. There was a short, sharp pain in his neck before a feeling of wholeness settled in his bones.

“Now, I can.”

They continued standing together and felt each other out through their new bond. Very carefully, to not aggravate the new wound, they nosed each other’s neck. 

“Do you regret it?” Taemin asked.

“No, I feel like I cheated fate.”

Taemin grinned at that. They did what would have been impossible last summer.

“I know I have not told you things before and I understand that I need to be more open, too, but I want to know when something is weighting you down. Especially, when it is something so big.”

Jongin nodded at his words.

“Taemin, I love you. Very much.”

His heart did a somersault in his chest.

“I love you, too, Jongin.”

The words were foreign on his tongue but felt right in his heart. 

They pulled apart and Taemin looked up at the sky. The sun was already setting again.

“Baekhyun!” Taemin suddenly remembered.

Jongin’s eyes widened alarmed. 

They immediately changed into their wolves and took off.

Taemin could already smell the rest of their small pack before they reached their camp and a load fell off his shoulders. He had already feared Baekhyun had thought they left without him and left as well.

They skidded to a halt in front of their camp.

Baekhyun was upset. They could smell it from a distance. The other was trying to calm a crying Taeyong who looked just as distressed as the male holding him.

Jongin had changed back in a heartbeat and gently took Taeyong from Baekhyun. Taemin took that as his cue to awkwardly wrap his arms around Baekhyun. This might be the first time he hugged someone who was not Jongin, but he felt like it was the only right thing to do. The other looked wrecked. 

“We are so sorry,” he said ruefully. 

Baekhyun only nodded and hugged him back tightly.

“I had no fucking idea how long your rut takes. I should have asked.”

Jongin wrapped them both in a half-hug. He was still holding Taeyong who was only sniffling by now.

“No, it’s our fault. We took much longer than usual.”

“My rut was much more intense than the previous times,” Taemin explained.

“Yes, and then I needed to be babied and reassured that it is okay for me to mate,” Jongin said self-deprecatingly.

Baekhyun lifted his head and pulled Taemin’s shirt aside to get a good view at his marked neck.

“About time. I guess getting mated is a valid excuse. Why did you need to be babied, though?”

“I am a beta and somehow…”

“Ah, the beta hut,” Baekhyun said knowingly before Jongin could explain further.

Taemin stared at them in disbelieve. Apparently, he was the only one who had been out of the loop.

“If you are constantly told you are worthless and only meant to serve, it gets to you eventually,” Baekhyun explained.

“Funny, how my favourite people are all betas or are identified as,” Taemin deadpanned.

“One of them might turn out to be an alpha or omega,” Jongin warned and nodded towards the cubs to their feet.

“Let’s raise them right then. So, that it doesn’t matter,” Baekhyun said.

Taemin nodded and let go of the other. He got down and prevented Lucas from crawling away by picking him up. 

“Should we stay the night here since it is already quite late?” Jongin proposed.

“Yes, please. I am utterly exhausted,” Taemin said. His limbs still felt like jelly, especially, after their sprint back to their pack.

“Me too,” Baekhyun admitted.

The cubs were much more clingy and harder to put to sleep.

“So, they do care about who is around to change their nappies,” Jongin observed. 

“They all had a mental breakdown. Taeyong was just the one to hold out the longest. After all, it was the first time the two of you were gone that long since we met,” Baekhyun said.

Eventually, they lay down with the cubs till they slowly dozed off in their arms. Gently, they moved them to their make-shift bed and Baekhyun joined them for the night. 

Before he could change into his wolf, Taemin got pulled around by the nape. His noise of surprise got muffled by Jongin’s lips. The other sucked gently on his bottom lip till Taemin opened his mouth. 

Taemin’s attention zeroed in on the warmth of Jongin as everything else vanished into the background. He sighed as they kissed each other breathless. 

Jongin leant his forehead against his after they pulled apart to breathe. 

“I hope you know what you got yourself into.”

Taemin smiled.

“I was never confused about that.” He pressed another lingering kiss to Jongin’s lips.

*

They continued travelling and their pack dynamic didn’t change much. Taemin could sense Jongin’s emotions better and they snuck a few kisses behind Baekhyun’s back. The other gave them plenty of chances and Taemin felt slightly guilty for not being able to keep his hands to himself. Otherwise, they continued trying to find cold scents of wolves that might lead them to an abandoned village. 

After another week, they picked up several crisscrossing scents that were washed out by rain and other elements.

Baekhyun sent them a meaningful look.

Taemin hoped they got lucky. The nights were getting awfully cold and he felt like the first snow wasn’t far off anymore. 

After tracking the scents for two days they reached a collection of small huts. It was much smaller than most of the camps they had been to to trade.

“It looks abandoned,” Jongin commented. 

“We should scout it out more before going into it with the cubs, don’t you think so?” Taemin said and let his eyes wander over the huts. They looked damaged and some looked like they might collapse any moment, but there were enough materials to do repairs. 

“Definitely,” Jongin agreed. “Baekhyun, do you want to stay here with them? Taemin and I have some fighting experience.”

“Sure, give them here.”

After tying the babies to Baekhyun in case they need to make a quick escape, Taemin and Jongin got closer to the huts. 

They stayed close to each other as they looked in through windows and doors. They inspected the outside once before entering every hut and checking whether someone might be hiding.

“It’s safe,” Jongin called loudly after they were done. 

Taemin could barely believe their luck. Sure, they would have to do some repairs, but it looked like they had found a place to stay.

“Is there a hut that is safe to live in?” Baekhyun asked after he joined them.

“The big one in the centre looks pretty good. The door is broken, but that’s no big deal. The roof and walls look good,” Jongin said. 

“Wow…” Baekhyun said and smiled.

“It has enough space for all of us, too.”

“So, you don’t want your own hut?” Baekhyun asked and waggled his eyebrows pointedly.

“We might prepare one for Taemin’s rut and for when, you know, but I don’t want to separate from the cubs, and it doesn’t feel right to separate them either. So, I am afraid you are still stuck with us.”

“The pains of shared custody,” Baekhyun said dramatically, but the broad grin on his lips showed how giddy he was.

They set out to clean their new home. While Jongin checked what furs they could still use and kept the cubs out of danger, Baekhyun and Taemin got a door from one of the other huts and worked out how to fit it into the frame.

By the time it got dark, they had an improvised bed for the cubs, a fire burning and two sleeping places that actually were soft enough to be called a bed for them.

Baekhyun was lying spreadeagled on his.

“I am never getting up again.”

“How long has it been since we slept on a bed?” Taemin mused as he pulled Ten and Lucas up into the bed for him and Jongin. They had tried to get up and looked exasperated with their lack of success.

“In another lifetime,” Jongin said and squeezed in between Taemin and the wall.

*

They improved their hut every day a bit more. On their second day, they were discussing that they had to go and get new milk for the cubs when there was a knock on their door.

They stilled and looked at each other wide-eyed. They had been so distracted, they had not noticed the two wolves in front of their door get closer. 

Taemin was the first to jump into action. He grabbed the cubs form their play-fur and deposited them in Baekhyun’s lap.

Jongin approached the door and Taemin got in his fighting stance right behind him.

“Hello,” a voice greeted them cheerfully the second they opened the door.

Taemin peered around Jongin to be greeted by friendly smiles.

“Hello,” Jongin said back uncertainly.

“No need to worry, we come in peace. We are your neighbours so to say,” the shorter of the two said. They were both betas.

“Oh,” Taemin said. They probably should have scouted their immediate surroundings out more instead of just making their hut homey.

“We realised there were new scents around and decided to say hello and maybe offer some support.”

And probably check whether they were a threat to their pack, Taemin thought to himself. 

He dropped his fighting stance when he realised, he had been frozen.

There was an awkward pause and Taemin figured now would be the moment to ask them to come in, but despite their friendly appearance, he felt wary. Especially, the taller beta looked like he could be serious competition to Jongin.

The shorter beta must have noticed his apprehensive gaze.

“Oh, don’t worry. Chanyeol is an absolute softy and only fights when he has to.”

Hesitantly, they stepped back to allow them in. Without having to communicate, Jongin and Taemin moved to frame Baekhyun and the cubs.

“Aww, so we did smell right. You have cubs,” the beta who was not Chanyeol cooed.

“These are Taeyong, Ten, Lucas and Mark. This is Jongin, this Taemin and I am Baekhyun,” the other introduced them.

“It’s lovely to meet you. I am Jonghyun and this suspiciously silent man – what has gotten into you? – is Chanyeol.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally mated! Yay! Jongin's been keeping secrets, but Taemin won't let him anymore.
> 
> So, did I surprise you? I didn't specifically tag SHINee and Exo, but since it is so late in the fic I figured it didn't make much sense.
> 
> The next chapter will be the last. I am sure now. You can probably tell as well that we are nearing the end.


	11. Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~
> 
> It feels a bit strange to me that we actually reached the last chapter. If you are here, it means you stuck with this story and that means a lot to me. Thank you very much <3

Jongin gave the two betas a sign to make themselves comfortable. Jonghyun sat down on one of the wooden blocks they used as a bench and pulled Chanyeol down next to him.

There was a bit of an awkward pause as they all regarded each other with different levels of curiosity, but Jonghyun rallied quickly.

“So, you see. Our pack don’t live too far from here. We are a relatively small pack as well and don’t wish to get in trouble with anyone if we can help it. I take it you settled here because of the approaching winter?”

“Yes, we have been travelling for a while. It’s been okay so far, but the nights are getting colder and it didn’t feel safe with the cubs anymore,” Taemin said and observed their reaction to gauge how they felt about that. With their four cubs, they didn’t have to look like too much of a danger, but he certainly felt wary knowing there was another pack so close to them. 

Jonghyun immediately nodded his head at that. 

“I understand. We can help you if you need help. We are mostly just a bunch of betas that try to make things work. One of our pack leaders is an alpha and we have two omegas, but that’s about it.”

For the first time, Taemin thought that maybe their pack wasn’t the oddest out there. A pack of mostly betas sounded like something from a children’s tale. 

“You have more than one pack leader?” Jongin asked surprised. 

“Originally, we were two packs, but we realised we had the same mentality and merged to be safer. Jinki and Junmyeon have been managing things together since,” Jonghyun said with a shrug.

Taemin couldn’t believe his ears. An alpha and a beta working closely together? Only thinking about it made him excited. Being faced with Jonghyun and Chanyeol as scouts already told him that the structure of this foreign pack was nothing like the strict pack hierarchy Jongin and he had grown up with. 

“And the alpha doesn’t mind working together with a beta?” He asked curiously.

“Jinki? No, he is the softest person any of us ever met.”

“He sounds like someone Taemin might like to meet,” Jongin said.

“I figured that might be the case.” There was a knowing look in Jonghyun’s eyes. “You can meet him at any time. We just figured if Junmyeon and Jinki came here as pack leaders at the first meeting, we might give you a scare.”

Taemin nodded thoughtfully. That was considerate of them.

“I am afraid I have to ask a bit of a rude question as I cannot tell. Do you have a leader?” Jonghyun asked. The other was clearly uncomfortable asking them like that.

“That might be because we don’t have one. We call ourselves, a bit jokingly, parents,” Jongin said with a shrug and nodded towards the cubs in Baekhyun’s lap. They were suspiciously silent. They were all plastered closely to the other and eyed the intruders with varying degrees of intensity. The new scents had to be confusing.

“I never thought I would see a pack with an even flatter hierarchy than ours,” Jonghyun said awed. The two betas stared at them baffled.

“Since you offered to help us, we were actually just discussing that we have to trade with another pack soon. We need milk to feed the cubs,” Baekhyun said carefully. 

“Of course,” Jonghyun said with a smile.

“We have enough milk at our camp, don’t worry,” Chanyeol spoke for the first time. Taemin tilted his head and if he wasn’t mistaken the tall beta had his eyes glued to Baekhyun.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun said gratefully and they all relaxed a bit more. It was hard to tell from just this interaction, but it seemed they had gotten lucky for the first time. If the rest of the pack was as nice as Jonghyun and Chanyeol and this wasn’t some trick, they might have a much easier winter than anticipated. 

“How about we come by tomorrow again and pick you up to show you our village? We will have milk ready for you.” Jonghyun proposed. 

“Sounds good. Thank you,” Jongin said and Taemin nodded.

They said their goodbyes and Taemin and Jongin lead them to the door. Taemin blew out a breath when they were alone again. This had been interesting.

“They seem nice,” Jongin said and stepped up behind Taemin. He dropped his head forward when the other started to massage his shoulders. He hadn’t even realised how much he needed it.

“Say…” Baekhyun started but didn’t continue. 

Taemin lifted his head enough to look at the other through his bangs.

“Yes?” Jongin asked without pausing the movements of his fingers.

“What does it feel like when you find your mate? How do you know?”

“Chanyeol!” Taemin immediately exclaimed and Baekhyun buried his face in Taeyong’s belly. The baby took it as his chance to inspect the other’s ears.

“Well, it might have been different for us since we knew each other already, but I just wanted to be close to Taemin. I was obsessed with his scent. The urge to mark him up was overwhelming enough that I asked to be allowed to give him a hickey. I felt all warm and fuzzy when he unwittingly courted me. A downside is certainly the constant fear for his safety, but even that has gotten better since I can feel him through our bond. It eased my mind a great deal.”

“How can you ‘unwittingly’ court someone?” Baekhyun asked baffled and pulled his ear away from Taeyong with a wince.

“The pinecones and such?” Taemin asked and Jongin made an agreeing noise.

“I just brought him bit and pieces from the forest since he was caged into the beta hut. Those were hardly significant gifts.”

“They were significant to me and that is the only requirement. See, he is completely clueless.”

Baekhyun shook his head in disbelief.

Deciding to put the focus back on Baekhyun, Taemin brought them back to their previous topic.

“It was similar for me as Jongin described it. Also, I didn’t realise it back then yet, but when someone threatened Jongin, I bodily attacked them.”

Baekhyun hummed.

“Then there is, of course, the urge to kiss them silly, tackle them to the ground and have your wicked way with them,” Jongin’s voice was a deep as it ever got as he said that.

Taemin shuddered involuntarily as he imagined Jongin doing just that to him. 

Baekhyun’s ears got red at that and Taemin was sure it had nothing to do with Taeyong. 

“You think you found yours?” Jongin prodded gently. The other stepped away from Taemin and sat down next to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip for a long moment but then he nodded.

“He didn’t say much but he seemed nice,” Taemin said encouragingly. 

“He stared at you the whole time. I think it is safe to say that he felt something, too.” So, Jongin had noticed that as well.

“How great are the chances,” Baekhyun said in disbelief.

“Well, if you think about it, we travelled a lot and met all kind of wolves. We met much more people than the average wolf. That one turned out to be your possible mate is not that strange,” Taemin reasoned and picked up Mark and Ten so he could sit down on Baekhyun’s other side.

“I guess…”

“You don’t seem excited?” Jongin observed.

“It doesn’t seem real yet. Then there is the issue that I don’t even know what I am. I am most comfortable with identifying as a beta, but I am not really, am I? Never mind the cubs. I am not leaving them.”

“Chanyeol didn’t seem to be put off by them. And if I have learned one thing, it is that as long as you have the right mate, it doesn’t matter. So what if I am a bit too submissive during sex? Jongin has never cared.”

Baekhyun stared at Taemin and then nodded thoughtfully.

“I will try and talk to him for a bit.”

“That sounds like a reasonable first step,” Jongin said encouragingly.

“Urgh, I am not usually this hesitant.”

Taemin patted the other’s shoulder.

“Remember how scared I got because of Jongin when I realised, he was my mate? I have loved him for years before that. You don’t even know Chanyeol. Right?” Taemin looked up to get Jongin’s agreement only to be met by a wide-eyed stare.

“What?” He asked.

“It still surprises me when you say it so off-handily and without prompting.”

“If I get the chance to be half as sappy as you two, I will count myself lucky,” Baekhyun said as he looked at them exasperated.

“Jongin is the sappy one,” Taemin immediately argued.

“Yes, Mister ‘I will court my mate accidentally’,” Baekhyun teased. Taemin groaned and decided to go play with Ten and Mark. They couldn’t talk enough to tease him yet.

*

There was nervous energy around them as they waited for Chanyeol and Jonghyun the next day. They were ready to go, even though it had been a tough fight. Taemin and Jongin had insisted on taking two cubs each. Baekhyun had wanted to hear none of that. 

“You should busy yourself with getting to know Chanyeol. You can cuddle your nerves out with them afterwards,” Jongin had said. Baekhyun had fought them tooth and nail on that, arguing that it wasn’t fair, and they were all equally responsible for them.

“We will be right there if you need us,” Jongin had placed a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder and the other had visibly deflated and given in.

Jonghyun smiled brightly when they greeted each other again. Chanyeol wheezed out a ‘hello’ when he got elbowed into his side.

They started to walk and Taemin had to give it to Jonghyun. The other had managed to snag both him and Jongin and made Chanyeol and Baekhyun walk in front of them by themselves.

“So, I take it that Chanyeol said - eh?- something?” Taemin asked awkwardly. He honestly didn’t know how to act around Jonghyun. The other seemed so approachable, but it was a meddlesome question. He was wholly unprepared to interact with nice strangers. Baekhyun had been much easier. The other had needed help and there had been the cubs to bond over. This, however, was just strange.

“You really are quite cute,” Jonghyun stated. Taemin looked uncertainly at Jongin, but he could tell the other was trying to suppress a grin at his predicament.

“To answer your question, he couldn’t keep it to himself for more than the time it took to leave your hut. He is extremely talkative if he is not completely dumbstruck,” Jonghyun told them and watched the pair in front of them interestedly. They seemed to be trading a few words with a lot of pauses in between. They came past a shrub with small pinkish-white flowers and Chanyeol broke off a small branch.

They watched him twirl it between his thumb and index finger uncertainly.

“I have never seen him act like such a shy person,” Jonghyun said exasperated.

“Good,” Jongin said. “Baekhyun deserves someone sweet.”

They watched Chanyeol duck his head and suddenly he thrust the flowery branch at Baekhyun. The other jerked his head back surprised as it almost touched his nose. There was a pause and then Baekhyun burst out laughing. Still shaking with laughter, Baekhyun took the flowers and tucked them behind his left ear. Chanyeol looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Baekhyun bumped their shoulders together and they continued walking.

Jonghyun hummed.

“So, I feel like I have to ask this now. How long did you intend to stay in your new home? Just for the winter?” the other asked them.

Jongin and he shared a look.

“We don’t have any definite plans. We were simply glad to have found a place to stay,” Jongin said. 

“Good,” Jonghyun said cheerfully. “Let’s solve this then without stealing each other’s pack members.”

Jongin and Taemin shared another look. That could only mean one thing, couldn’t it? Did they just got unwittingly adopted into a pack they hadn’t even met? This was headache-inducing, but if Baekhyun and Chanyeol truly mated, they would have to make things work somehow. 

They reached a collection of huts that wasn’t that much bigger than the one they were currently staying at.

Taemin sniffed the air interestedly. It smelled very different than the camps they had been to lately. For a moment, he wondered what it was, but then he realised it was the unusually strong scent of betas. Jonghyun must have told them the truth. The majority of the pack members had to be Betas.

The wolves about stopped what they were doing when they got closer. Taemin felt uncomfortable being the centre of attention like that but he could understand their curiosity.

They were greeted with ‘hellos’ from all sides.

It was overwhelming. More and more wolves joined them and asked them questions. 

Where they came from. How long they wanted to stay. Whether they were hungry. 

The wolves were all incredibly friendly. Taemin hugged Taeyong and Lucas close to his chest as he told himself to relax. Everything felt too good to be true. There had to be a catch somewhere. He could still see Baekhyun and Jongin, but they had drifted in different directions as they got bombarded. Baekhyun was laughing about something Chanyeol had said to him and Jongin was talking animatedly with a shorter beta that had a rather intimidating stare.

Jonghyun touched his elbow gently.

The other took in the expression on his face.

“They can be a bit much when they are excited like that. Let’s move a bit to the side. Shall we? I want you to meet my, well, the members of my original pack.”

“Okay,” Taemin said and let Jonghyun pull him to a collection of benches and tables that were occupied by only two wolves.

“Hello,” a voice greeted cheerfully. Taemin tried hard not to stare because that would be rude, but he was seeing the tallest omega he had ever seen. He could tell even though the other was sitting down.

“Please, don’t stroke Minho’ ego. He knows he has legs to kill.”

“Don’t be rude, Kibum,” the omega said and smiled brightly at Taemin. 

“Hello, I am Taemin.”

“These are Minho and Kibum. Jinki should be on his way,” Jonghyun said excitedly and dragged Taemin down on a bench.

Taemin bit his bottom lip as he tried to think of something to say. 

“Your cubs are cute,” Minho said and Taemin smiled gratefully for the easy conversation opener.

“They are. These are Lucas and Taeyong. Mark and Ten are with Jongin.”

“I can’t help myself, but Lucas looks a bit like Minho…” Kibum said and squinted his eyes.

“Right?” Jonghyun immediately exclaimed.

Taemin looked from the omega to his cub and had to admit that Kibum was right. There was an uncanny resemblance. Especially the area around the eyes was similar.

“We adopted them. So, I am actually not sure who their parents are.” Taemin looked at Minho suspiciously. Surely the other would have said something by now. He tightened his arms around them.

Minho laughed loudly.

“Don’t worry. I would remember having kids.”

Lucas wiggled a bit and reached out for the bread Taemin hadn’t even seen next to Kibum.

“Do they already eat bread?” Kibum asked as he tore off some of the crust.

“More as a soother, but Lucas tries very hard.”

Lucas hesitated a moment before taking the bread from the stranger. Taeyong couldn’t be coaxed into taking it till Taemin took it and handed it to him. 

“I have been wondering…,” he said and wiped some salvia from Lucas’ chin. “there are a lot of betas in your pack.”

Kibum nodded.

“Yes, we all ran away from our packs at one point. I don’t know why you were travelling, but our previous packs had some archaic ideas of how betas should life.”

“To serve alphas and omegas?” Taemin guessed. 

Jonghyun nodded with a sigh.

“Except for Junmyeon, all of us betas fled the beta huts. He only ran away when they tried to mate his omega brother off to a brute and he felt the need to protect him. Sehun is our other omega,” the other said.

“Junmyeon is one of the pack leaders, isn’t he?” 

“Yes,” a friendly voice said from behind him. Taemin twisted around and this time he couldn’t help but stare. The man smelled strongly of alpha, but there wasn’t an ounce of aggressiveness to his scent. Taemin had always thought the scent of aggressiveness was something inherent to an alphas scent that he simply lacked, but apparently, it was not. 

“And this is Jinki,” Jonghyun introduced.

“Nice to meet you. Taemin.”

Jinki smiled brightly at him and moved to settle next to Minho. 

Taemin didn’t feel the slightest bit threatened. He snapped his mouth shut when he realised, he had stared open-mouthed.

“I am sorry,” he said embarrassed.

“It happens all the time,” Jinki said with a shrug and laughed. “I prefer the surprise over the urge to attack and dominate me.”

“I would never!” Taemin said shocked.

“Looks like you are not the only sensible alpha around anymore,” Kibum remarked.

“I shall live it down.”

The ice had been broken and they told him more about their pack and he shared how his own pack had come to be. Taemin stopped being surprised by the similarities of their experiences and led his guard down more and more. Lucas and Taeyong relaxed enough to detach from his torso and started exploring. Especially, Kibum and Minho were enamoured with their antics and started competing for their attention.

They told him about how to survive the winter, that there were fighting techniques they could teach him that would help against a stronger opponent, and that they were always welcome to come to them.

Before he knew it, Taemin was laughing about Jinki’s bad jokes and it had gotten dark.

“We hogged you for long enough. Let’s go to the campfire. We are having a big one tonight,” Jinki said and encouraged them all to get up.

Taemin was much more relaxed when he joined the rest of the pack. Jongin was still talking to the intimidating beta and he snuck up to them and curled his arm around Jongin’s middle. 

Whether his bid for attention could be seen as possessive or not, he wasn’t sure, but the beta gave him a friendly smile. It made him seem much less intimidating.

“You must be Taemin. I am Kyungsoo.”

“Hello.”

“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” Jongin asked.

“Yes, it is. I met a nice alpha. They are all so nice.”

Kyungsoo’s smile widened at that.

“Just wait till you get to know the other half of the pack. They are very curious about you. We are not that used to cute alphas here either except for Jinki,” Kyungsoo said.

“Now, now, you make us sound awfully noisy.” A beta said that certainly fulfilled the trait of being cute perfectly.

“We are not?” Another beta asked with a smile that curled up the edges of his lips.

“Nothing wrong with being noisy,” another said and wriggled his eyebrows.

“Minseok, Jongdae and Yixing,” Kyungsoo introduced with exasperation.

“Make some room,” an omega said and forced his way between Minseok and Kyungsoo.

Taemin’s lips twitched into a smile. Of course, Sehun would be just as tall as Minho. He liked this pack.

“You are all very welcoming. Weren’t you worried?” he asked curiously. He’d be worried if he lived in a unique pack like that.

“We carefully scouted out your scent before approaching you,” Yixing admitted.

“Since you seemed to have cubs, we figured you’d want to avoid a fight,” Kyungsoo said.

“Don’t believe a word they are saying. Everyone just wants to cuddle babies,” Sehun deadpanned.

“Anyway,” Jongdae cleared his throat and sent Sehun a look, “We also thought you might be less conservative. Betas and alphas rarely mate. Your mating bond is quite obvious in your scents.”

“A love match,” Minseok said in a low voice and with a smile.

“Ah,” Taemin said and felt a bit embarrassed that Jongin and he were so obvious to everyone. 

Jongin hummed.

As Taemin watched Jinki and a smiling man that had to be Junmyeon walk and distribute food, he felt strangely enough not like an outsider in this pack. Even though, it was still a bit strange to watch the pack leaders actually care for their pack members instead of being catered to. Junmyeon made sure each and everyone had food from the tray Jinki was carrying.

“This is nice,” he mumbled and leant against Jongin. The other moved and wrapped an around his shoulder.

“A bit unreal,” Jongin said.

“Very unreal,” Taemin agreed as he watched Baekhyun and Chanyeol laugh together on the other side of the fire.

When Junmyeon and Jinki reached them, they also had milk for the cubs.

“Thank you. You are too kind,” Taemin said.

“Expect them to be spoilt rotten here. We have never had cubs here before,” Junmyeon said.

“You certainly won’t be short on babysitters should you need one,” Jinki said wisely.

“Thank you, really,” Jongin said.

Junmyeon gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze and after making sure they had also food for themselves, they moved on.

Jongin and he fed the cubs first. The day must have been extremely exciting for them as well as they immediately succumbed to sleep after they were full. Jongdae cooed silently at their sleeping faces.

Taemin closed his eyes and enjoyed the gentle weight of their bodies in his lap, the warmth of the fire against his skin and Jongin’s presence beside him and in his soul.

This was paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading my story. I want to thank you for all the comments and kudos you left me. They made my days.
> 
> I admit this chapter was a bit self-indulgent as I just wanted some fluffy EXO and SHINee... I considered adding the rest of NCT for a second but 23 cubs in all seemed a bit unrealistic. So, I decided against it. I had a lot of fun writing Taeyong, Ten, Lucas and Mark, though.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you had fun. Stay safe! <3


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